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RE: isolated bdsm - 3/11/2008 5:26:48 PM

Smoothicen

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Joined: 2/16/2008
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Honestly depends on the individual or couple...for some, the preference is to play and discover only with one another...for others, adding more playmates enhances the relationship and still for others, the attachment is not preferred, only play.

(in reply to Hiswifeon7707)

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RE: isolated bdsm - 3/11/2008 5:32:45 PM

chiguy

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/9/2004
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If you live in a larger metro area, there is likely at least one dungeon close by. If you are single and dating and playing casually, that dungeon is likely to be safer place to play than at home: all your friends are there.

Some people like the public space, the openness. It's not just exhibitionism: it's also the feeling of being with "people who are like us".

And if what you play with is highly technical and involves a lot of mentoring, playing publicly is a way to get that.

There's no right or wrong way: whatever moves you forward in the world *is* the right way.

(in reply to angelslave77)

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RE: isolated bdsm - 3/11/2008 6:35:59 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
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I'm a reptile, who has a life mission that's going to take precedence to pretty much any relationship that doesn't directly abet that mission. I'm pretty single minded that way-so any relationship I had would look pretty strange and cold to the vast majority of you.

Outside of that, I foud the local scene where I live to have to much polyticing and backstabbing for me to want to be involved with it. A quiet life apart is just fine by me.

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 3/11/2008 6:36:21 PM >

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RE: isolated bdsm - 3/11/2008 7:05:47 PM

completenz

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
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We are monogamous and very private, neither of us feel the need to share what we have with others. We do attend the odd munch but for conversation only,we do not attend play parties.
Its just not what we are into
C & c

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RE: isolated bdsm - 3/11/2008 8:00:31 PM

Real_Trouble

Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
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I am intensely private in this regard (and others), for a few reasons.

First, I like to keep my kink between myself and whomever I am playing with, and I tend to be relatively monogamous. There have been exceptions, but they are just that - exceptions, not the rule, and as time passes, they become significantly less frequent.

Second, I have a few social reasons to keep my kink off the radar. I don't want it to have any kind of impact on something such as my work life. Obviously, it shouldn't, but that doesn't mean people are sane and rational. Socrates used to claim he was the most intelligent man in Athens because he knew he was really dumb; people are really dumb (also, I am a person, ergo...). Thus, I don't trust them with things I don't think they can be well behaved about, which is most things.

Third, I'm not a people person. This is not to say I have trouble in social situations, but rather, that I simply do not enjoy the company of most human beings. Therefore, in terms of fun, very rarely does anything that doesn't involve a select group of my friends (or fewer) appeal to me. The thought of being highly involved in any sort of kink community is an anathema.

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