RE: How to ask for aftercare? (Full Version)

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lanie38 -> RE: How to ask for aftercare? (4/29/2008 7:05:12 AM)

~FR~
Fucking is my aftercare, works for me...but may not for you..and that being said Doms aren't mindreaders...



Daddyslilpookie -> RE: How to ask for aftercare? (4/29/2008 9:19:24 AM)

After care is very required, it is very important part of a scene, without it I would be really really emotional. You should negotiate it before you even play, if he says no, then he really doesn't care about your feelings or your needs it seems to me.



subtee -> RE: How to ask for aftercare? (4/29/2008 9:45:31 AM)

You: Sir, you are so masterful, powerful dominant and strong. I have a concern, if I may.
 
Him: Speak, Sub.
 
You: Well, Sir, I have never been with anyone so…dominating, so intense, so masterfully mastery. My fear is not of your abilities, but of my own to be able to cope with the domliness with which you so dominatingly dom.
 
Him: Hmmmm. Yes, I can see how that would be cause for concern.
 
You: So…I was thinking about your most excellent dominance in aftercare…mmmmmmmm, Sir, I’ll bet you are the aftercarest of aftercarers! Ohhhhh just thinking and talking about the masterful and dominant aftercare you must be so skilled with makes me fall into subspace…catch me Sir!
 
 ~fein—I mean, faint~
 
Actual results may vary. Always consult with other, non-smartass people before embarking on this or any course of discourse which may or may not be rife with sarcasm. Equal Opportunity Offender. Not valid in Iowa. Void or prohibited or where it might get you seriously smacked (without aftercare).



MistressPav -> RE: How to ask for aftercare? (4/29/2008 9:47:44 AM)

A Bottom should never have to 'ask' for aftercare.  It's the Top's responsibility to never top someone he/she doesn't have the desire or time to give aftercare, regardless of the situation.
~pav



OldBastardly1 -> RE: How to ask for aftercare? (4/29/2008 9:50:10 AM)

That was good, subtee. I got a chuckle out of that.



subtee -> RE: How to ask for aftercare? (4/29/2008 10:09:31 AM)

Thank you, Old Bastardly1.

I'm sure all the womens speak to and about you in this manner all the time! It is, I'm sure, routine for you.

~hug~



OldBastardly1 -> RE: How to ask for aftercare? (4/29/2008 11:42:31 AM)

[sm=yeahright.gif]  Only when I am sleeping and all is right in the world.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How to ask for aftercare? (4/29/2008 7:12:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyslilpookie
After care is very required, it is very important part of a scene, without it I would be really really emotional. You should negotiate it before you even play, if he says no, then he really doesn't care about your feelings or your needs it seems to me.

OR he's just not into aftercare as part of his kink or isn't good at it and doesn't want it.

It's ok for a bottom to say no to certain things, but if a dom does, then he just doesn't care?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How to ask for aftercare? (4/29/2008 7:13:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressPav
A Bottom should never have to 'ask' for aftercare.  It's the Top's responsibility to never top someone he/she doesn't have the desire or time to give aftercare, regardless of the situation.
~pav

*bangs head on keyboard*

Turning bottoms into helpless victims and tops into demons based on how they like their kink, one forum post at a time.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: How to ask for aftercare? (5/1/2008 1:25:28 PM)

I believe that is an attitude  that sets people up for trouble. It's ALWAYS your responcibility to see that you number one is looked out for. It's YOUR job to speak out if you need something or something's not working. NOT the tops to be some kind of mind reader who should just automatically know what YOU need.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressPav

A Bottom should never have to 'ask' for aftercare.  It's the Top's responsibility to never top someone he/she doesn't have the desire or time to give aftercare, regardless of the situation.
~pav




justnewsub -> RE: How to ask for aftercare? (5/1/2008 4:55:43 PM)

Thank you for all the different perspectives... i agree Doms are not mindreaders... therefore i am now making sure that during the "getting to know you" phase i am mentioning how i really enjoy/need aftrcare when coming out of sub space and when experiencing sub drop... not to mention after a really good scene.

I also try to make it a point to thank my Dom for what we have experienced together and try to make sure he is as comforted/comfortable as I would like to be. (the whole treat others as you would like to be treated thing).  I have decided to as some have stated here that if a Dom doesn't want to discuss aftercare with me or has some smart ass thing to say about it he may not be someone I am willing to play with or i just need to prepare myself if i do decide to still play...

Thanks for all the replies :)

justnew



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