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LilMissHaven -> RE: Stepping out of my safety zone (4/15/2008 5:12:07 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: adoracat
i'm struggling not to cry after reading your post, haven.
if i were alone, i'd let loose, but ahh with wolf still home, he makes fun of me, you know?
yes, your post made sense. i went for 4 years so cold inside that i couldnt cry. the day i did finally thaw, i cried for 3 hours. and i had a very good male friend who did just as that dominant did for you, he held me and let me cry.
its a release MUCH different than a "scening" release, tears from pain, but one that is needed, nonetheless.
*hugs* i am glad to see you are keeping care of yourself.
kitten
Whats with all the tears?
I think if I ever have children I will let them cry and not make them feel ashamed. My dad is the ole blustery military type crying is for fools it doesn't solve anything so stop your blubbering girl. And so when I cry for any reason other then physical pain I feel like a fool.
The problem is a lot of things inspire me to cry so I spend half my life biting it back. Watching J suffer, watching a friend watch her child pass, the puppy so excited to see me that he trips over his own over eager wagging like mad tail, a new colt being born.
Eventually, it all piles up and takes you to the place you described where everything is black and cold and has no impact on you, I've been there once.
I've decided to fight shutting down and find a way to let it all go.
You inspire me because I know you have been there and survived, thanks for being my source of hope. (Don't you dare cry!!)
Haven
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