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The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 3:09:41 PM   
subseeks1


Posts: 30
Joined: 3/12/2008
Status: offline 		WHY do people do this?
You went from being so attentive with phone calls & emails etc.
You meet, its been cool.......& either steadily or suddenly the contact lessens.
Its hard as hell seeing someone online that doesnt even pop up & say HI when they were practically up your a$$ before.
There were no angry women in BDSM communities before. They became angry after too many guys pulled the coward's cyber dump. Thats how angry Dommes are made? They used to be cheerful subs i think?
I know this happens to men too as well as women...its NOT gender specific. Ive heard the same bad stories about men that were crazy about women who fell off the earth after they met. Cell #s werent vaild anymore, emails came back, etc. Or they found out they were married.
The one thing that blows me away is that if you break up/stop seeing someone with A LITTLE CLASS, it may hurt for a bit..but you are more likely to have someone you will be able to chat with & bitch about your bad dates with in 6 mos or a yr when the sting is gone from it. You may even end up with a sex buddy.....as long as you didnt leave them hurt, confused &  angry with no closure on things.
Dont make up stories, thats insulting to anyone. Psssst Guys!!!Women arent as gullible as most men need/believe them to be.
Say so if you dont feel there is the type of connection you are seeking. Thats it in a nutshell any way isnt it? You do know with in the first 30 days if you wanna go further. Be considerate.
HOW would you feel if some treated your daughter that way?
Guess what? We are ALL someone's daughter's and sisters & someone feels about us the way you do about your kid. Think of it that way before you act with out thought.
Everyones life gets pocket of busy-ness that it seems like it all hits at once & you end up letting a connection go with someone you met. Try & explain that & they will understand you know? Life happens to all of us.
I dont talk to any one that has done that to me in the wonderful world of online dating & intros. But i realized today how many people i still talk to & joke with that did have the stones to be considerate on break up.
Whats your take on the whole thing??
vent vent rant rant

< Message edited by subseeks1 -- 3/23/2008 3:43:53 PM >

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RE: The screaming SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 3:12:36 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Because it's easier.

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RE: The screaming SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 3:13:16 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		I used to do this when I was very young: I dumped two men with the silence treatment. Dumping this way stems from youthful insecurity and fear: it's easier to not say anything rather than risk having a full-blown breakup scene.

It's egotistical and selfish, but what can we do? People are people, so...

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RE: The screaming SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 3:20:11 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		It's particularly ironic when the person doing it preaches transparency to others but doesn't have the balls to be transparent with you.

Cali


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RE: The screaming SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 3:40:58 PM   
subseeks1


Posts: 30
Joined: 3/12/2008
Status: offline 		That was what i voice mailed to them too. For someone that preached integrity & honor & honesty, they sure acted like they had no honor.
Yes it is easier than a big break up scene? If you knew me as well as you think, i dont do drama like that. I will be miserable at home & just because every other woman in your life acted like that, dont dump that label on me.
Most of us dont go in to evil sub mode (for long) & wish that your pecker falls off.......or that God hits you with lightening.
Most of us arent that connected i guess.
But we do hope that every time you meet another psyco date from hell online ....you miss us a little

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

It's particularly ironic when the person doing it preaches transparency to others but doesn't have the balls to be transparent with you.

Cali



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"Dont make someone a priority in your life that has only made you an option in theirs." ~~Maya Angelou~~

"Whatever you are, be a good one" ~~Mark Twain~~

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RE: The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 4:11:25 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Whats your take on the whole thing??


It's easier for them to dump relationships this way.  Perhaps they've tried a kinder, gentler break-up in the past and were stalked by some crazy submissive.  Always try to view it from the other person's side.  Or perhaps, they are a coward.


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RE: The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 4:30:34 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subseeks1

There were no angry women in BDSM communities before. They became angry after too many guys pulled the coward's cyber dump. Thats how angry Dommes are made? They used to be cheerful subs i think?
I know this happens to men too as well as women...its NOT gender specific.


Does that mean everyone was happy? At least, not angry?
 
Yeah, it sucks. But what are you going to do? Seriously?

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 4:33:57 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		Looks like the smart move to me -- he saved himself from having to listen to whining shit like this.


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RE: The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 5:03:35 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		Guys learn at an extremely early age:

If you tell a girl "it's me...honestly, it's not you"....we'll get our asses (emotionally) kicked, and we'll have to deal with 6 more weeks of discussion about it.

If you tell a girl "it's you...honestly...it's not me"....we'll get our asses (emotionally) kicked (and we'll have to deal with 6 more weeks of discussion about it).

There is no way to break up with someone that isn't painful to one or more sides, and most men over time, learn to do it in a way that is self deprecating...(and yet...we still get our asses emotionally kicked...and we'll STILL have to deal with 6 more weeks of discussion about it).

However, closing all doors, and leaving the other side with nothing but air....that's a cowards way out.

Or else he was married.

(I suspect all the above is even more awkward or painful in this lifestyle).

< Message edited by Griswold -- 3/23/2008 5:14:03 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 5:48:51 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Hmmm.  So only women (at least me anyway), have enough "balls" to do this without just fading away? When I knew it was over, I called him and told him the reasons that it wasn't going to work for me. He tried to argue my reasons with me (yeah, like that'll work).  When he started falling apart, I told him I needed to end the call and hung up.  When he sent me whining emails, I just let them sit for a couple of weeks before I responded, telling him I wished him well.

Geez, how hard is this, people??

Cali

Edited to add:  No, this isn't about my last relationship.

< Message edited by CalifChick -- 3/23/2008 5:53:58 PM >

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Griswold)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 6:19:39 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		My take at my advanced age of 98 is this.
 
You live and you learn, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and enjoy your life.

Think of it this way, you were spared putting in months with this loser!

I rather weed out the bad apples "quickly" at this stage in my life.
Who wants to put in months or years and THEN find out their mate is a loser?

Smile and consider yourself LUCKY, you were rid of him so quickly!
It is his loss, because you are marvelous.
Happy Easter!


< Message edited by MzMia -- 3/23/2008 6:23:43 PM >

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Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


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"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to subseeks1)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 9:13:02 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

Looks like the smart move to me -- he saved himself from having to listen to whining shit like this.

Pretty much what I was thinking.

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RE: The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 9:30:13 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Whats your take on the whole thing??


It's easier for them to dump relationships this way.  Perhaps they've tried a kinder, gentler break-up in the past and were stalked by some crazy submissive.  Always try to view it from the other person's side.  Or perhaps, they are a coward.



had this happen to me years ago.  it was cowardice.  he couldn't be man enough to admit he had found someone he wanted to be with more than me.  small revenge, he's been sorry ever since, and i have had nothing to do with it. 
PM

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 10:45:45 PM   
Kirren


Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline 		I just typed a shit load of stuff...but at the crux of it, I think I may have the solution....

How sure are you that he wasnt married?



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Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name


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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 10:52:12 PM   
angelbluewingsz


Posts: 324
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline 		the reality is people suck. Everyone has sucked at something at least once. maybe you suck at picking partners, maybe they suck at common curtesy - I myself suck at spelling. I find it much easier to just accept that everything sucks and go get a piece of ass from the nearest person with a pulse- that always makes me feel better :)

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/23/2008 11:18:11 PM   
mzbehavin


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline 		I think its all the same guy. He comes on, comes in, gets comfy, sends pics, maybe phone, rarely cam, actually ignites hope that maybe this time its real~ then he goes.
He may come back again to tell you how scared he was to love and how much he loves you. Then Gone* into the GreatNothing. Deleted profile, closed matching hotmail and yahoo accounts.
Hes like a Serielcyberleaver. He can be 100 places or any gender at any given time. He/she wears a mask...Yep... same guy... nods yes alot*
ps.
The Governments in on it too...  

(in reply to subseeks1)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The SCRTEAMING SILENCE break up - 3/24/2008 7:44:05 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Because all too often the dumped one doesn't respond with a little class, they go off in tirades and screaming rants.

And no, dommes are not made because a sub gets dumped.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 17
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