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RE: Intimacy and Trust - 4/30/2008 6:04:36 PM

MasterJaysslave

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Joined: 4/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lanie38

I don't limit my intimacy with him based on trust...as someone else mentioned trust is subjective...do I trust him to never hurt me, always love me, always have my best interests at heart? I hope he does, but he's human and there are no guarantees...so I put the burden of trust on myself.

Intimacy for me, at least the kind I crave has much more to do with honesty, acceptance, commitment and devotion....

Yes, but if you didn't trust him on many levels I doubt you would be with him. You are trusting him to be honest with you, to accept you, to have that committment and devotion and you trust in yourself to do the same.

For me personally I agree with Ravenmuse. I can be physically intimate with someone, more so if I am commanded to do so. I may not trust this person as far as I can throw them, but I am putting my trust in my master to make the right decisions for me. Yet I cannot have emotional intimacy with someone I don't trust.

Also honesty should definitely play a role in both trust and emotional intimacy, but like trust and intimacy is subjective and we all have different ideas or levels that are acceptable to us.

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RE: Intimacy and Trust - 4/30/2008 7:38:51 PM

lanie38

Posts: 120
Joined: 9/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJaysslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: lanie38

I don't limit my intimacy with him based on trust...as someone else mentioned trust is subjective...do I trust him to never hurt me, always love me, always have my best interests at heart? I hope he does, but he's human and there are no guarantees...so I put the burden of trust on myself.

Intimacy for me, at least the kind I crave has much more to do with honesty, acceptance, commitment and devotion....

Yes, but if you didn't trust him on many levels I doubt you would be with him. You are trusting him to be honest with you, to accept you, to have that committment and devotion and you trust in yourself to do the same.

For me personally I agree with Ravenmuse. I can be physically intimate with someone, more so if I am commanded to do so. I may not trust this person as far as I can throw them, but I am putting my trust in my master to make the right decisions for me. Yet I cannot have emotional intimacy with someone I don't trust.

Also honesty should definitely play a role in both trust and emotional intimacy, but like trust and intimacy is subjective and we all have different ideas or levels that are acceptable to us.

Don't put words in my mouth...you have no idea what my motivation or his might be as to why we might be together...I think you missed the whole point of my post.

I trust *myself* to be honest, accepting, devoted....do I hope he is in return? Sure, but I'm fine being intimate with him without that guarantee...

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RE: Intimacy and Trust - 5/1/2008 6:49:31 AM

SirKaton

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Joined: 3/31/2008
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Not that I require exceedingly great levels of trust for intimacy (i.e. fucking someone at a swing party), to be truly intimate with someone and allow that person close enough to really know me, I have to trust you beyond a cursory level.

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RE: Intimacy and Trust - 5/1/2008 6:58:09 AM

Loveisallyouneed

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Joined: 2/5/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

Can they exist one without the other? Or is it a given that with out the one you cannot have the other? Which one is the most important?

Without trust there is no intimacy.

Without faith there is no trust (faith is what you have before an experiece, trust is what you have after the experience, assuming all went well).

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RE: Intimacy and Trust - 5/1/2008 11:55:51 AM

MansStrength

Posts: 45
Joined: 2/27/2008
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If it is emotional intimacy then it's your choice whether you need trust before you can let go. I'd say with most people that goes hand in hand. With a voluntary submissive most have to trust in order to surrender. With a driven slave perhaps all bets are off. It's as individual as can be. I knew a women who went from man to man and gave served, cried, laughed and lived open with her slavery and whorishness. She made a comment that was great. I cannot own my emotions I have to show them unless I am told to hide them. I swear she was the most free creature I have even met. Were we in a world where women could be taken or captured, then a very serious degree of intimacy would be reached by attrition, with them having your children without a choice. With you owning them would come and ever increasing intimacy. Would there ever be trust? I think the lines of fantasy to reality are fragile. But passion is primal force, love is very difficult to walk away from. For those so inclined, long, built up, steady, and trustworthy control through ownership brings about comfort and a reliability that for them spells safety and security. Which is more intimate. Who can say.

< Message edited by MansStrength -- 5/1/2008 12:01:52 PM >

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RE: Intimacy and Trust - 5/1/2008 4:53:03 PM

SirJohnMandevill

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

for me.. trust first and then I can be intimate...

True for me and my submissive also. For many of us, I think, reading these boards.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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RE: Intimacy and Trust - 5/1/2008 8:11:19 PM

mhawk

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From: Washington
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trust for whatever it is worth

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