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RE: Infidelity - 4/22/2008 6:11:40 PM

UR2Badored

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quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

A person would have to be very petty and quite naive to think a cyber relationship is cheating. last time I checked, sexual relations occur between two or more people in reality, not in an internet based fantasy.

I think a cyber relationship can become intimate without any sexual contact--and I agree this intimacy may well be based on fantasy. Thats why everybody should be on board --agree first, act later.

Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so (something like that) William Shakespeare

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RE: Infidelity - 4/22/2008 6:14:54 PM

beargonewild

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Yet if one really thinks about a cyber relationship, it's all just a bunch of words across a computer screen, just in the same vein as reading a porn pocketbook or a smut magazine article. Just saying yanno.

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RE: Infidelity - 4/22/2008 6:40:34 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

OK, Have just been beaten up badly in my last post.

So you obviously didn't learn anything the first time. You have alot of learning to do about the world and what people decide to do between themselves. Vows can be written any way people want them to be. What consenting adults decide what works for them is their life.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 4/22/2008 6:42:20 PM >

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RE: Infidelity - 4/22/2008 6:46:41 PM

TethersEnd

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Nothing is EVER Black and White.

I'm Married, but seperated long enough to raise a child to entering into grade school.
Does that mean my seperation makes me single or does that make me a horrible cheating human?

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RE: Infidelity - 4/22/2008 8:20:06 PM

Owner59

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

OK, Have just been beaten up badly in my last post. So character assasin's relax!!Just talking to the married folks now. About sleeping with other people.

I do not think it matters if your spouse knows about your infidelity or not, if she allows it or not, condones it or not. If you are married and have relations sexual, cyber or otherwise, it is being unfaithfull. There is more lying and subtrifuge if the spouse doesn't know about it but in any case you are breaking your vows.

Yup.

So?

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RE: Infidelity - 4/22/2008 8:56:47 PM

MmeGigs

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

OK, Have just been beaten up badly in my last post. So character assasin's relax!!Just talking to the married folks now. About sleeping with other people.

I do not think it matters if your spouse knows about your infidelity or not, if she allows it or not, condones it or not. If you are married and have relations sexual, cyber or otherwise, it is being unfaithfull. There is more lying and subtrifuge if the spouse doesn't know about it but in any case you are breaking your vows.

I'm married. My hubby and I have sex with and play with other people. We didn't vow to have an exclusive relationship when we married. We talked this whole thing to death to be sure that it wouldn't be a problem before we ever attempted it, and talked about it more afterwards to make sure it was still okay. It's an ongoing conversation. Neither of us has ever cheated on a partner. When we were in monogamous relationships in the past, neither of us cheated by anyone's definition of the word.

Your opinion on this seems pretty self-serving. Your claim that what you're doing isn't any different than what someone like me is doing would be more credible if you weren't using that claim to try to deflect criticism. If my hubby discovered that I had gotten together with someone for a nooner, he'd be happy to know I'd had a nice lunch hour. How would your wife react if she discovered you had a nooner? Cheating isn't about who you're messing around with, it's about who you're lying to.

I have a lot of sympathy for people who have discovered kink but have a non-kinky spouse. I have friends in this situation, and don't consider them bad or untrustworthy or slimy or any of that. They're basically honorable people, but they are doing this thing that can't really be seen as anything but dishonorable, and they accept that. I don't have much sympathy for those who make excuses for what they do. That's how I see your post - an excuse in pugnacious terms.

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RE: Infidelity - 4/22/2008 9:21:48 PM

MmeGigs

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quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

A person would have to be very petty and quite naive to think a cyber relationship is cheating. last time I checked, sexual relations occur between two or more people in reality, not in an internet based fantasy.

I find that a rather odd comment in a venue where many consider cyber relationships to be very real and not just internet based fantasy.

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RE: Infidelity - 4/22/2008 11:22:45 PM

meatcleaver

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Most people marry and regret it and often stick around for the kids, which is probably not a good idea. Infidelity has been going on as long as marriage and it goes on in non-marital relationships. I just don't see why third party people get worked up about it. Well, I guess it makes them realistically feel their own relationship is weak. As for a cheated party getting revenge, well, that is also part and parcel of the fun of the infidelity game.

I never ask if someone I'm seeing is married. I just don't see it as any of my business.

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RE: Infidelity - 4/23/2008 4:51:05 AM

DupedDom

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We are all in the same world brother!!

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RE: Infidelity - 4/23/2008 4:54:08 AM

DupedDom

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Your opinion on this seems pretty self-serving.

Your opinion seem self serving as well!!

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RE: Infidelity - 4/23/2008 9:00:57 AM

atursvcMaam

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   Let's see if i got this straight, Without telling your wife, of some years, you got involved in a D/s relationship with a married sub. Your wife found out, and said that things could not continue as they were, and did not boot you to the curb.  You talked to your sub, and said that the relationship had to change.  She then went looking for a Dom that would be more able to meet her needs on her terms, and you felt slighted. Oh, just for the record you will rewrite this and manipulate the story in whatever way it takes to make you the victim.
     You got caught, but not tarred and feathered, consider yourself lucky.
      Your wife got lied to. Yep it happens with varied results. This lie probably hurts a bit more than "No you don't look fat in that dress."
      Your sub had to have a feeling that Your interest in her was stronger, or as strong as your feelings towards your wife. she was wrong, your need/desire to stay married was stronger than your feelings towards her, but you wanted the best of both worlds.
       Try being honest with those you love, those you care about, and with yourself, and it might work.

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RE: Infidelity - 4/23/2008 9:05:25 AM

CalifChick

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FR

I bet you sided with Rachel when Ross said, "But we were on a BREAK!". Didn't ya?

Cali

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RE: Infidelity - 4/23/2008 9:14:45 AM

atursvcMaam

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Never followed the show much, but i would certainly have let Rachel cry on my shoulder any time that she wanted to, whether i thought she was right or wrong.

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RE: Infidelity - 4/23/2008 9:55:35 AM

beargonewild

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs

quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

A person would have to be very petty and quite naive to think a cyber relationship is cheating. last time I checked, sexual relations occur between two or more people in reality, not in an internet based fantasy.

I find that a rather odd comment in a venue where many consider cyber relationships to be very real and not just internet based fantasy.

No so if you take it in the same context as the OP's statement. It's just my opinion that isn't able to see how a reality based relationship is at par to a cyber based relationship when each are governed by completely different sets of rules.

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RE: Infidelity - 4/23/2008 10:05:46 AM

atursvcMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

Yet if one really thinks about a cyber relationship, it's all just a bunch of words across a computer screen, just in the same vein as reading a porn pocketbook or a smut magazine article. Just saying yanno.

Perhaps so, but there is a much higher likelihood that one might actually turn the words on a screen into a real time meeting than the words in a smut magazine, or a porn pocketbook. in my experience, i have never been asked by someone from a porn book, or smut magazine to join them for coffee, or dinner. yanno.
yes, i have gotten that kind of invitation on line on more than one occasion.

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live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
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Post #: 35