RE: Humiliation and the female bottom

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RE: Humiliation and the female bottom - 4/22/2008 8:56:07 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tigrita
Of course it is very critical to only play with concepts that are not too terribly close to the heart. It is different for everyone, what is too damaging and what can be played with. You have to really know and trust your partner. I highly recommend Midori's workshop on humiliation play, it goes into great detail about how to suss out those limits and that which can be fulfilling for both. I don't want to plagarize her ideas, so I won't spell out any more.

Well I agree that you need to take care- too many people take classes for physical kinks and don't really do much when it comes to the internal manipulation kinks.

However something being "too personal" might be exactly where it hits best for a particular person. I know for me, I wasn't able to really get into degradation for a long time, it took a lot of strengthening within to not only be able to understand it, but to be able to flex around it and have it become a good experience for me. But it really is for me now.

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RE: Humiliation and the female bottom - 4/22/2008 9:09:22 PM

al2getherooky

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I don't agree that certain words are necessarily abusive or set triggers for eating disorders (not across the board, at least).

If you call her a pig while driving it home, that makes you a pigfucker. <shrugs>

This isn't a schoolyard. The semiotic implications are contextual; words and actions which might elsewhere have purely negative connotations are, for many of us, courtship.

Baa ram ewe.

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RE: Humiliation and the female bottom - 4/23/2008 12:53:28 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: al2getherooky
The semiotic implications are contextual; .............

I hope you mean that
baby
slut
hole
pig
cow
cunt
whore
meant he likes me

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RE: Humiliation and the female bottom - 4/23/2008 1:24:22 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy
In other words, can humiliation be taken out of the box and played without leaving a little of itself in the host? Can shame and humiliation just be role play?

I see two different questions here so I give two answers.

quote:

Can shame and humiliation just be role play?

Yes.

quote:

In other words, can humiliation be taken out of the box and played without leaving a little of itself in the host?

It cannot answer for all, however for me, it leaves a little of itself and it has to. Else there would be no point. It keeps me centred and reminds me of my vulnerability. No one is untouchable but there are those that believe in their omnipotence. Humiliation allows for humility and allows me to see the strength I have and not to misuse it nor take it for granted.

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 4/23/2008 1:25:59 AM >

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RE: Humiliation and the female bottom - 4/23/2008 4:52:12 AM

eyesopened

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i see it as a whole different thing.... humbling. The word humble has its root in the word for "ground" to be brought to a state where i am not the intellectual, cultured or refined but now the most base, the most low, an animal, primate, basic creature. Strip away all the layers that society, upbringing, culture and community has heaped upon me... make me that basic of all things. For me, that is the paradox of what we do, it frees me in a way that is both humiliating and enpowering.

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RE: Humiliation and the female bottom - 4/24/2008 2:58:54 AM

NorthernGent

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Humans are a complex lot with a whole range of emotions and instincts; I've seen nothing to suggest that strength of character and an instinct to be humiliated are mutually exclusive. We all have that animal within us, and humiliation is reducing us to our base instinct (within the borders of the power dynamic). Humiliation is associated with force, too.......

I'd offer that strength of character is a must, because the last thing you need is to reduce someone to a wreck, which is possible at the extreme end of humiliation.

It would be useful to spell out what constitutes humiliation for you - name calling?, a woman licking your piss out of the toilet?, embarrassing her in public? or something entirely different?

In terms of the role play comment, I can't see how it can simply be role play, within the context of humiliation being a base instinct.

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RE: Humiliation and the female bottom - 4/24/2008 12:02:31 PM

Vigilantejustice

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

I do not find the two contradicting at all and in fact, I believe all types of submission should come from positions of strength. More so, (I've caught a lot of heat for this btw) I've always believed in whatever initials one chooses (T/b, D/s, M/s even TPE) for the dynamic both parties must be coequals, the Yin and Yang so to speak. Without trying to sound like a personal ad I am beginning to wonder if humiliation and shame can exist with high self esteem and self confidence. In other words, can humiliation be taken out of the box and played without leaving a little of itself in the host? Can shame and humiliation just be role play?

First off, I'm totally with you in the equal partners/unequal power thing. Absolutely my feelings.

My self-confidence borders on (and indeed, occasionally surpasses) conceit. [1] For me embarrassment (I choose not to say shame, for me shame has a deeper connotation that implies more psychological trauma than I find sexy or potentially bearable) and humiliation is:

a) a grounding experience. It takes me down a peg, but in a safe, affectionate/loving environment. This is the thing that I believe, for me, keeps it from becoming an intrinsic part of my psyche and thereby damaging.

b) proof of my HusDom's [2] unconditional love. If I am <this-that-or-the-other>, if he desires that <whatever makes me a little squidgy> be part of my experience and he *knows* about it, but he still married me, collared me, loves me... Wow. It helps me worry less about the little screw ups I make in our life.

In short, I think there needs to be a pretty good foundation of trust to delve beyond the barest surface of humiliation and embarrassment. If you don't have that, then IMNSHO you run a much greater risk of causing real psychological or emotional trauma. Of course, as with all things, YMMV. Each person may have individual triggers (a certain word, or a certain situation) that make them squick. [3] Think of it like having a back problem that limits where you can flog them. There are just some places, in this context emotionally, that are no-go zones.

-Corinne

[1] One of the reasons I could never do TPE, I don't entirely trust that anyone but *ME* can know what is best for me in regular life situations.
[2] He's not just my husband, he's not just my Daddy... feel free to adopt this word if you find it appropriate. I have a language fetish, and I adore inventing new words.
[3] This is also true for Tops/D-types! It took years for Daddy to be comfortable with the word cunt. I'm glad he was willing and able to get past the block!

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RE: Humiliation and the female bottom - 4/27/2008 5:56:36 PM

needsOwner

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for me name calling doesnt work, but being made to do things i consider nasty makes my face burn which makes other parts slippery shall we say...but i view it as humiliation since it makes me red faced and cant barely speak if is strong enough

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