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Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 6:48:19 AM

mistoferin

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Two questions. If your dominant tells you in the morning that he plans on scening with you that night, do you work on getting yourself mentally prepared throughout the day? If you do, what do you do with that mental energy if for one reason or another your play doesn't get to happen....someone drops by, one of you doesn't feel well, something else comes up that needs your attention, etc.?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

Post #: 1

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 7:01:11 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

mist,
Not being on your side of the slash, I will offer this! safe it for the next time = life just happens.

CP

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 2

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 7:04:02 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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Oh I do.....was just wondering how others process it is all.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 3

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 7:07:46 AM

zet

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/14/2008
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Becouse He and i don't live together, He told me couple of days before (at least day before) if He plans on scening with me. My preparing start evning before with scurbing and hair remover and other beauty things. All this time i just think about Him and at the same time get mental prepared.

In the morning, when i dress up for Him, i normally start to feel exited and sexy. During day at office i feel how excitement (even some kind of fear) start to ticle my stomack and makes me nervousness.. Actually i haven't find out any disturbing thing during day, if some reason makes me thinking something else my mood gets back on track quite soon..

And so far we don't have total cancellation so i can't asver by experiense, but i can only image how angry i could be if something happends that cancell planed scening...

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 4

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 7:24:59 AM

OmegaG

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Joined: 10/23/2007
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Right now we live far enough away that we only see each other every other weekend, so there is a feeling that we have to make the weekends count. Usually I start preparing the week earlier, planning what I will pack and asking him if there is anything specific he wants brought.

The day that I travel I do spend extra time in the shower and such, and during our conversation that day he might plant seeds of ideas in my head so that I will be thinking, wondering what he's got planned.

Only once play was diminished as he wasn't feeling well, but rather then a complete abortion of play, he chose to engage in activities that would not physically stress him but still had an impact.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 5

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 8:12:02 AM

sadomasokisti

Posts: 221
Joined: 10/20/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Two questions. If your dominant tells you in the morning that he plans on scening with you that night, do you work on getting yourself mentally prepared throughout the day? If you do, what do you do with that mental energy if for one reason or another your play doesn't get to happen....someone drops by, one of you doesn't feel well, something else comes up that needs your attention, etc.?

Sometimes a scene is scheduled many days or a week in advance. My mental preparation starts sometimes two days before (even sooner). How I handle it if the play doesn't get to happen depends on many large and small things. How far since we last played together. The reason for the cancellation (some things are easier to handle than other). If it's a last minute cancellation or not. If there is a other play scheduled immediately instead etc.

Sometimes I have no problems but more often when this happen I experience a nasty sub drop.

_____________________________

Pain is good. Extreme pain is extremely good

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 6

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 8:24:37 AM

Willowmoon

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Joined: 9/25/2007
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If play doesn't happen and I have spent time mentally preparing myself i then tend to channel that energy in to some sort of writing for Master instead. Its not the same as playing but it helps a little. Sometimes I have been known to be so dissapointed that I will cry a little bit, Master understands that this is just part of me and that I don't tend to take dissapoint well so he just holds me until I get it out of my system because of this he also tends not to tell me when he has something planned until very soon before he intends to play with me.

Willowmoon

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 7

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 8:33:57 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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That actualy happens on both sides of the slash, as CelticPrince put it.
I have had playtime sidetracked going out to Angel's several times. He cant always tolerate being touched, his body reacts badly, and no matter how much eitehr of us want it, the reactions wont allow. So, he and I both spent the day or two days (when we know we are going to get a long day together) planning. When this does happen I tend to talk to him about what I had planned to do. I lay out the scene, and promise him we will get to it next time I have him to myself for a few hours. Its frusterating, because most of the time our sidetracks dont come from anything outside unavoidable. Someone stopping by, something coming up... those we can handle easily becasue we have something else to think about than the ruined scene. However, when you both really want to play and everything you were looking forward to is turning painful rather than pleaurful... you grin and bear it and take a raincheck

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Willowmoon)

Post #: 8

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 8:42:44 AM

chamberqueen

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Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

It is said that most enjoyment of a situation is in the anticipation. Think of standing in line for an hour for a 3 minute roller coaster ride. : )

You can try to protect yourself by assuming that something could go wrong and holding back, but you would miss out on a lot. Yes, it hurts when things don't go as planned but at least you had the hours of joyful anticipation that you can be happy for. Sometimes the communication after a missed appointment can actually make the relationship stronger.

_____________________________

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 9

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 9:48:13 AM

Daddyslilpookie

Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
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Play is scheduled in advanced as well because Daddy and I have a child and have to get a babysitter for the day or evening. As for something coming up to cancel playtime I would be very dissapointed

. Master and I do not get playtime often so i have to wait patiently and when it does happen it is wonderful

.

_____________________________

Princess Andie

"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 10

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 9:49:02 AM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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Yes, I do get really into it all day, looking forward to it, wondering what he will do.... By the end of the day I'm pretty excited. When things happen, well they happen. I let him know that I was really looking forward it and usually blow off my steam in a first person shooter.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 11

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 10:05:15 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Well, since we live together, usually it's a real life interruption. So we just put the energy into handling the problem.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 12

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 10:14:08 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

mist,
Not being on your side of the slash, I will offer this! safe it for the next time = life just happens.

CP

It's really all you can do.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 13

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 10:28:56 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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In many ways, we have some form of light play on a daily basis. Sex is rarely had without some form of play and we have sex almost every day. Often he just inflicts pain in some way throughout the day; it could be griping, pressure points, biting, flicking nipples or testing out a toy while working on putting the dugeon together. Because of this I generally always have a low level anticipation of play. It also helps to keep the edge off of the desire to play.

We are required to make every effort to keep our minds in a state that is ready for play, but play that lasts hours is rare for us and generally only happens at events due to the current state of our dungeon. Even then though I do not expect play and he will rarely tell us when we are going to play.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 14

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 10:44:45 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

In many ways, we have some form of light play on a daily basis. Sex is rarely had without some form of play and we have sex almost every day. Often he just inflicts pain in some way throughout the day; it could be griping, pressure points, biting, flicking nipples or testing out a toy while working on putting the dugeon together. Because of this I generally always have a low level anticipation of play. It also helps to keep the edge off of the desire to play.

We are required to make every effort to keep our minds in a state that is ready for play, but play that lasts hours is rare for us and generally only happens at events due to the current state of our dungeon. Even then though I do not expect play and he will rarely tell us when we are going to play.

Knight's Kyra

I'm going to sit on Kyra's couch with this one. I'm rarely told that we're going to play. Most of the time I have about 2 seconds of warning which is when he grabs my hair and drags me over to the horse or bondage table or something. I think part of that has to do with the fact that we live together as well. He has access to me 24 hours a day and when he gets in the mood, he just takes advantage of it.

There are, though, the times when he'll inform me that we're going to have a high protocol weekend or something and I do find myself getting both excited and nervous because his expectations are so different during those times. Then, something happens to change that and I do need to channel that excess energy. If it's just someone dropping by, no problem as we'll usually just postpone the plans until they leave then proceed with the weekend as planned. If Himself gets ill or something, then I clean. If I'm ill and he changes the plans because of it, well, my energy is probably going to be zapped away by my illness anyway.

It's probably different for those who have to travel for their play times with their partner than for those who share a household. Like the KoM household, play can happen for us anytime, so there's sort of an undercurrent of perpetual anticipation.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 15

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 10:50:40 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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~FR~
We handle whatever it is that comes up...but mentally i am cussing like a sailor.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 16

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 11:04:59 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

I don't mentally prepare for a session exept maybe the last 15 minutes before it starts. If at morning a play in the evening would be scheduled I wouldn't waste my entire day thinking about it or preparing for it, because being the person that is me... I usually build up some expectations that by default won't be met, if I dwell on it too much. If something unforseen happens then the play just gets postponed. No biggie....

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 17

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 11:50:00 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Viridana

I don't mentally prepare for a session exept maybe the last 15 minutes before it starts. If at morning a play in the evening would be scheduled I wouldn't waste my entire day thinking about it or preparing for it, because being the person that is me... I usually build up some expectations that by default won't be met, if I dwell on it too much.

yeah...asking him "So thats all there is, huh?" really doesn't go over too well.

(in reply to Viridana)

Post #: 18

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 4:04:53 PM

denika

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Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline

I usually get a few days notice if we are going to play privatly, that way we can take care of some of the incidentals like the UM and making sure neither of us are working that day. There is always a level of anticipation and excitement, I never know what's going to happen. If something comes up, we reschedule and we make diffrent plans. Life happens, we both have very unpredictible jobs but we are in this for the long run so there is another (I won't say always, Fate has a weird sense of humor so I won't temp it *s*) day.

I'm a very tachtile person so there is always physical contact of some form when we are together, pressure points are a bitch. lol.

Wolf's denika

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 19

RE: Planned play that gets sidetracked - 3/25/2008 4:25:56 PM

katie978

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Joined: 7/21/2007
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Logically, I just accept these annoyances as a part of life and try to ignore them.

Emotionally, I get grouchy as hell.

(in reply to denika)

Post #: 20

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