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The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 4:47:00 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


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: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms

1. The 'I Am Dom Hear Me Roar' Dom:

All shiny new leather wear, with a belt full of toys (just bought at Jack's Whip-O-Rama) . Of *course* he knows what to do! He read SM101...and even watched Exit To Eden three whole times!

2. The 'I Just Wanna Get Laid' Dom:

Roams the halls of AOL sending IMs to the ladies in the Chateaux telling them "On your knees! I am a Dom and U R my slave!". When he gets irate IMs back from the Domme he just sent to by mistake (what, read a profile? you *must* be kidding, right?), he quickly changes his tune to "R U a FDom? I am your slave! May I lick your boots?".

3. The 'Dungeon Slut' Dom:

Has a new 'lady love' each day (sometimes 2 or 3 a day). He swears each time that *this* one is his 'eternal true love'....at least for
the next two hours.

4. The 'Psycho-Stalker' Dom:

Wants to know *exactly* what you do...every minute of the day and night. Insists on BCCs of all sent mail, and Forwards of all read
mail, plus access to your account to check up on you. Do you get the feeling that someone is watching you? With this one, you're probably right.

5. The 'I Just Wanna Be Your *Friend*' Dom:

Offers to guide you and protect you....you innocent sweet thing you.  Oh, those other 10 subs? Just friends. Really.

6. The 'Of Course Im Dom...Uh Oh My Wife Is Home Gotta Run' Dom:

Warning signs: Picks 'no response' on marital status in profile. "No

honey you can't call me at home...call my voice mail instead". Often
disappears in the middle of a hot n heavy cyber session...uses an excuse like 'my power went out' when asked about it. "Of *course* Im not married!"

7. The 'Im Not *That* Type Of Dom' Dom:

Squeaky-clean image. The type of Dom that everyone *knows* is a good guy. He would never do something less than up-front and honorable. Uh-huh.

8. The 'Tom Cruise' Dom:

He's young, rich, handsome and perfect....until you meet him in person. Then you find out that the 'Tom Cruise look-alike' you've
been subbing to is 5'4", 400 lbs, bald, 48 years old, and living with his elderly mother. (Oh yeah... and he works as a clerk at 7-11...not
as a CEO of a 'major corp').

9. The 'Alex I'd Like to Buy a Clue For $200' Dom:

Ok, now you've got a sub....now what?

10. The 'I Don't Have A Sub Bone In My Body' Dom:

Really a bottom at heart, just refuses to admit it...even to himself.


And just in case you submissives out there thought you were off the hook....

Top7Subs

1. POOR-ME SUB:

This "sub" always has something going wrong in her life. Of course, it is never her fault..she is always being played upon and victimized
by others. If only she found the *perfect* dom, her life would be problem-free and forever-blissful.

Favorite IM to send: "Will you be my dom, sir? I am just a helpless little subbie."

Favorite IM to receive: "Just do what I say, slave!"

2. JUST-DO-ME SUB:

This "sub" just wants to be beaten. It doesn't really matter by who, or what..as long as he (I use "he" here because these are typically
male) can feel the lash. Frequently misbehaving on purpose, this sub can drive a dom *crazy*.

Favorite IM to send: "I have been naughty and need to be punished.

  Spank me now, Mistress!"

Favorite IM to receive: "You are a bad sub and need to be punished!  Bend over!"

3. BARBIE-SUB:

This "sub" just likes the way she looks in leather fashions. She is afraid of the whip, and has never seen a clamp in her life. Her
favorite store is "Dream Dresser", and her whole paycheck is spent there each week.

Favorite IM to send: "Would you like to know what I am wearing, sir?"

Favorite IM to receive: "What are you wearing?"

4. HE-HURT-ME SUB:

This "sub", without any negotiations, talk of limits or safewords, rushes out to a country cabin to play with a dom she met 2 days
ago online. After letting him tie her up and whip her, she decides he is a menace to society, and can't wait to tell all her "sub" friends he is a "BAD dom".

Favorite IM to send: "Subsis, I need to pass on a warning to you!"

Favorite IM to receive: "My poor subsis, you have got to warn everyone about this creep!"

5. I-JUST-NEED- A-MAN SUB:

This "sub", after exhausting all her singles bar and healthclub meeting places, decides that the D/s world would be a good place to meet a *man*.  She really has no interest in D/s, she just needs someone to spend the rest of her life with. She is a close relative of POOR-ME SUB. Amazingly, when she "gets her dom", she suddenly looses interest in any type of sex.

Favorite IM to send: "Sir, will you take care of me forever?"

Favorite IM to receive: "I have always dreamed of having a large family."

6. NO-ONE-CAN-TOP- ME SUB:

This "sub" longs to submit, yet claims no dom is strong enough to top her. Some say she is really just a domme in disguise.

Favorite IM to send: "Think you are strong enough to put me in my place, jerk?"

Favorite IM to receive: "No, Mistress, I am really just a weak and

helpless slave. ::falling to the floor and kissing your boots::

7. SUBMISSION IS THE GREATEST GIFT Submissive.

This submissive has stars in her eyes and naivety in her heart. She swoons at the mere thought of a dom, any dom, asking her to pass the salt. She writes her dom's name in the corner of her notebook with little hearts and flowers around it. She declares that there is no better way to love than through submission, and that d/s is a "better" and "higher" manner of loving than anything a silly old vanilla person might do. She lives on an emotional roller-coaster, sentimental enough to cry when seeing a long-distance phone company commercial.

Favorite IM to send: "You are all of life to me, there is nothing about life worthwhile without you."

Favorite IM to receive: "I am everything you'll ever want or need, and I'll protect you from everything." _______________________________
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 4:55:43 PM   
Controlthesenses


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Joined: 3/10/2008
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Awesome and funny (just like all insights that have a grain of truth to them)!

*Now get down and lick my boots....*  LOL

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 4:55:59 PM   
colouredin


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That made me giggle, think maybe should have been in humour, but was very funny, thankyou :D

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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 5:34:19 PM   
PsyVamp


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Joined: 10/30/2006
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Thanks for the laugh!

I think I've met each personality, at least twice.

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Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 6:11:14 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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Hey you forgot my group


The Arrogant Asshole Dom!!!!!!!!... We are Double A rated!

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 6:15:22 PM   
onlyfreelycaged


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that's only becouse it's not possible to fit *everyone* into a list of 10  unless you divide everyone into living, dead, and mostly dead. that's 3.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 6:20:11 PM   
marieToo


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From: Jersey
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How about the "I want your heart mind body and soul" Doms ? 

Why do they always forget to add tits, pussy, and ass to that list?

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marie.


I give good agita.









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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 6:20:57 PM   
GreedyTop


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From: Savannah, GA
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:: applause ::



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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 6:29:16 PM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
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From: Santa Rosa
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that was funny as heck!

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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 6:33:26 PM   
masterfixer


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Whew... I thought I was going to find myself in the list lol

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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 6:35:51 PM   
MistressMercia


Posts: 44
Joined: 4/14/2007
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HarryVan Winkle , L.M.F.A.O Plz give me another incontinent pad .................ah shit.....still on floor.......oh geezus...excellent .
                                          Regards
                                                          MasterLDesade

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 6:41:24 PM   
MistressMercia


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Oh shit Harry  you weakened me the floor and apology's for the wrong profile ......still belly laughing and typing is hard ........ah sweet mother of mercy ....
                      Regards
                                    MasterLDesade

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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 6:49:04 PM   
MasterLDesade


Posts: 67
Joined: 2/22/2007
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Harry , Ground Hog Day , look at what ya done to my P.C me gut has a stitch pissed the chair , floor and now 3rd time lucky for Bermuda stlye messages . Ah damb you must be a brother from another mother .
                                                 Regards
                                                                MasterLDesade

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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 6:59:28 PM   
MichiganHeadmast


Posts: 726
Joined: 8/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle


4. The 'Psycho-Stalker' Dom:

Wants to know *exactly* what you do...every minute of the day and night. Insists on BCCs of all sent mail, and Forwards of all read
mail, plus access to your account to check up on you. Do you get the feeling that someone is watching you? With this one, you're probably right.

_______________________________



Psychop-stalking is too much trouble.  Just send me a re-cap of your day, and maybe a pic or two of yourself in the shower taken with a telephoto lens.

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 7:03:54 PM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

How about the "I want your heart mind body and soul" Doms ? 

Why do they always forget to add tits, pussy, and ass to that list?


*snort*

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Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 7:06:11 PM   
catize


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Hahaha, great stuff and I could add a few more:
(true encounters)
 
The dom who begs
“pleeeeeeze be my sub, I neeeeed you!  Why won’t you submit to meeeeee?  I asked nicely!”
 
The drive through dom
“I will be in your city next Thursday on business.  Let’s get together and play.”
 
The I’m pretty sure I can do this dom
“Bought a $12 flogger from Costume;City.  Can I try it out on you?”

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 7:11:58 PM   
Leatherist


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Joined: 12/11/2007
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Let's not forget the "dome bottom".
 
Has an extensive list of expectations and qualifications.(mostly lifted from the pages of harlequin romance novels)
 
 Scripts exactly what you can and cannot do to her during play-and directs the actions.
 
Complains about your lack of  sponteneaity, after the fact.
 
 


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My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 7:18:11 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
OMG,
Or the sub that gives orders and then bitches that he/she can't get along with/find a dominant...



_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to Leatherist)
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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 7:26:51 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Let's not forget the "dome bottom".
 
Has an extensive list of expectations and qualifications.(mostly lifted from the pages of harlequin romance novels)
 
 Scripts exactly what you can and cannot do to her during play-and directs the actions.
 
Complains about your lack of  sponteneaity, after the fact.
 
 



 
“You want to put your what where?”  Det. Amelia Peabody, (Strangers in Death by J. D. Robb)


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Leatherist)
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RE: The Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms - 3/13/2008 8:20:19 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline
harry ! ^5 btw to all you Dommes with bunny flogger s  the only way they work on  harry is if they have talons on them 
gee maybe i should not have said that  Harry may get offers lol

(in reply to catize)
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