RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

kiwisub12 -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/2/2008 4:05:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Now that a 1,000 lbs of sensible advice has been dispensed, lets get to the silly and sarcastic stuff.  Try this to loosed your ass up:

Use Bengay as lube, it says it loosens tight muscles..  LOL



hehehe    -    Bad Man!     hehehe



Skully7000 -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/3/2008 1:07:31 AM)

glad you are getting the doctor thing out of the way...

now thats out of way:

as people have mentioned, really focus on your mental state. You admitted that it has gotten to the point where you don't even want to sleep in the same bed... that in itself is a sign that you have already associated the pain of the anal sex with unpleasant thoughts of failure and not pleasing your S.O. etc etc. besides the physical health answers you need to talk to your S.O. and work on the mental problems. you have to relax. you have to not Fear the performance and just enjoy the act. He has to understand that he can't just command it and make it happen. and pulling your hair isn't going to help your performance anxiety...

he has to understand that he is not helping and since this is something you both want... he must be prepared to do what he needs to, you must be relaxed and ease back into it. it has to be sexy again.

cheers
and good luck
Skully



BikerDomRealTime -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/3/2008 6:55:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Labia

My Master loves to have anal sex with me. Up until recently I didn't find it an issue. Something had triggred me into not relaxing as of late and I find it terribly painful when he pushes himself into my sphincter and starts the pistion action. It has become so much of an issue that I don't want to sleep in the same bed and he is fraustrated that I don't want it cause it hurts. He has tried a bit to sooth me. From massaging my back, squeezing my breasts. To hurting me in other ways to take my mind of the internal pain of his penis inside my sphincter. Like grabbing a fistful of my hair and twisting it from my sclap to spanking me.
It is getting so bad that the last time I told him to stop he got the shitz and muttered he was about to come and he had to stop.
I want to relax like I used to so it can be enjoyable for me and him.
I have been considering on getting a buttplug just a small one to wear for a short period during the day. Hopefully to get used to it. Is this a good idea? Or is there a good numbing cream to put around the sphincter?


Hello labia,

Perhaps this has already been addressed and I appologize if I am rehashing things.  I read that in the past you had not had an issue with anal sex but now you do.  I think what needs to be addressed is why you are not relaxing when you and Master are having this.  I think a plug is good for loosening and stretching tight muscles, but I don't think they will do anything for the psychological aspect of you not being able to relax.  Perhaps you can reflect back on when the tension began and try to see a cause and effect.  Did something happen that started you to tense up when you have anal sex?  Just my thoughts.



proudsub -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/3/2008 8:14:35 PM)

quote:

Use Bengay as lube, it says it loosens tight muscles..


I used to do this with my plug until someone on here posted that it has a lot of aspirin in it that can be absorbed quickly in the rectum.  Now i just use a dab to get the nice sting.[:)]



EnferCatin -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/3/2008 9:57:56 PM)

Go to the Doctor.  It shouldn't hurt if you've been doing it all along.  Don't fool around with sudden pain back there, it can be very serious.  If everything checks out fine, go the plug route.  It works great. 



camille65 -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/4/2008 5:45:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: babygurl4daddy

umm, time for a new dom that will respect you. i love being a babygirl... daddies are so sweet yet very strict and take care of you in every way.
 Why on earth would someone 'find a new dom' because something has become uncomfortable?This is when being an adult comes into play, where people sit down and talk about things then work things out. Ending a relationship simply due to a particular discomfort, is to me immature behavior that will end up with that person never growing or learning how to cope with stuff that can easily be worked through. I certainly don't see it as a lack of respect from him, but this suggestion screams lack of respect from the other end. 'Umm if it doesn't work, then give up' is self defeating and not a good way to go through life. OP yup you have gotten some good advice. My bit is to see if he can spend extended time playing with your ass before entry, get that arousal and satisfication working again if it is not a medical issue.



lostgirl83 -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/7/2008 8:44:33 PM)

Hmm well hopefully the doctor visit goes ok... I do have this problem occasionally myself. Id have to agree with a few people on here, a butt plug is the way to go. Not one of the huge plastic ones, rather a small (think the length of your middle finger, and maybe an inch and a half across at the widest point) rubber or silicon version. Use LOTS of lube... more than you think you will need and work it in. Leave it alone for a few hours before you play. You'll be surprised how much better it feels. The small plug won't stretch your asshole, but holding it open like that for a while will relax the muscles enough to make sex comfortable. I have done this... even wore it to work hehe, it helps!!



beltainefaerie -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/7/2008 9:04:34 PM)

If there isn't anything medical, I agree that an anal plug may be just what will help you get used to penetration again while masturbating and practice relaxation.  It can be helpful to practice relaxing and stretching when you aren't feeling the pressure of wanting to be a good sub so he can cum, etc.

In addition to the great advice you have already gotten, I would just mention that not all toys are created equal.  Even if it says it is silicone, go with a reputable brand.  (I got some kind of generic butt plug that claimed to be silicone and in fact felt like hard plastic.  when I tried to sterilize it, it melted.  Grr.  Tantus makes fabulous anal plugs and other toys and I've never had any issue.) 



babygurl4daddy -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/8/2008 2:24:40 PM)

Bengay, wow you are mean! I think Vick's Vapor Rub should work.. may as well suggest ginger while you are at it... hell try wasabi for kicks.



Labia -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/19/2008 4:05:57 PM)

Hey guys thanks for all your wonderful answers, I have talked with my master and he said that I should try the buttplug option and wear it while I walk to the front gate and back to the house.  It's not a short walk as he lives on a farm. So it should give me time to get used to it.



Aanakaris -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/19/2008 5:04:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Labia

Hey guys thanks for all your wonderful answers, I have talked with my master and he said that I should try the buttplug option and wear it while I walk to the front gate and back to the house.  It's not a short walk as he lives on a farm. So it should give me time to get used to it.


If you do that, remember to not only lubricate the plug, but put some slippery stuff on the sides of the plug after you get it in to stop your ass cheeks from chafing against it.

Howard



angelikaJ -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/19/2008 5:10:35 PM)

There are some plugs that are better designed for that type of wear.

Also, I highly recommend the book Anal Pleasure And Health by Jack Morin.

There is a lot of good information in it and some good excercises.



Justme696 -> RE: Should I wear a buttplug or use numbing cream? (5/19/2008 11:02:06 PM)

Or...just let it be for a while.
And the right feeling..to you..might come back.
It is good to focus a while on something else. Yes I know..your Owner might dislike this scenario.



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.015625