RE: How to ask a Sub without her topping from the bottom

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RE: How to ask a Sub without her topping from the bottom

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RE: How to ask a Sub without her topping from the bottom - 10/13/2005 6:27:19 AM

Padriag

Posts: 700
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: NC, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelMI

I have a question that might be concidered the flip-side of this question. How does a submissive bring up things they are interested in without it seeming like they are topping from the bottom?

Fair enough... ask. Just cause you ask does not guarantee the desired result, but there's no harm in asking. To me its just another form of feedback, information about what the submissive responds to. My first response to a request might be more questions to get at what the submissive enjoys about a particular fetish or play form, once I understand that, I may very well give it a try just to see how a submissive responceds. But I'll also add my own unique and creative twists and ideas to it, my own style and my own variations. If its something I enjoy doing, great, if not... next. But just because a slave or submissive requests something does not make a me as a dominant feel obligated to oblige.

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RE: How to ask a Sub without her topping from the bottom - 10/16/2005 3:16:09 PM

TheChastiser

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Joined: 10/16/2005
From: Hemel Hempstead
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simply, ask. in fact ask, with an additional instruction added. ask, with instruction to be detailed, with nothing hidden. this gets past the bits that arent talked about due to embaressment etc.

in D/s rels, i feel a time out is an opportune thing to have, where questions can be asked without pain of pain(grin).

communications is not about who is topping who really, how can a sub/slave know how to please if she/he doesnt ask? details are important, and no matter how observant someone is, a question nails sommat down. i find a timely instruction regarding questions works. ask if there are any? that way it comes from you initially.

Mike

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RE: How to ask a Sub without her topping from the bottom - 11/2/2005 11:15:21 PM

Jacques1000

Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
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I absolutely agree with Oside Girl and this pretty much sums up my approach.

Dom and sub, need not be rigid, black and white delineations......there are many shades...

(in reply to OsideGirl)

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Post #: 43