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surgery and family - 3/24/2008 6:39:53 AM   
mhawk


Posts: 509
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Washington
Status: offline 		i just found out a couple of things from my family this morning.one two levels that i'm trying to express my concern to my family is finding out my mom is going to be placed in a care facilty due to  progression of alzheimers and parkinsons stage 3 and also found out that my grandma is going in this month to have her breast removed due to cancer.

not sure why i thought to post this here but i know a few people i talk with here on occasion and just wanted to pass this on. just hoping the best for both of them.
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RE: surgery and family - 3/24/2008 6:42:28 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*hugs* I'll keep you all in my thoughts... I hope your grandma comes through ok.  And I know that alzhiemers is rough on the loved ones.. *hugs*

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RE: surgery and family - 3/24/2008 6:47:55 AM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		Geez that's a lot to take in all at once...there's nothing wrong with posting this stuff, support is support no matter where you find it..
 
hugs and mushy stuff,
 
Phoenix

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RE: surgery and family - 3/24/2008 6:48:17 AM   
mhawk


Posts: 509
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Washington
Status: offline 		thank you Greedy, i will keep up on posting and let you guys and gals know how it all turns out. *hugs*

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RE: surgery and family - 3/24/2008 6:49:39 AM   
carolsea


Posts: 185
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Will be thinking about you.  Hope all goes well!  Hugs.

:-)

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RE: surgery and family - 3/24/2008 7:07:40 AM   
mhawk


Posts: 509
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Washington
Status: offline 		thank you everyone.

i just got off the phone with my grandma.both my parents are going with her tommorow to the doctor to set everything up and they are going to stay with her for a couple of weeks to help her out.luckily they only live about an hour away so they can get there easily.she told me she's not too worried about it and realises the removal will be better at her age then radition would be.they will be contacting me in the next few days to let me know how it all goes with the surgery.

my dad has also volunteered to keep me informed about my mom as well so i know what is going on with her as well.

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RE: surgery and family - 3/24/2008 7:27:19 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		Hard news on both counts.  Prayers and bright blessings to you and yours.

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RE: surgery and family - 3/25/2008 11:48:12 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		mhawk,
I will give you the same advice I give everyone in this situation.  Leave nothing unsaid.
Tell them how much they mean to you.  Spend the time with them.  Find out all health concerns you have ever had in your family, because you may be facing the same later in life.

When my mother passed the first thing I needed to know was...mom did I ever have the chicken pox?  Well it was 2 week's after she was gone and I had no clue.  Luckily the doctor treated me as I hadn't had them.
Anyway, it's just food for thought. 

Get to know who they really are so you can share who they are with your children later in life.  Pass it on for generations. 

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RE: surgery and family - 3/25/2008 12:00:11 PM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		((((((BIG HUGS)))))) W/we're here for you whenver you want to vent or just chat. 

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RE: surgery and family - 3/26/2008 5:37:07 AM   
mhawk


Posts: 509
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Washington
Status: offline 		that's why i adore my family at times.although my son was adopted to a wonderful family a few years back(well 5) he had time around our family and he's still included in everything,might go see him this year. but thankfully both my mom and grandma have been seeing him on visits as well.

on my mom's side of the family we have very strong women.everyone but my cousin and  myself were raised on farms and my grandma's husband was a coal miner.they all know how to hold together pretty well.

i've made it a point the last couple of days to be in contact with everyone and let them know we are all(my Owners and such and even the support from folks here as well) thinking about them.

the surgery is tommorow so likely i will be waiting by the phone to see what happens and how things will go. i'll drop a post when i hear more.

thank you again so very much everyone

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RE: surgery and family - 3/26/2008 6:11:57 AM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		mhawk:
 
I am just about in your shoes.   I live with my 76 year old mother who has bad discs coupled with severe depression.  I am pretty sure she has manic states of anger.
My grandmother lives two houses down.  She is 95.  She is a pistol at 95, but she is ready to go.
All I can say to you is that is a hard thing to have to experience.  We all must do it.  I admire you for having care and concern for your folks.  Some leave.  That is a sad thing.
Now, your grandmother probably needs to be in a place that will love and provide for her.   It is very stressful for them to try and keep their homes.  That day will come for us I am afraid.
Your mother is a level 3.  That is high.  She needs special care that you are not going to be able to give her if you are working all the time.
I know I could not handle my mother.  I moved downstairs, and we are doing much better.  We were getting on each other's nerves.  
My friend, my prayers are with you.   Just see them as much as you can because one day they will be ready to go home.
 
Regards, MissSCD

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RE: surgery and family - 3/26/2008 7:20:13 AM   
mhawk


Posts: 509
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Washington
Status: offline 		thank you MissSCD,

that's the other reason my dad is highly considering a much smaller home for them.Luckily they live right behind a care facility that also has serveral small homes adjacent to the facility so if someone who is client isnt ready for going direct to the facility they can rent or purchase the home(which is also a few feet from my parents current home) and one of the assigned nurses will come in every day and have one on call at night time.my dad is even stopping drving for Enterprise so he can be home with her.

that's another reason why i am so glad that PA and KY aren't that far from eachother so if i do need to go for a visit it's not too much out of the way.

i didn't find out about the parkinsons until about a year ago.when i saw some of the effects i knew then things were going south real quick.i jst hate to see what it's done to her with both because she was a teacher most of her life.so she's always had a wealth of knowledge.it was quite the shock to see how much she once knew fade away.

what's also good about my grandmother is that she lives with uncle and has for years now.since i finshed high school there so at least 15 years now.He's also looking into a smaller home they can share and also looking into a caregiver for her as well to come by and help her with daily things as well.

my family does it's best to find alternatives to placing loved ones in facilities.so i definately think that's a good thing.

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RE: surgery and family - 3/26/2008 7:23:17 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		fr

Don't forget that when there is an illness there are more than one who need to heal. Take care of yourself.

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RE: surgery and family - 3/26/2008 7:33:59 AM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		my grandma had breast cancer surgery, she came thru it with flying colors and really recovered nicely.  we had many more years with her before she went to join my grandfather.  her sister had alzheimer's, so i have seen it's effect on people and their families.  the best you can do, as another poster said, don't leave anything unsaid.  a friend of mine is going through this right now, her mother is in her final hours, and their family is treating this as a time to express their love to her and each other.  don't leave any regrets, enjoy them while they are here and be glad you had that time to spend.  nobody is given any guarantees, who knows, any one of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow!  you are lucky, you have been given a sign that your time is possibly very limited with two people you love dearly.  some folks would have loved to have had that warning.
PM

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