To shush or not to shush?

Join Our Community

As the Collar Turns:

Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home Login Event Calendars Search

Espanol

Deutsch

Francais

Italiano

Portugues

To shush or not to shush?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> To shush or not to shush?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:01:01 PM

Awakener

Posts: 88
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline

I was invited to watch a scene this afternoon, and as I did, I noticed something. And I am very curious to see how others might feel about this.
The couple have not been togethor long. It is a male Dom and Female sub. As her Master did some of the more delicious things to her,she would begin to cry out. Everytime she started to, he would shush her. Eventually as I watched, I realized I could see on her masters face, that her cries inhibited him. Made him hold back, and that this was the reason he would not allow her to vocalize.
I am the exact opposite of this. The more vocal I can get her the better. Hearing her cry out simply makes me hungrier, rather than intimidateing me.
I do seem to be in the minority though. For many whom I have talked with and much I have witnessed seems to prove that Silence is golden.
I had often thought this was simply a practicul concern, as the nieghbors might not complain about a women moaning loudy in obvious pleasure, but might call the cops if they hear her screaming and whimpering.
So am I in the minority, and if so why. Is it practicul or does it inhibit??

Post #: 1

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:08:24 PM

WickedKev

Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline

To each thier own, I like them being vocal, that is of course until they are flying in subspace. But if he finds that her vocalization breaks his concentration then he is right to shush her.

(in reply to Awakener)

Post #: 2

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:08:33 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

*shrug*
It is not at all uncommon for people to have difficulty coming to terms with their sadism, even if they intellectually know it's fine. This is especially true for newbies.

It is not at all uncommon for dominants to train their subs to be stoic during beatings, in fact it's almost mainstream in the UK. It's just a matter of preference of style and attitude.

(in reply to Awakener)

Post #: 3

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:14:25 PM

WickedKev

Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

t is not at all uncommon for dominants to train their subs to be stoic during beatings, in fact it's almost mainstream in the UK.

Sorry but where do you get this from? I have been to lots of clubs and play parties on both sides of the atlantic and one of the things we have in common, is the amount of moans and cries coming from the subs/slaves

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 4

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:23:05 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedKev
Sorry but where do you get this from? I have been to lots of clubs and play parties on both sides of the atlantic and one of the things we have in common, is the amount of moans and cries coming from the subs/slaves

From living in Ireland and being part of the scene there for 6 months. No, I wasn't in the UK part of Ireland, but many people who came to the events were and we had many discussions. As well I have many friends who formerly lived in the UK or who still live there.

(in reply to WickedKev)

Post #: 5

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:26:21 PM

Awakener

Posts: 88
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline

In the US as well. Most do seem to prefer stoic silence. But Why???? to each is own just is not satisfying.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 6

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 4:59:52 PM

RainGod

Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline

Personally, the loud cries are part of it to Me. I want it. I need it. The experience just isn't the same.

Kinda like... who would go buy a 1963 split-window Corvette and install a very quiet muffler system on it? The sound is part of the ride....

(in reply to Awakener)

Post #: 7

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 5:07:51 PM

WickedKev

Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedKev
Sorry but where do you get this from? I have been to lots of clubs and play parties on both sides of the atlantic and one of the things we have in common, is the amount of moans and cries coming from the subs/slaves

From living in Ireland and being part of the scene there for 6 months. No, I wasn't in the UK part of Ireland, but many people who came to the events were and we had many discussions. As well I have many friends who formerly lived in the UK or who still live there.

Well they been to clubs I never been to and I've been to most on the main land one time or another. Wonder what its like going to a club as quiet as a morgue? As for Ireland even Northern Ireland don't know about clubs there and can't see how you can paint whole of UK with the same green brush.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 8

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 6:37:52 PM

greenie

Posts: 579
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline

a Dom that i'm involved with loves it when i cry. The more tears and the louder i cry out the happier He is.

(in reply to WickedKev)

Post #: 9

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 6:52:31 PM

perfection20005

Posts: 412
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline

I know my Master wants me to vocalize more than I do. He says that the more vocal I am the better He can do His work on me!

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to Awakener)

Post #: 10

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 6:59:49 PM

OscarHargraves

Posts: 616
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

I like her to vocalize. It tells me how well I'm doing and 'where' she is.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly!!!

(in reply to Awakener)

Post #: 11

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 7:03:48 PM

obis

Posts: 117
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline

quote:

I do seem to be in the minority though. For many whom I have talked with and much I have witnessed seems to prove that Silence is golden.... So am I in the minority, and if so why. Is it practicul or does it inhibit??

I dunno what's most common, but I'm with you. Not sure why someone would want total silence except for practical reasons or perhaps to show that the sub is forced to take everything and not allowed the normal outlet of emotion. I might actually try the silence thing sometime to see if my sub enjoys being forced to hold everything in, but I would never want it to be the normal state of affairs, I just enjoy crying and begging too much :)

(in reply to Awakener)

Post #: 12

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 8:39:37 PM

mystictryst

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline

I can only share with you my initial confusion over whether I should vocalize or not...

For a while, I tried to be very still, not releasing a wimper and trying so hard not to flinch... Then other times my voice would betray the silence and cry out.

I don't recall how long it took me to ask Master what he preferred... His response to me was to do what my body felt was right... Cry out if I needed to, be silent if I wanted to... Sometimes he shushed me, but more because I enjoy denial...

My fear with any type of vocalization is coming across sounding like bad porn.. *lol*

< Message edited by mystictryst -- 9/28/2005 8:40:39 PM >

(in reply to Awakener)

Post #: 13

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/28/2005 9:20:06 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 633
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

So am I in the minority, and if so why. Is it practicul or does it inhibit??

I'm wondering if maybe that dominant has a problem accepting what he's doing to his girl, and feels guilty if she whimpers or struggles, and that's why he wants her to be silent.

For myself, when Master is granting me pain, I'm usually mostly quiet, but particularly strong blows or surprises will definitely get a vocal AND physical reaction from me.

On my Top side, I can't stand it if the bottom is stoic and doesn't make a sound or even flinch. I get off on his struggles, and if he's not struggling, I'm not having any fun.

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to Awakener)

Post #: 14

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/29/2005 3:26:55 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 654
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

i play very quiet. I was with a extreme sadist and for me to reach sub space i would concentrate on what was happening and in actuality i was as quiet as a mouse. For some they scene loudly. its all individual.

(in reply to Awakener)

Post #: 15

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/29/2005 5:38:29 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 524
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

growling, snarling, yelling, crying & thrashing around

silent, calm & compliant

it's all good, so long as the energy is there

MP

(in reply to Awakener)

Post #: 16

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/29/2005 7:03:51 AM

fastlane

Posts: 1386
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

I have no problem with moans of pleasure and delight , but if do find it becoming distractive....well, there is a gag, duct tape, and handkerchief that I can use very effectively, while playing and "echoes, in the sound of silence."

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 17

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/29/2005 7:39:23 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 1512
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

it's all good, so long as the energy is there

So true!

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 18

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/29/2005 8:00:06 AM

pastplayingames

Posts: 50
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Then other times my voice would betray the silence and cry out.

mystictryst,

This phrase resonated with me when I read it. That is often what I feel when I do cry out...a betrayal. More specifically, a betrayal of my willingness to surrender.

For me, it is only painful when I resist it. When it becomes acceptance, it is something incredibly beautiful shared with my partner. In those moments of surrendering and acceptance of it, the energy rushes through me and I am at peace....a quiet centeredness of spirit. And as the intensity of his blows increases, my surrender grows.

There are moments where I do ultimately cry out...on that edge, where I struggle to surrender to the sweet suffering at his hand more. And when I do cry out, I feel a sense of failing in my desire to surrender to him....to suffer for him, because he desires it.

This has been my experience and how I relate to pain. Although it has been over a year since being truly whipped, I would think it is still the same for me. As it would be, I may find out if this is still the case very soon.

~Christine

< Message edited by pastplayingames -- 9/29/2005 8:44:10 AM >

(in reply to mystictryst)

Post #: 19

RE: To shush or not to shush? - 9/29/2005 8:52:37 AM

krikket

Posts: 380
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

my ex preferred silence in the early (i.e., nilla) days of our marriage, which worked out fine once we had small pattering feet in the house..lol..

It was that way for over 26 years, so imagine my surprise when the first couple of doms i was with wanted me to be vocal. While really difficult for me to change my mindset, it made a huge difference in the way i started viewing scenes and sex...<grins> Since then i've learned to ask, especially when i'm with someone i haven't scened with before. For my own needs, i find i can accept more pain and reach subspace quicker if i'm not concentrating on which way to bem but..am just me.. The biggest "problem" i have with that, however, is that, for myself, is giving my Master what he wants and needs that is most important to me, but which i sometimes find distracting.

cheers
jimini

_____________________________

We could learn a lot from crayons: Some are sharp, some pretty, some dull, or have weird names, and all are different colors, but all have to learn to live in the same box.

Cor ad cor loquitur (Heart speaks to heart)

(in reply to pastplayingames)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> To shush or not to shush?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Collarchat.com is a member of the Free Speech Coalition

Terms of Service

0.094