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RE: Exes and Friends - 3/15/2008 8:44:32 AM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
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i'm pretty friendly with most of my exes, i still have my moments of verbal sparring with my ex husband but that is the extent of it. my very first dominant and i have remained friends since it ended 6 years ago but recently that came to an end when he insisted we be friends with benefits and i couldn't do that without becoming emotionally attached again, he didn't understand so we both just moved on. no harm no foul really. all in all, i do find it easier to get along with an ex if i possibly can, it makes life a lot less stressful.

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RE: Exes and Friends - 3/15/2008 9:02:39 AM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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I have remains friends with my first dom, he is there for support and has offered to be my safe call if I need, has even given me a long standing offer , he feels I have the qualities to become an excellent domme, (caring, respect, sincerity and honesty), should I ever decide to give it a try he would like the opportunity to become my mentor and assistance to help set me up.

The second was a bit of a bumpy ride, finally ended without animosity and respect for each other intact, and accpetance we are not compatible for each other but he prefers clean breaks so no ongoing friendship.

I have made a couple friends through chatting or going to munches, but would not refer to them as close friends but can talk to them if the need arises.

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RE: Exes and Friends - 3/15/2008 9:13:09 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Morghan

How many of you have stayed friends with ex partners within the lifestyle?

Just play partners would be most of them, one of whom is my best friend. Ex intimate relationship partners = none.

quote:

For those who might not feel this applies, do you have many friends within the lifestyle?

Most of my friends are either in D/s relationships or want to be. The few vanilla friends I have pretty much rock as humans. I'm very lucky.

Celeste

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Post #: 23

RE: Exes and Friends - 3/15/2008 9:48:26 AM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Morghan

How many of you have stayed friends with ex partners within the lifestyle? If you have, how did it go? Were you friends right away or did it take a while to get back in that groove?

For those who might not feel this applies, do you have many friends within the lifestyle?

I feel it is critical to our general happiness and welfare to have friendships within the kink world as well as vanilla. After all, you have to have *someone* you can blather to about how well your sub made the bed or took that beating! And when things do not go well, its also great to have friends.

Morghan

I'm fortunate to have wonderful friends among ex-partners (of various kinds.)

As for: "...critical to our general happiness and welfare to have friendships within the kink world as well as vanilla" I don't think so

Some of my friends have interests, passions and relationships quite different from mine. I can still empathize with, sympathize with, celebrate and support them just as they can for me.

Consider: the person most beloved to me of all is from her point of view involved in a relationship so different from mine that you might call it opposite. Her personality and her means of expressing herself are in many ways worlds away from mine. If she and I can understand one another then I suspect that any two caring, imaginative, open-mined people can, if they choose to be there for one another.

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RE: Exes and Friends - 3/15/2008 9:59:02 AM

Real_Trouble

Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
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I would say, for me, it is very close to fifty - fifty. In cases where the relationship ended for mutually acceptable or logistical reasons (as in, someone moving or what not), I tend to remain friends with them; this is partially because if I don't think I could be friends with someone in the first place, or at least enjoy hanging out with them, I tend not to get involved. Otherwise, they will invariably irritate the hell out of me. There are one or two specific exceptions to that, however, but there has to be a narrow and deliberate focus to the play. So, in general, I pick people I could be friends with in many (but not all) situations.

On the other hand, in cases where the breaking up was not mutual, I have a pretty strict personal policy about not remaining friends. I have a strong aversion to drama, and I don't pretend to like people when, in fact, I do not like them; this means that most cases where there were less than polite reasons for breaking up, things are not going to go well in the future, so I prefer to simply not have them go at all for both of our sakes.

So, in short, it depends. Which is my answer to most important questions.

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RE: Exes and Friends - 3/15/2008 10:18:58 AM

Daddyslilpookie

Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
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I am not friends with any of my ex Doms however I do have a best friend who is a slave like me and she is like my sister. She used to live close to me and we would hang out all the time. Now she is faraway in Davis but we keep in contact she is on my friends list on my profile. She comes and visits me when she can and we talk on the phone once a week.

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Post #: 26

RE: Exes and Friends - 3/15/2008 10:30:27 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morghan

How many of you have stayed friends with ex partners within the lifestyle? If you have, how did it go? Were you friends right away or did it take a while to get back in that groove?

For those who might not feel this applies, do you have many friends within the lifestyle?

I feel it is critical to our general happiness and welfare to have friendships within the kink world as well as vanilla. After all, you have to have *someone* you can blather to about how well your sub made the bed or took that beating! And when things do not go well, its also great to have friends.

Morghan

I have friends not kink or unkink friends. I don't discuss my sex life with anyone cuz I'm sure they would find my sex as boring as I would find theirs.

BadOne

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Post #: 27