How to channel anger ~ ! (Full Version)

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pahunkboy -> How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 5:34:00 AM)

Alrighty.   Some times- I tell myself -to get over it.  Other times I fume and fume and steam.

How do you trick yourself into diffusing anger....lets explore all the ways.



MissMorrigan -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 6:22:23 AM)

It depends where I am and what the situation is but rarely experience anger - just irritation usually.

If at work - I take a 'tea break', I'll go outside, get some fresh air for five minutes, deep breathe, think about something positive and then return with a calmer disposition and ability to deal with others rationally.

If in my own personal space at home - I'll put on my boxing gloves and expend a lot of energy either hitting my boy (he's my human punch bag but never to the point where he's hurt) or the walls/door, etc...

If, as occurred the other day when faced with a bully of a parent smacking her child b/c she felt 'tired', it's hard to keep one's anger in check, I try to diffuse the situation. I look at it this way... if I can't control mine, I'm damn well not in a position to talk to someone else about theirs. I can count the times I've lost my cool (not a pretty sight) on one hand in the 44 years I've been on this earth and three of those occasions were due to blind panic and in situations I had no control over, such as when three yobs decided they would have a little 'fun' with me late one night at a tube station in London and no one else was around. It's an anger I never want to experience again, but also glad it's there as it saved my life.

If, on occasions when there is an injustice I cannot change, either in my own life or someone else's (due to my work) I will go up to someone and give them a spontaneous hug, reminding myself it's okay to be frustrated at my limitations, and also how fortunate I am to have the life that I do, and blessed with the people in it that are (sounds syrupy, I know, but true). Then I go and sit quietly for five minutes, I focus hard on counting down from 300 to 0 (five minutes), by half way my breathing/pulse rate has slowed down - it's working! ;-)

If I found myself getting angry frequently I'd want to explore why this occurs, and take steps at removing it from my general temperament.



colouredin -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 6:30:25 AM)

Humm Only once that I can remember have I been really really uncontrobably angry, I stormed out the house in the hope that a brisk walk would help and violenty threw up out of stress then cried and then was fine.

I normally dont get that angry to be honest, nothing that leaving what I am doing and having a quick fag wont fix, I had a debate about the use of music recently. My friend plays loud angry shouty music when she is stressed saying that it calms her down (i dont agree that it does I think it winds her up more and almost excuses her slaming doors and the like, she gets herself into a worked up frenzy) If I feel really bad then I put on the oposite music to what I am thinking, somthing really stupidly happy, the spice girls or something and that helps a lot.



GreedyTop -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 6:35:13 AM)

I find a private place to rant and rave, or call a friend that is familiar with my ranting. It's usually over with in a few minutes.  I'm usually slow to anger and quick to let it go (must be the ADD..LOL)
If I'm HUGELY angered, I may kick furniture (the sudden pain is a good way to take the focus off the anger), or storm around until the energy dissipates..



MontrealPhoenix -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 6:42:49 AM)

Lately, i blog it out...just let it flow without worry about punctuation, spelling etc. The blog can always be deleted later...if you don't want to do it publically, just put it to paper...



LaTigresse -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 6:43:32 AM)

I rarely get really angry. Annoyed, pissy, frustrated, yes......but rarely angry.

When I do, physical activity. Cleaning, hiking, gardening, something that works off the steam and puts me in a better frame of mind to take an objective look at just WHY I was angry in the first place.




sub4hire -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 6:59:43 AM)

I've been angry 3 times in my life so far.  Truly angry that is.  The last time was almost 2 year's ago now.  I put my fist through the wall so I didn't put it through my sister in laws face.

That is how I handled it that time.  The last time..was when my brother in law pushed mom.  Well, it took 6 of them to pull me off of him that time.

Time before that I was 8 year's old and just so tired of my sister and her crap.  I hit her in the back...left a mark she carried the rest of her life.  She was 16 at the time.  After that, people knew they had to pull me off of someone.

So, how do I handle anger?  Not well.  However, I don't get angry often either, I can handle annoying people and things remarkably well. 
Unless they are someone who truly matters and unless they are attacking me personally, I just let it go.  I'm an analytical thinker and there is always a reason for others behavior.  We just don't understand it at the time. 



celticlord2112 -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 7:22:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

Alrighty.   Some times- I tell myself -to get over it.  Other times I fume and fume and steam.

How do you trick yourself into diffusing anger....lets explore all the ways.



There is no trick.  One must learn to be aware of one's emotions.  In any moment, simple mindfulness includes knowing what one's emotional state is.  Learning to recognize that one is angry is the first stept towards letting go of that anger and allowing rational thought to take center stage in guiding your choices.

Telling oneself to "get over it" is generally not productive, in my experience.  That path is a path of repression, a path of suppression.  It does not diminish the anger so much as it drives it underground, where it grows and takes on a strength all its own.

HH The Dalai Lama's book "The Art of Happiness" does a much better job of explaining this than I can.  I highly recommend it.



pahunkboy -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 7:31:44 AM)

--what triggered this was a sarcastic post on a yahoo group.

after a follow up profane post- by the same poster  I YMed her- to ask what was wrong. She had no clue.  He email was hacked.

a buddy had donated $15 every year to the policemans ball. well this year the caller insisted on $20-  would not take $15. so buddy was all mad and going to report it.   I said to let it go- it means nothing.

once when my car broke down- my pasenger said i dont know why you are worried- the worst has already happened.  lol



addisonclarkgirl -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 7:39:35 AM)

If I'm angry, I always take a break before reacting.  I sit down with my headphones on, music blaring loud, and color. (I am a Daddy's girl after all.)  After awhile, I look at the problem and ask myself whether or not this is 1)worth raising my blood pressure over, 2)worth being outwardly angry at the person who caused the anger, and 3) will the problem still be there in a week.  Usually the answer is no to all three, and so I can tell myself to relax, and maybe complain just a tad to my Daddy later :)



celticlord2112 -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 7:44:16 AM)

quote:

a buddy had donated $15 every year to the policemans ball. well this year the caller insisted on $20- would not take $15. so buddy was all mad and going to report it. I said to let it go- it means nothing.


I have found that when experiencing another person's anger, it is far more effective to simply ask them "why are you angry?"  By the time they finish answering the question, quite often I have observed they are no longer angry.



Pyrrsefanie -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 10:14:07 AM)

I troll forums.

[8D]



Gwynvyd -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 4:52:09 PM)

I try not to be angry... but some people just make me want to choke the ever living shit out of them.. not very Zen of me I know... but then.. I am not a saint. *smiles* Heck it is usualy a situation I am fustrated with.

If at home I blog on my website.. or write it out in my journal.. or call one of my buddies and talk about it. If it is something online I try to breathe a bit.. and think.. re-read it.. and think some more.

in public if I have an iced drink I will take an ice cube in my hand and let it melt in my hand.. focusing the anger into the melting ice.. letting it release with the water...

I cook something extravigant if it is something big that has been festering.. or sew.. or clean.. or work in the yard. ( when I had one..)

If I am pissed at someone close to me after I have clamed down with these meathods I go talk to them.

The telemarketer would have been told if my bloody $15 wasnt good enough they wouldnt be getting anything from me.. and $15 was better then nothing. I would have called the org. and gotten them fired. That is BS.

Gwyn



Griswold -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 6:43:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

Alrighty.   Some times- I tell myself -to get over it.  Other times I fume and fume and steam.

How do you trick yourself into diffusing anger....lets explore all the ways.



I'll kick your fucking ass.......

(Said, of course, in the most submissive of ways).



subtee -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 6:49:45 PM)

This is going to sound sarcastic but I mean it in earnest. Look at a tree. Seriously, look out the window of your car after some ass has cut you off or out the window in the office when a gigantic dick is trying to make you feel small...look at a tree. Try it. :)

[Edited to add: pull your car over to the side of the road first...and to pounce on CL]



celticlord2112 -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 6:52:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

This is going to sound sarcastic but I mean it in earnest. Look at a tree. Seriously, look out the window of your car after some ass has cut you off or out the window in the office when a gigantic dick is trying to make you feel small...look at a tree. Try it. :)




(Might want to pull over to the side of the road first....that whole eyes on the road while driving thing![8D])



CraZYWiLLiE -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 6:59:53 PM)

Go shooting !

awesome stress reliever



DrummerDom -> RE: How to channel anger ~ ! (3/24/2008 7:32:45 PM)

I'm a drummer.  Figure it out.

Occasionally, I'm confronted with a truly experienced ass-hat when there isn't a drumset to be found.  In times like those, my response varies by the situation, but follows a general set of high grounds by priority:

1) Come out on top.
2) maintain the moral high ground.
3) avoid the crotch.
4) Style and Subtlety.

i had a whole story typed out that demonstrates the above points...but I still haven't been here long enough to tell it.



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