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Patience - 4/12/2008 5:30:31 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		What part does patience play in a kink-relationship?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots
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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 5:32:09 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Is this where I say "Wait for the answer"?

It has the same place it has in any relationship- sometimes it's best to wait for things, to be patient and allow them to come to you in good time and place.

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 5:43:45 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Is this where I say "Wait for the answer"?




quote:

It has the same place it has in any relationship- sometimes it's best to wait for things, to be patient and allow them to come to you in good time and place.


True.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 5:51:11 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Huge amounts for us. He had a lot more experience than I did as well as more knowledge and interests. If he hadn't been patient enough to allow me to learn at my own rate, then we wouldn't be compatible. I couldn't have gone from total newbie to edge player in two weeks. Hell I'm nowhere near edgy now. I do the best I can do, but at a pace I can handle which is usually slower than his. Thankfully, he knows I'll get there at some point and so isn't pushing me all the time. Because I couldn't handle that.

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 5:53:59 PM   
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Status: offline 		Thank you both for the answers; Celeste, does his patience give you...... confidence, maybe, in yourself? In the relationship succeeding?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:07:22 PM   
catize


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
What part does patience play in a kink-relationship?


When I was new I went through the proverbial sub-frenzy thing.  I wanted experience, more experience, right now if not yesterday!  When dominants would ask what I was looking for I always answered ‘experience!’ 
Of course this led to some very bad things happening to me until I took a step back and redefined that I wanted good encounters.  I realized the times that the dominant was patient and took my inexperience into consideration were the events that had a more positive outcome.  The ones who overwhelmed me sent me running.  The ones who left me wanting more kept me coming back.


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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:10:18 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

What part does patience play in a kink-relationship?


Patience is a quality that is useful regardless of the relationship type... however, it not useful in every situation.

I might have patience and gladly wait for the Dentist to finish with his other appointments.. hell.. I might even let others go ahead of me being the patient sort of guy I am...

But... I am not going to be patient Christmas morning opening my presents... HELL NO.. get out of my way!!!!

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:18:37 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
What part does patience play in a kink-relationship?


When I was new I went through the proverbial sub-frenzy thing.  I wanted experience, more experience, right now if not yesterday!  When dominants would ask what I was looking for I always answered ‘experience!’ 
Of course this led to some very bad things happening to me until I took a step back and redefined that I wanted good encounters.  I realized the times that the dominant was patient and took my inexperience into consideration were the events that had a more positive outcome.  The ones who overwhelmed me sent me running.  The ones who left me wanting more kept me coming back.



Hi catize, and thank you. So, patience comes into play on both sides.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:19:53 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

What part does patience play in a kink-relationship?


Patience is a quality that is useful regardless of the relationship type... however, it not useful in every situation.

I might have patience and gladly wait for the Dentist to finish with his other appointments.. hell.. I might even let others go ahead of me being the patient sort of guy I am...

But... I am not going to be patient Christmas morning opening my presents... HELL NO.. get out of my way!!!!


Well, what if the dentist promises to give you a present? Huh, then what ya gonna do?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:21:55 PM   
kyraofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Well, what if the dentist promises to give you a present? Huh, then what ya gonna do?


Is she hot?  The dentist, I mean....  *g*

on edit....  I do know that being in my current relationship has helped improve my patience.  I think it is a by product of having to do his will.  There are times that I have to exercise patience and wait to learn what his will is.

Knight's Kyra

< Message edited by kyraofMists -- 4/12/2008 6:23:30 PM >

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:23:34 PM   
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Status: offline 		kyra, surely that wouldn't affect his thinking........

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:26:14 PM   
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Status: offline 		And thinking of you guys situation, surely patience played a part in working towards moving to be with him, from all of you.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:33:40 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Most definitey.  It is extremely powerless feeling to know that some unknown person has such sway over my life and learning to manage the stress that comes with governmental red tape...  that takes patience. 

Of course my new boss has remarked several times that I remain "so calm" despite how stressful things get in the office.  That is a result of developing the skill of patience.

And yeah... whether she is hot or not makes just a tiny bit of difference...  you know on the scale that the Grande Canyon is tiny compared to the Earth  *g*



_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:34:46 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

kyra, surely that wouldn't affect his thinking........


NOPE.. .wouldn't affect my thinking hardly that all.... (I am always thinking about hot women)...

But it will affect my actions!!!! *grin*

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:41:24 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		For me, I am patient when waiting for a slave to surrender to me. They understand that the depth of the relationship is in direct proportion to how much they surrender. But, people most often simply cannot surrender everything at once. So, I wait. Right now, I have someone in my life who I've been waiting on for years. I'll wait for however long it takes because I feel a spiritually calling to do so. It doesn't mean that I don't move on and have other relationships...it means that there will be a place for him when he is ready.

Master Fire


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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:41:45 PM   
adrian28


Posts: 833
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Status: offline 		The fact that our ability to reason is what sets us apart from animals is why patience is so important. What would the world be like if we all acted on just emotions and instinct? Remember, slow and steady wins the race.

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:44:02 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
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From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Patience.I had thought I was an impatient person but so much of our balance hinges on it. Being his has required patience and trust which for me tend to go hand in hand. I have to trust that my patience will be rewarded, I have to know that I will be seeing him and eventually moving to his area. Sometimes patience is required in smaller things, things that I want to do and do now but he tells me to wait. Usually it is something that will tax me and he wants me to wait, I have to trust that he knows what is best for me and stifle my impulse to go do 'whatever'. For a long time I would feel a big angry or resentful having to wait. I don't know if it is something I've just adjusted to, but waiting for most things is a lot easier. I'm not sure if this is the type of answer you're looking for..but it's what I have. 

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 6:54:18 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
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Status: offline 		I'm a very impatient person in general.  I want matters solved asap, I hate waiting for anything, and yep, I rip into my Christmas and birthday presents first thing.  But I'm finding that my impatience doesn't work well in our relationship.  The quick conclusions that I came to in other matters don't work with us because a lot of the things that I'm learning and growing into require careful thought and processing.  Sometimes my first conclusion isn't the one I stick with in the long run.  And my impulsiveness has led to a few bumps in the road for us.

Fortunately Master has oodles of patience and I'm learning from how he interacts with me for ways to take a step back and breathe before acting.  And he does understand that we're building a relationship and is patient enough to let me step forward at a pace which is comfortable for me.  Which helps us greatly. 

And, oh yeah, with the kinky stuff ... I'm also learning how to be patient there, which has greatly increased my pleasure, which is one hell of a payoff!    The quickie "O" isn't always the best one! 

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 7:12:41 PM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline 		Patience plays in every relationship kink or not everyone needs patience. I can see what you are saying though patience plays alot in D/s because it takes time to get to know and trust your partner and what they can and can't handle.

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"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

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RE: Patience - 4/12/2008 7:50:23 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

For me, I am patient when waiting for a slave to surrender to me. They understand that the depth of the relationship is in direct proportion to how much they surrender. But, people most often simply cannot surrender everything at once. So, I wait. Right now, I have someone in my life who I've been waiting on for years. I'll wait for however long it takes because I feel a spiritually calling to do so. It doesn't mean that I don't move on and have other relationships...it means that there will be a place for him when he is ready.

Master Fire



Do you love that person? "Spiritually", how?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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