|
Termyn8or -> RE: Sexual Preference Intolerance (3/10/2008 8:21:54 PM)
|
summer, the only reason I am not in any type of therapy is because I can do it myself. What happened here is simple, you did not read her bigotry. You brought it up too soon and before you forged any kind of relationship. In another type of group I might say this was a mistake on your part, but if it is all about depression, one's desires are very important.What it boils down to is that she is not ready to participate in the group. That is not your fault and she should not even have gotten to the group stage.
If she is depressed enough to look for help, and then denies you for your sexual preference, she is not ready for it. Most likely she is hung up on religous ideals. And there is another thing. Some have the desire to be Gay or Lesbian but don't have the guts to follow through. This type of people are most vehemently opposed to such things. Like the old guy chiding a teen for his long hair, did they tell you the old Man was bald ? Jealousy.
Jealousy is probably the one and only aspect of human personality uglier than bigotry. Bigotry had roots in fact at one time, even though those facts have changed in the modern world and no longer apply. But jealousy has no such roots, it is the most immature of any reaction a human can give. You got something and I don't so I am pissed. Complete bullshit.
You got the guts in such a venue to be who you are and say how you are, you are light years ahead of that person. They want to hide their head in the sand. Let them. I have had plenty of discussions with people who say "I don't mind 'fags' as long as they don't try to convert my kids", to which I respond "They don't do that". And that is true.
In the words of Jose (I'll try to be as accurate as I can) " Noone would choose this, the way you get treated, the fact that you are different, it's not worth it, you are born with it and you can't stop it". As the discussion ensued, he went on with not only do they not try to recruit anyone, they actually go out of their way not to. As he had the floor I thought about myself being different than others, and I am. Struck a nerve there. In some cases all this can be applied to bdsm.
It's a deviation, but so what ? A deviation from what ? Something that others say you should be, I would tell them to go fuck themselves right to their face.
Took me a while to realize it, but I now know that everyone can't just do that. Not everyone is a Man who knows several forms of martial arts and has a gun and other weapons. Sometimes you gotta go home.
I think everyone should be confident in their self defense abilities. While it is not always possible, even the thought process of trying to elude or bust a criminal is a good thing. Grandma in a wheelchair with a shotgun sort of stuff.
By the way, what are you depressed about ? You got CM which is better than most therapy. We can't give you insulin or nitroglycerine, but we have "ears", and when you get to the group session stage, maybe discussing it here would help.
For example I can tell you this for sure ; Depression is something you do to yourself.
Try to refute that if you will, but it is true. Love, hate, anger all that comes from inside of you. It may be a rsponse to external conditions, but it is YOUR response, or reaction. I tell people "Do not react, an amoeba reacts, you respond". I need no cites for that, it is simply true. In fact it got one guy out of prison early for felonious assault and battery. I think he actually listened because he has not been in that kind of trouble since.
Back to the path here, you let an ignorant person make you feel something, stop doing that. What you feel is not dependent upon the world around you. It depends on you, and you alone. You might not believe this, but you will eventually.
In a way you can count this as a victory for your superior intellect. You are still in the group, they are not. There is no more proof needed. If it helps you to talk to those people, do it. Somene who is intolerant and has to walk out does not get that benefit. And that pretty much sums it up. You're not there for your -----wait, yes you are. Best of luck.
T
|
|
|
|
