RE: Somebody broke Him!!

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Hippiekinkster -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/8/2008 3:43:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gemini1766 quote: ORIGINAL: mons yes i had someone who was broken on his first meeting with a domme she tight him and he is no small man but she had him tighten so that he could not get away she put on a strapon and rape him i must say i never seen a man more frighten and so scare. she made him so scare i could not get him the way he wish to be a slave. i had to leave him we did talk for a long time i help him over some thing but she was not a true domme a true domme does not abuse a first timer who is a virgin he said she hurt him so bad he was scare to move for a long time ladies a slave will let you do many things. but lord do not break him so that he is not good for the next domme!!!!!!! mons i hope you work this out take time and oh i know he will be worth it My brain hurts reading this. I understand what it says, but ouch my brain.[sm=sigh.gif] This whole Joycean "Stream of Consciousness" thing has gone entirely too far. Hell, even Yoko Ono used punctuation. Sort of.

Justme696 -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/8/2008 3:56:15 AM)
I can only say if you enjopy talking..keep talking..and mention the subjects in your mind. Be patient...if you can. Else you need to move on. It is very nice if you have problems that some one takes time instead of wanting something else. he neds your support..and propably in tiem it will be ok. ( I wonder though why your friends tell him not to be allowed having sex. Isn't that up to you? Did that scare him? Or did I misread?)

DesFIP -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/8/2008 4:28:34 AM)
He claims to be dominant but has no interest in dominating you. He claims to be sexual but is allowing someone else to decide when he can or can't have sex. He claims to want to change things but refuses to find a therapist to facilitate said changes. Kalista, how long do you propose to wait? Because he isn't doing anything that will help change the situation, in fact he's refusing to. Six months? Six years? Because unless he takes action to change the situation you'll still be in the same boat six years from now, is my best bet.

beargonewild -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/8/2008 11:32:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalista07 Truth be told i've been very weary about asking for help here. However, i guess i'm not sure what else to do at this point. 9 months ago i met a man through CM, and we started seeing each other. Because of some "traumatic" things that had happened shortly before we met, He was told by my friends that we would not be permitted to have sex. That seemed to be okay with Him. Actually, one of the things that He continued to tell me in the beginning was He wasn't going to have sex with me until i was convinced i'm a good person and i can see my worth...Okay, well we've accomplished that and still no sex... i could live without the sex, trust me...... The thing is however, there's also no D/s and no M/s. We've been talking about it a lot lately, and He wants this as much (if not more) than i do, but He's just not able to do it. We've talked about Him going to counseling, but frankly we don't live in that large of an area where You could actually say to someone, "i want to beat my girlfriend (SLAVE!!) and i can't seem to do it". So, He hasn't done that. Being on the outside of His issues i see and understand where they are coming from. He's had some past negative experiences with sex and relationships......It's almost as if He was broken during His last relationship and can't find a way to put Himself back together. Has anyone here ever been through something similar? Does anyone have any encouragement? Thanks, Kali Kali - how I see this is you have invested a fair amount of time into this guy and the relationship and by all accounts it is proving to be worthwhile. Yes you both have hit a rough spot that this happens in all relationships, d/s based or vanilla. Granted it is easier to call it quits and walk away but I think this is a case where it is more prudent to stand by him, help him rebuild himself into the person he wants to be for himself and for you. The d/s and m/s dynamic will evolve at it's own pace when it is meant to happen! Don't forget that underneath all the kink, this is still a relationship between two people, the domination, submission, kink etc is just an added bonus.

Kalista07 -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/9/2008 2:13:47 AM)
Thanks everyone for Your comments. They have given me a great deal to think about.

beargonewild -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/9/2008 7:17:51 AM)
Your welcome Kali. However it turns out I hope it works for the best for you!

Kalista07 -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/14/2008 2:23:18 PM)
i'm sorry to have become one of those people who revives old and dead threads, but i've not been able to stop thinking about some of the comments on this one. i feel like i must defend Him, which is inaccurate, as i understand no one here is attacking Him. However, i'm not ready to walk away. Bottom line is i'm in this for the long haul, he has never threatened to bail on my and i don't think i would like the kind of person i would be if i did the same to Him. The reason we started off so 'carefully' is because in my brilliance i allowed myself to be put in a situation where i was brutally raped, beaten, and assualted by a JAMF that i met through this website. We met just a month after that incident. In no way was i ready for a 'real' relationship. Having been staying with Him for the past three months, however, i can tell You that as a result of my interaction with Him i've changed and grown so much. i actually see and believe i have value and worth. i believe i deserve good things in my life. i don't know if this makes any sense or not..... Sorry if this was pointless, Kali

Mugiwara -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/14/2008 4:56:33 PM)
I suggest communicating with him yourself instead of having your friends do it. It's your relationship, but your friends told him no sex? If you want him to be with you fully, then perhaps your friends shouldn't be doing your talking for you. I hope they aren't still your mouth piece. I probably couldn't give all of myself to someone who couldn't talk for themselves. All that aside, I like the Henry Miller quote.

Kalista07 -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/14/2008 5:44:32 PM)
quote: I suggest communicating with him yourself instead of having your friends do it. It's your relationship, but your friends told him no sex? If you want him to be with you fully, then perhaps your friends shouldn't be doing your talking for you. Not that i feel the need to justify myself or my actions here, however here was the deal. i was going to drive three hours to meet Him. The last time i had met anyone from this site ended in me being raped, beaten, assaulted, and having to call the cops to break me out of His house. It was the first, last, and only time my friends had any input on Our relationship. Kali

MzHard -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/14/2008 10:55:25 PM)
RUN just get the fk out now before you've been emotionally run down someone starts out a relationship and 'cant handle' etc get out

Kalista07 -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/15/2008 1:46:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzHard RUN just get the fk out now before you've been emotionally run down someone starts out a relationship and 'cant handle' etc get out No offense, but i'm not sure how You can think i get 'emotionally run down' out of anything i've posted. The next to last thing this man would ever do to me is to tear me down emotionally. The last being to cheat on me. Kali

Hisgirlonly -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/15/2008 9:29:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalista07 Truth be told i've been very weary about asking for help here. However, i guess i'm not sure what else to do at this point. 9 months ago i met a man through CM, and we started seeing each other. Because of some "traumatic" things that had happened shortly before we met, He was told by my friends that we would not be permitted to have sex. That seemed to be okay with Him. Actually, one of the things that He continued to tell me in the beginning was He wasn't going to have sex with me until i was convinced i'm a good person and i can see my worth...Okay, well we've accomplished that and still no sex... i could live without the sex, trust me...... The thing is however, there's also no D/s and no M/s. We've been talking about it a lot lately, and He wants this as much (if not more) than i do, but He's just not able to do it. We've talked about Him going to counseling, but frankly we don't live in that large of an area where You could actually say to someone, "i want to beat my girlfriend (SLAVE!!) and i can't seem to do it". So, He hasn't done that. Being on the outside of His issues i see and understand where they are coming from. He's had some past negative experiences with sex and relationships......It's almost as if He was broken during His last relationship and can't find a way to put Himself back together. Has anyone here ever been through something similar? Does anyone have any encouragement? Thanks, Kali Aw, sweetie! i wished i had my degree in counseling but i've only taken a course in it for my degree plan or i'd try it :-( lots of love and prayers going your way from me!!! --Hisgirlonly

emmanim -> RE: Somebody broke Him!! (4/15/2008 9:51:14 PM)
I am happy to hear that you all are working things out. Relationships are difficult but it is obvious that you both mean something special to eachother. Keep Talking and i think that Michael's advice was sound. I hope you both have found someone to talk to.

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