quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

You want prawns on the barbi and iced Fosters? get your ass over here to the Land Down Under where we drive on the propper side of the road.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

I read here often that a "real slave"--is one who acts, follows and obeys without question--their very being exists for the will and the pleasure of the Master---what is the line between healthy "devotion" and neurotic addiction?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

For me,
living in a co-dependant, people-pleasing addiction meant that I >
~tried to please EVERYONE, as affirmation that I was good, important and desired.
  vs.  Pleasing the ONE , and from a mental place where I already knew and embraced my own self-worth and didn't need someone elses feelings and happiness to define or decide if I WAS happy or what I was feeling.
 
 
~ that I found people who NEEDED me to take care of them ( emotionally) and who used my strength ( of service and devotion) as THEIR sole source of strength. 
vs.
I looked for relationships with people who already could take care of themselves and wanted me healthy and serving/pleasing them from a place of strength inside me, but also had their own strength and energy to reciprocate and rejuvinate me.
     reads:  emotional vampire vs powerexchange or empowerment through a power-transfer.
 
  I put others first, made the person I was pleasing or serving a priority but constantly forgot to include myself in the equation.
 
  imo,serving anothers needs in submission is not suppose to be so self-less that you forget to make sure that the one you are serving is making sure your needs are being taken care of while you are taking care of their wants and desires.
  for me> that is the difference.
 I learned to give of myself that much, only after I was sure I was emotionally safe( genuine trust was founded and I was with someone emotionally healthy ) and cared for by the one I was submitting to.  I am serving another, but my needs, emotions, feelings, well-being, desires, happiness is ALSO considered and important ( to me!  and also to the other person ) .
 
 
addiction...whether it be people-addicted, emotional addiction, substance addiction/abuse (etc) is an escape.  from feelings, emotions stuffed or ignored, from reality, a faux coping mechanizm ( I know that is over-simplifyed ) and so if I am taking care of another persons needs and feelings INORDER to ignore mine  I have crossed the line from healthy devotion into something unhealthy for me.
 
.......and so every time Tyson stops me in my tracks and makes me focus asking > what are you feeling right now cyn? Tell me how you are?  Talk to me about your dreams.  Write me a poem or story about last night and tell me what you loved about it and what you hated about it....When he looks deep into my eyes for the answers or responses I cannot verbalize  >>> I know I'm in something healthy and with someone who knows how to take my submission but embraces much more about me than just what I can give him or do for him.
 
warm regards to you LadyHathor
Cyndi
 
 
 
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I think many are co-dependent at best and I don't think much of them or their "masters".


Just because you are happier than you have ever been doesn't mean you are doing well or living healthy