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My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 2:00:12 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		I had a nightmare tonight. I dreamed that I was lying with my sub and I reached down to touch him and there was a woman's hand already there.

I jumped up and sure enough, there was this beautiful woman sitting on the edge of the bed touching pup. I grabbed her hand and told her to get out. She just laughed and continued stroking him. I went postal on her. I beat her to the point of her not being able to stand up.

Cut to morning: I was standing in the kitchen having coffee, when her Dominant walked in. He was kind of pacing a little and I knew he was upset. "About last night.." I began. He turned, with fist clenched and started beating the shit out of me. I could feel and hear my ribs cracking as his fist found their way to them. He beat me to a pulp, all the while yelling "Where is YOUR Dom? Where is YOUR Dom?". I think I lost conscience a couple of times.

When I awoke in my dream, the first thing I noticed was this heaviness that I used to call my head. My face felt like it had been through a cement mixer and my body ached more than I have ever felt in the past.

He was still there, with his pretty sub. I tried to stand, but I couldn't so I just sat down in a chair and stared at him. I couldn't speak, my lips felt like they had just sucked the crap out of a vacuum cleaner. I think my top lip actually touched my nose, that is how swollen it was.

In the mean while, he was still fuming and told me that I couldn't go until my Dominant came to get me. I tried to explain that I didn't have a Dom, that I WAS the Dominant. He laughed and told me that if I were, I would have been able to protect the man in my bed.

At that point I looked around and saw my pup, just lying still with blood all over him. He was dead.

I started to cry out of my swollen eyes and found to my dismay that I couldn't because it stung them so bad. My cries were silent and without tears. I looked at him and said "Do with me what you will, I have no desire to live anymore".

When I woke up, I felt tears on my face and my entire body hurts. I couldn't move and I would have given anything to have a submissive to help me get up and to give me a pain pill.

I didn't remember my dream. I now sit here typing out my dream, in hopes of casting it out of my mind so I can return to bed.

I feel so unbelievably sad....and hopeless right now. You can say I am on the pity pot, but I feel like I am grieving more than feeling sorry for myself.

It has taken me a better part of an hour to type this up. I listen to the same old robotic voice telling me what letters I am typing as I sit in my own darkness.

How I long to see the sun tomorrow.
How I long to dance on the shore.
How I long to feel my pup in my arms. He always made my nightmares and the feelings that come from them, disappear.

There is more to this nightmare that involves my sister, I think I will call her tomorrow and ask how she is feeling.

I will return to my empty bed now. Wish me luck..I have no "Dom" to "Protect me" lol Jesus, I think I read collar me forums to much!

MoGa

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 2:19:31 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Do you have anyone to call right now?  Would turning on the radio or TV help?  ((hugs))

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 3:25:32 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		It seems to me that in this dream pup symbolizes your body. The pretty sub and her dominant are the two other parts of your composite mind. Your body is as much theirs as yours, so that is why she caressed pup (your body). The violence, taking a severe beating, pup (your body) being dead, all indicate that your body is in bad condition. (Didn't you have a stroke? Change your diet to plain meat, plain yoghurt, green vegetables (no cauliflower, no carrots, no nuts, nor fruit), potatoes and plain vitamin c tablets. Avoid anything sweet.)
 
The repeated question "Where is your dominant?" appears to implicate that there is nobody to take care of the total you, i.e. to take care of your body.

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 5:31:12 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*biggest hugs* MoGa

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 5:53:35 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		That rotten bitch!

Gosh I thought I had disturbing dreams.

The thing that comes to mind is good communication with him.   Not only is the words- but the timing and mood.


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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 6:12:09 AM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline 		*Just hugs you* Our sub con. can be a real bastard at times. Treat yourself well.

I find after nightmares like that eating just a nibble of something breaks it's hold on me a bit. Makes me come into myself more fully.. as does a warm shower, or bath.

You are in my thoughts.

Gwyn

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 6:31:53 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Do you have anyone to call right now?  Would turning on the radio or TV help?  ((hugs))


Thank you Vendaval, I am feeling much better this morning. I can hear the traffic outside and I know that all is well here. To answer your question, no I do not have any friends. I usually call Brian when I felt like that, but I didn't want to wake him as he had a test yesterday and some today (Finals, yuck).

MoGa

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 6:45:17 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

It seems to me that in this dream pup symbolizes your body. The pretty sub and her dominant are the two other parts of your composite mind. Your body is as much theirs as yours, so that is why she caressed pup (your body). The violence, taking a severe beating, pup (your body) being dead, all indicate that your body is in bad condition. (Didn't you have a stroke? Change your diet to plain meat, plain yoghurt, green vegetables (no cauliflower, no carrots, no nuts, nor fruit), potatoes and plain vitamin c tablets. Avoid anything sweet.)
 
The repeated question "Where is your dominant?" appears to implicate that there is nobody to take care of the total you, i.e. to take care of your body.


Rule, how interesting! I'm the one who normally studies dreams lol

quote:

It seems to me that in this dream pup symbolizes your body. The pretty sub and her dominant are the two other parts of your composite mind. Your body is as much theirs as yours, so that is why she caressed pup (your body). The violence, taking a severe beating, pup (your body) being dead, all indicate that your body is in bad condition. (Didn't you have a stroke?
 
Yes, and yesterday at the doctors office, my doctor was explaining to me that I have Fibromyalgia. I was feeling a lot of pain before I went to bed.
 
quote:

Change your diet to plain meat, plain yoghurt, green vegetables (no cauliflower, no carrots, no nuts, nor fruit), potatoes and plain vitamin c tablets. Avoid anything sweet.)

 
I have already changed my diet. I do not eat red meat anymore and the rest is a given, since I am diabetic.
 
quote:

The repeated question "Where is your dominant?" appears to implicate that there is nobody to take care of the total you, i.e. to take care of your body.

 
You are amazingly right on target here. I don't have anyone riight now to take care of me. So far I have been doing a fair job of it. I am now learning cane travel and this summer I may be getting a guide dog, which will help with my confidence. It has only been 7 months since I lost my sight.
 
Hugs!
 
MoGa
 


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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 6:47:02 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*biggest hugs* MoGa


<Hugs GT back and gives her a little smoochie!> Thank you!
 
MoGa

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 6:49:13 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

That rotten bitch!

Gosh I thought I had disturbing dreams.

The thing that comes to mind is good communication with him.   Not only is the words- but the timing and mood.


lol pahunkboy, if Rule is right, you are calling ME a selfish bitch! lmao!
Ok I confess, my pup and I had an arguement just before I went to bed. <sigh> But I wasn't looking to air our dirty laundry here :)

MoGa

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 6:50:19 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gwynvyd

*Just hugs you* Our sub con. can be a real bastard at times. Treat yourself well.

I find after nightmares like that eating just a nibble of something breaks it's hold on me a bit. Makes me come into myself more fully.. as does a warm shower, or bath.

You are in my thoughts.

Gwyn


Awww bless your heart Gwyn, thank you for the thoughts :) God knows, I could use a few thoughts of my own today lol

MoGa

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 6:53:33 AM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline 		i empathise with you 100%, MoGa. from time to time i also have horrible soul wrentching dreams.
theyre hard to explain without sharing the whole 'event', but i wake up with a broken heart. or in a state of
total abject horror and fear.
most recently, last week in fact, i had one about Zee (i sleep alone at night too), i messaged him at
2am! how bizzare, he had a dream about me that night that almost paralleled mine!
i think like Rule said, there is something we need, or are afraid of (?), that we dont get in waking life.
be gentle with yourself today

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 7:26:18 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
I have Fibromyalgia
I am diabetic

I am not surprised by either.
If it is diabetes type two it may abate provided you loose weight. The fibromyalgia will disappear and the chance of any other strokes greatly reduce if you follow the diet I proscribed. (I drink three or four litres of plain yoghurt myself every day; that is about ninety per cent of my diet.)
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
I do not eat red meat anymore
I have a hot meal once a week and then also eat a bit of meat. Also, when visiting my sister I have ham and eggs only for breakfast. According to my hypothesis it is not the meat that is at the root of the problem, but more likely any sauce and additives that have been added to it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
You are amazingly right on target here. I don't have anyone right now to take care of me.

It seems to me that the stroke caused damage to your ratio (the pretty sub). Your ratio and soul (the dominant) blame you (the ego) for not taking proper care of your body.

Have you become more dominant since the stroke?

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 8:08:17 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
I have Fibromyalgia
I am diabetic

I am not surprised by either.
If it is diabetes type two it may abate provided you loose weight. The fibromyalgia will disappear and the chance of any other strokes greatly reduce if you follow the diet I proscribed. (I drink three or four litres of plain yoghurt myself every day; that is about ninety per cent of my diet.)
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
I do not eat red meat anymore
I have a hot meal once a week and then also eat a bit of meat. Also, when visiting my sister I have ham and eggs only for breakfast. According to my hypothesis it is not the meat that is at the root of the problem, but more likely any sauce and additives that have been added to it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
You are amazingly right on target here. I don't have anyone right now to take care of me.

It seems to me that the stroke caused damage to your ratio (the pretty sub). Your ratio and soul (the dominant) blame you (the ego) for not taking proper care of your body.

Have you become more dominant since the stroke?


quote:

it may abate provided you loose weight. The fibromyalgia will disappear and the chance of any other strokes greatly reduce if you follow the diet I proscribed.

 
Rule,
I love the diet you have recommended, since I love yogurt! I am trying to lose weight, but the medicine that they have me on, causes weight gain :( That is the reason for the diet I am on now. I don't drink any soda's, no chips and nothing sweet. I have stabilized my weight, but I want to lose it, not just stabilize it.
 
quote:

I have ham and eggs only for breakfast
I don't eat ham. It is always so salty and I don't like salt all that much. 
quote:

It seems to me that the stroke caused damage to your ratio (the pretty sub). Your ratio and soul (the dominant) blame you (the ego) for not taking proper care of your body.
Damn you're good! lol The stroke caused much mmore damage than originally thought. I also had a brain aneurysm last year, which caused me to have short term memory loss as well as the blindness.
 
quote:

Have you become more dominant since the stroke?
I don't know about being more dominant, but I find that I follow through more with what I order and the consequences of them being ignored.
 
Thanks again Rule :)
 
MoGa


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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 8:12:46 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
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quote:

i wake up with a broken heart. or in a state of total abject horror and fear.


Aww domahpet! I understand. Those types of dreams are called "Waking Memories". They are terrifying.

Hugs,

MoGa


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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 8:43:39 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
I am trying to lose weight, but the medicine that they have me on, causes weight gain
I do not know what medicine that is, but I would recommend to stop using it, reducing the dose gradually. Keep to my diet, take plenty of plain vitamin c tablets and you will not be at risk of getting another stroke / aneurism; or at least the risk will be greatly reduced.
 
To loose weight take cold showers / baths in order to stimulate your thyroid gland to increase your metabolic rate. Also perform some dance several times each day: it is a fun way to exercise and thus loose weight.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
I don't eat ham. It is always so salty and I don't like salt all that much.
People need salt. Bake the ham or another slice of meat also and some of the salt will be taken up by the baking fat.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
Damn you're good!
I know. I have no peers. That is why all ought to choose to obey and attend to me.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
the blindness
I do not know about the blindness. It depends on what was damaged. The brain has the ability to reroute pathways, so given five or ten years, sight might perchance return.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
I find that I follow through more with what I order and the consequences of them being ignored.
Thank you for confirming my prediction.

< Message edited by Rule -- 4/17/2008 8:58:06 AM >

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 10:34:23 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		MoGa, reading your post made me... sigh. When all is not well our dreams will highlight our inner fears and vulnerability, and run rampant with them, as yours did. My boy and I have our spats, sometimes to the point we need space between us to calm down before addressing the problem, but we have a rule - never go to bed angry at one another.

What saddened me at one of your replies is that you said you had no friends, did you mean no friends in general, or no one you could have called up for fear of waking them up? If the latter, I'm sure any friend would have been only too happy to talk with you regardless of being awoken. My friends know they can call me at absolutely any time if they need me, even if it's in the wee hours.

We cannot help but gain a semblance of a person through these boards when we regularly interact with one another and you come across as a genuinely lovely lady. I hope any problems you may have had are soon remedied. Be kind to yourself.

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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 10:46:15 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		MMMM a dream with a cat fight in it... yummy.



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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 11:58:15 AM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline 		hey! i came to empathise, i didnt have the
dream last night!
but thankies for the hugs MoGa, youre so cool
*smooches*

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*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

*crystal*
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RE: My Nightmare - 4/17/2008 12:37:18 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Beats my dream about the penguin.

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