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expert - 3/17/2008 11:58:56 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
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greetings all,

every now and then i wander through and change my interests list to more accurately reflect my experience and what i'm involved in nowadays, since my interests have changed somewhat (both bdsm and not) in my time here.

so i'm always curious how people appy "expert" (or "beginner" for that matter) on their interest list. in stuff like knitting or housework, it kind of makes sense, because you can be an expert knitter or housekeeper (or at least a professional one with lots of experience)...but an expert walker? what does it mean to be an expert in collars, or in coffee shops?

if you use the expert and beginner labels, how did you choose to apply them in your interests list?

randomly,
annabelle.

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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

Post #: 1

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 12:13:04 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

for me, it's stuff I've done enough of to determine if it's something I want to pursue (or not).

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Post #: 2

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 1:44:42 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

greetings all,

every now and then i wander through and change my interests list to more accurately reflect my experience and what i'm involved in nowadays, since my interests have changed somewhat (both bdsm and not) in my time here.

so i'm always curious how people appy "expert" (or "beginner" for that matter) on their interest list. in stuff like knitting or housework, it kind of makes sense, because you can be an expert knitter or housekeeper (or at least a professional one with lots of experience)...but an expert walker? what does it mean to be an expert in collars, or in coffee shops?

if you use the expert and beginner labels, how did you choose to apply them in your interests list?

randomly,
annabelle.

Hello annabelle, I hope this day finds you well and smiling.
Darcy and I use the labels on a few of our activities, but not all. We tend to look at certain activites and if we know and understand the history of a subject, then we may place the label upon it.

Using your examples - walking - I am pretty sure some people just assume walking is no more than a quick visit to the park. Walking can be much more than that, and so we use it in the sense of knowing walking route, paths through areas like fields and private property etc. I do not know what it is like there, but in the UK, we have footpaths marked on maps. Knowing the terrain of an area is also down to experience, so we tend to believe this indicates just what kind of walking we have the ability to do. If I see 'walking' set as 'expert' I tend to assume that the person is a professional walker or has done proffessional walking, rather than enjoying the odd half hour ramble. Coffee shops is another good example, you can study about different types of coffee and teas. I have had the honour to witness a tea ceremony. So to me, it is no different to wine - if that is an analagy you can work with. I tend to see that it indicates a further understanding on a subject.

I can only assume again, that with collars - that would indicate to me that someone has either designed or made collars - but further communication would confirm such an assumption. That is how I personally view the labels anyway.

the.dark.

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Post #: 3

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 1:51:27 AM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

The profiles I read that have almost everything marked as expert .. make me wonder how they became so expert in everything !! .. seems like a superman syndrome to me ... at least it is a big red flag to me

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To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

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Post #: 4

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 4:01:58 AM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

thank you hisannabelle for posting this, I have just recently wondered this Myself, yet you presented it much batter than I could---I too wonder--if they say expert and there appears to be sufficient years to warrant time spent doing something, then I can buy it---I am still wary of those (except ones who I know are active in the life and in public) who say they are experts in the edge play activities---makes Me wonder: " I am a 21 yr old D and am an expert in fire play---" or, " I am new to the life..expert in masks"-----eeeyyyiiiii

ok maybe

but then maybe not.

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(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 5

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 4:11:15 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

I don't know. Having experience in masks and not being interested in BDSM long gels. I have made masks, I wouldn't call myself an expert at all, it's just a fun thing for me in the past, but I have knowledge and that has nothing to do with BDSM. Walking, scuba diving, chess, masks, knitting etc can have absolutely nothing to do with BDSM, but that doesn't mean people don't have experience in them. I can cook and design to a gourmet standard, but that has nothing to do with BDSM.
If you can get out of ones head that everything listed doesn't have to be in reference to BDSM but see it as a small snippit of someones hobbies or likes(they are personals after all), it makes the whole list thing easier to comprehend.

the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Post #: 6

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 4:14:16 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Everyone knows that coffee shop experts don't dribble when they drink.

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Post #: 7

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 7:00:18 AM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

the.dark.,
thank you for your post! it provided some insight. walking isn't such a big thing here (people are so reliant on cars) - i miss visiting the uk because of that. i fit in there. i don't here; i don't know how to drive, so i do a. lot. of walking. but more for necessity than out of exploration or for any particular professional reason. anyway, your post really provided some insight into that, and also the coffee shop/tea issue. it makes more sense when you compare it to a wine connossieur, i think. i hope you and darcy are well also! :)

lady hathor,
glad to know i am not the only one thinking about this! i thought i was just crazy and/or had too much time on my hands ;)

in general,
i tend to label based on my professional/academic experience or training and time spent doing something. for example, i'm not a professional dancer, massage therapist, or rpger, but i have spent a lot of time doing all of those things and have some of training and experience in different techniques and styles of dance and massage, for example. i put expert for intellectual discourse and buddhism primarily because i'm academically trained in particular areas related to buddhism (and in other areas of intellectual discourse), as that's where most of my research/study interests lie, and also was a buddhist and involved in buddhist leadership locally for some time. and i use the housekeeping/secretarial/computer professional listings because i've worked professionally in all those fields - extensively as a web designer and not so extensively as a secretary/bookkeeper and housekeeper.

everything that i list is really interesting to me and is something that i pursue on a regular basis, but i tend to use "beginner" to label things that i'm just learning but that i'm really passionate about. for example, i'm a brand shiny new revert to islam and so i'm just now exploring that both spiritually and academically. and i love swimming and knitting, but i am a total amateur in both and do them primarily for pleasure, but would like to get better.

edited to add: i also wanted to mention missharlet - i have the same reaction when i see (expert) listed next to every bdsm interest! i mean, it's great because there are some specific kinks i'd love to learn more about (like fire play and knife play) but when someone comes across as not being particularly involved in any real life bdsm community or organization but yet is an expert in everything it does tend to make one wonder. especially when they're young and seem to not have had much time to accumulate all that knowledge. i stopped listing most of my own bdsm interests for privacy/not having to hide my identity in certain online areas but needless to say i was not particularly well-versed in any of them, hehe.

respectfully,
annabelle.

< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 3/18/2008 7:03:55 AM >

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a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

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Post #: 8

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 7:05:22 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Everyone knows that coffee shop experts don't dribble when they drink.

dribble? no. But thanks to some of the characters on these boards i have sprayed my screen a time or two

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 9

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 10:18:09 AM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
dribble? no. But thanks to some of the characters on these boards i have sprayed my screen a time or two

Yes and choked on what I was drinking at the time also ....... so I could say I am an expert in breath play now ??

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Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 10

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 3:07:30 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I've been saying this for years now.....how someone can call him/herself an "expert" at, say, receiving massage. You just lay there! lol Giving massage, yes, there is knowledge of musculature and massage technique that must be studied and practiced over time, with the level of skill building. But to receive one? You just lay there! It's like saying you're an expert at breathing.

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Post #: 11

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 3:15:19 PM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

for me, it's stuff I've done enough of to determine if it's something I want to pursue (or not).

I have to agree here. Tho I think any one that claims to be an Expert...has issues...lol...even tho I do it Myself...I freely admit that I have issues...several in fact.

I just think its that you have tried it enuff and been a part of it enuff to know the biggest parts of the way things work and that you do and dont like it what have you.

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There's nothing left to say anymore
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Post #: 12

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 3:16:27 PM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

I've been saying this for years now.....how someone can call him/herself an "expert" at, say, receiving massage. You just lay there! lol Giving massage, yes, there is knowledge of musculature and massage technique that must be studied and practiced over time, with the level of skill building. But to receive one? You just lay there! It's like saying you're an expert at breathing.

Ive met a few people that needed to study breathing because they were so stupid they couldnt do it right...

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Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

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Post #: 13

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 3:17:47 PM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
dribble? no. But thanks to some of the characters on these boards i have sprayed my screen a time or two

Yes and choked on what I was drinking at the time also ....... so I could say I am an expert in breath play now ??

Wait wait wait...wouldnt that be asphyxiation? I thought that was when you used things....like rope what have you....so if you choked on your drink you should consider yourself an expert on asphyxiation...maybe I have the definitions mixed up...

But Im an expert!

I know!

lol...this thread is great fun.

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to MissHarlet)

Post #: 14

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 3:21:06 PM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

Maybe we can be expert in both ?????

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Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to Kirren)

Post #: 15

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 3:29:39 PM

SageFemmexx

Posts: 240
Joined: 1/2/2007
Status: offline

Personally I am wary of "experts". I've ran across quite a few that needed warnings tattooed on their foreheads--danger--idiot onboard etc.

Like the people interested in breathplay but didn't believe there was any risk (to them).

I'd rather know they had an interest and were willing to learn or even teach and share a few things.

Sage.

(in reply to MissHarlet)

Post #: 16

RE: expert - 3/18/2008 7:09:56 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

For me when I apply to the term "expert" about something it means that I have studied it enough to become expert enough in it that I could make a living at it

julia

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 17

RE: expert - 3/27/2008 11:53:48 AM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

when i see "expert" marked after everything, i think they have a "over rated "opinion of themselves. i always thought an expert at coffee shops meant that i could expect the first meeting to take place at Dennys instead of a nice sushi bar. i never thought it had anything to do with an expertise in coffee drinking.

when i look at the checklists, i look more at the hate and hard limit choices for good compatibility. for example, i really like water sports, if a Dominant has it on his hate or hard limit list we most likely would not be a good match.

may we all find our bliss,
everhope

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

Post #: 18

RE: expert - 3/27/2008 12:56:41 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I'm an expert in coffee shops because I managed a huge one for two years. Also, I love coffee and know a lot about it and the way a good coffee house should be run.

That's pretty indicative of how I rate my skills. For most, I leave them blank, but anything I feel that I have a keener grasp on or much better than average knowledge of, I rank myself as an expert.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
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(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 19

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