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Stephann -> RE: slave vs sub (3/31/2008 8:46:21 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: slaveintraning
Would like to know what other think when someone is new (like me), and I call myself a slave, or do I need the time put into it, then call myself a slave? Just wonding what people think
When an unowned person tells me they are a slave, I don't immediately expect some sort of proof. My immediate thought is more along the lines of "this is a person who believes they wish to be owned." It's not too different from a teenager saying they want to become a doctor or lawyer: professions that require a great deal of time and training before they can actually practice their vocation. I don't assume just because they haven't learned surgery or passed the bar, that they shouldn't approach their lives as if they were going to be doctors or lawyers. Indeed, the best way to actually finish all the training required, is to act as if they were already going to become such.
I would only say to be wary of using the statement "I am a slave" as a means of defining yourself, if you're not sure that's what you really want. It can greatly help you in finding a dominant partner, but should you become collared and find yourself miserable two months ago, saying "I'm supposed to be happy because I wanted to be a slave" can be dangerous. It's not too dissimilar to someone who spends twelve years learning to become a doctor, only to find that they actually hate practicing medicine. In short, be prepared to determine if you enjoy being a slave, for what it actually is.
quote:
ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
There are three common types of slaves.
People brand new to scene who want to be slaves to prove/believe/dream they are doing the most extreme sort of stuff and led by nitwits. Harmless but irritating. Some never move beyond this stage and simply proclaim louder and louder how much more slavish they are than another. Highly irritating.
People who are so pathetic they don't have much to offer, never had much of an opinion of themselves, insecure, weak, sort of like a dog and it takes as much effort to win one and control one as it does to train a dog to wag its tail. This is the most common form.
Then there is the strong willed and intelligent person who could be anything they chose and often have been. Often, but not always, have been on both sides of the whip and or are seldom submissive to others. These to me are the "real" slaves or at least the only ones I have respect for. These sorts of slaves are made by the unique interaction of an individual dominant with their particular submissive/s. In short, one person's slave is rarely another's.
Morning Michael,
I don't think one need have confidence to be a slave. I agree, people who latch onto any concept because they are simply unhappy with their lives can be.... frustrating. Yet there are dysfunctional people in all walks of life, and they have the same right to engage in relationships (healthy or otherwise) as everyone else.
I often picture this angry bitter woman I had to deal with at Wal Mart once some years ago. She was large, unfriendly, and did everything she could to make others around her just as angry as she was. I left the store equally pissed off. Later that night, I thought about what sort of guy would actually want to be with her. I eventually figured ou that whatever had crawled up in her cooze and died, she was still a person with feelings, dreams, goals, and what not. I didn't have to like her, agree with her, or even give her the time of day to realize that she had the same right to be happy (or miserable) if she wishes as I do. If that bloated mass of deadfish carcass wants to be a slave, it doesn't bother or hurt me; but I certainly don't have to be her buddy, or foul my leather with her stink.
Stephan
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