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My first time starting a thread...what is it with these... - 3/5/2008 6:47:31 PM

HouseDV8

Posts: 37
Joined: 5/10/2007
From: Houston
Status: offline

While i can totally understand putting up a nice profile with some pics just to see if maybe there is a connection to be made, i am baffled by something that i see so very much of on this site.

There are tons of profiles out there that all they do is:
A. Tell you everything they do not want
B. Bitch about the people contacting them that they do not want
C. Demand that you be a number of things before contacting them...one of which is almost always interesting.

Here is my confusion...why would anyone contact them? They are negative, hostile and totally NOT interesting themselves, at least based on their profile...which is, after all, all we have to go on for starters.

Now, to the people with profiles like that...OF COURSE everyone contacting you is fake/rude/clueless/unintelligent. There was NOTHING in your profile to attract anyone else!

Also...why not just ignore it? I mean, it is going to happen...you put up a profile. That was all it took.

My motto is that in order to get what you want, you have to say what you want. Saying what you do not want gets you no where...the ones that you don't want are not reading it anyway. All it does it turn off those people that might have been interested.

If this post gets just ONE of those people to take out all that negative stuff...it was worth it! Put up something interesting and the quality of those contacts you are getting will go up. You will always get the undesirable ones too, but maybe if you got some good ones, you would not feel so bitchy?

_____________________________

It is not how long we have known each other, it is how well.

"Artists have the power, through our imagination, to escape a degenerate world and create a better one." - Infamous

Post #: 1

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/5/2008 7:05:46 PM

SugarMyChurro

Posts: 1912
Joined: 4/26/2007
Status: offline

ABS - Always Be Selling!

ABC - Always Be Closing!

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 2

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/5/2008 7:07:02 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I've been thinking of it.
I understand your point.
Otoh, after a while it is very frustrating to be dealing with...well...too many things to list.
I'm torn between bitching and not bitching right now...
I will think about it more though. *lol*

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 3

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/5/2008 7:15:00 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

With an avatar picture like yours, you can do nothing wrong in my book

.

_____________________________

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 4

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/5/2008 7:15:36 PM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

My answer to this,is be your bestest self, be honest and be yourself. This site has a great many of decent people, marred only by a few, some take it as a kick to mail someone with their often drug of drink addled thoughts, some are playing at what they claim to be, but there are others that are real, real people, honest and forthright. You have the problem that you are female and post an enticing picture, you will if you have not noticed already, a bevy of this that and the other messages,some good and some bad.This is a public site and a free site, expect allsorts,harden and learn to be descerning, what you seek may be here,And I hope it is..

Let what you seek contact you.

But I do understand what you perceive as negativity from posters, they may well have been plagued with who knows what in emails, so have learned to be what appears to be negative.

If it interests, I have learned, only since I took active participation in the forums, did I receive meaningful and decent messages.

I do wish you well House DV8, and I hope what you seek, you will find.

Aneirin

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 5

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/5/2008 8:20:37 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I think she's talking about actual profiles, though. I have seen many that were so bossy and negative I seriously doubt anyone evah contacts them.
Then there are some who have been here a while and become jaded...
I *hope* there is an obvious difference, but I do have to think about this some more.
Thanks for the thread, I have actually been pondering this over the last few days.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 6

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/5/2008 8:30:51 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I think she's talking about actual profiles, though. I have seen many that were so bossy and negative I seriously doubt anyone evah contacts them.

Yeah, since i tend to browse Female Dominant profiles, i've seen more of this sort than any other. i figure it's just a case of protesting too much... If they really didn't want attention, they'd put up a profile like mine, but it's much more satisfying to make nasty remarks about people and feel all superior.... Oh look, i'm so desireable that even though i tell people not to contact me, they still do! Oh, woe is me, life is soooo hard...

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 7

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 3:03:35 PM

HouseDV8

Posts: 37
Joined: 5/10/2007
From: Houston
Status: offline

quote:

Oh look, i'm so desireable that even though i tell people not to contact me, they still do! Oh, woe is me, life is soooo hard...

LOLOLOL

< Message edited by HouseDV8 -- 3/6/2008 3:42:03 PM >

_____________________________

It is not how long we have known each other, it is how well.

"Artists have the power, through our imagination, to escape a degenerate world and create a better one." - Infamous

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 8

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 3:06:59 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

my profile is setup because i know exactly who i am and what i want... using past experiences to avoid such experiences again. all previous experiences have been total bs. not what people say they are...promises not kept... completely lied to... things kept from me... etc etc...

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 9

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 3:07:28 PM

Smith117

Posts: 1447
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HouseDV8

Here is my confusion...why would anyone contact them? They are negative, hostile and totally NOT interesting themselves, at least based on their profile...which is, after all, all we have to go on for starters.

No one, they just serve as entertainment to some and an example of what *not* to do in a profile.

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 10

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 3:21:45 PM

DianeB269

Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HouseDV8

While i can totally understand putting up a nice profile with some pics just to see if maybe there is a connection to be made, i am baffled by something that i see so very much of on this site.

There are tons of profiles out there that all they do is:
A. Tell you everything they do not want
B. Bitch about the people contacting them that they do not want
C. Demand that you be a number of things before contacting them...one of which is almost always interesting.

Here is my confusion...why would anyone contact them? They are negative, hostile and totally NOT interesting themselves, at least based on their profile...which is, after all, all we have to go on for starters.

Now, to the people with profiles like that...OF COURSE everyone contacting you is fake/rude/clueless/unintelligent. There was NOTHING in your profile to attract anyone else!

Also...why not just ignore it? I mean, it is going to happen...you put up a profile. That was all it took.

My motto is that in order to get what you want, you have to say what you want. Saying what you do not want gets you no where...the ones that you don't want are not reading it anyway. All it does it turn off those people that might have been interested.

If this post gets just ONE of those people to take out all that negative stuff...it was worth it! Put up something interesting and the quality of those contacts you are getting will go up. You will always get the undesirable ones too, but maybe if you got some good ones, you would not feel so bitchy?

Dan can stay home but, you can vist me anytime Danielle...

Diane

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 11

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 3:25:23 PM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Hey OP. GOod topic.

I agree 100%. I have hesitated to contact such complainer people. It appears -totally selfish. I figured that is how the lifestyle works.

I find it as un-workable.

Express who you are- what makes you tick- and what would be ideal- what your goals are.

...I dont know if the negaitve type is worse then no profile.

I have a policy of "=" info. If an exchange goes to long- with out return info- then I am not too interested. A bot can be programed to do this.

I try to offer info when asked...so it is an exchange.

This "be real or be gone" posture is not onloy on this site but a lot of places online.

--anyhow I have chatted w some very nice ppl from CM. and i enjoy that.

(in reply to Smith117)

Post #: 12

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 3:38:20 PM

HouseDV8

Posts: 37
Joined: 5/10/2007
From: Houston
Status: offline

Master pointed out something else to me. He said that another problem with profiles that detail what they do NOT want instead of what they do actually get a higher percentage of people that want those things contacting them...the reason is the search engine.
Let's say i am really into cutting and medical play...i put medical play in the search engine and anyone who's profile has those terms in it comes up...never mind the fact that their profile actually said "NO medical play"...it still picks up on the key words and presents it...now, since i am really horny and totally pre-occupied with this idea of medical play...maybe i don't actually READ the entire profile...maybe i see a hot pic at the top of my search list and think to myself..."OH MY...that HOTTIE is into medical play!?!? i am going to write to her/him right now!"

_____________________________

It is not how long we have known each other, it is how well.

"Artists have the power, through our imagination, to escape a degenerate world and create a better one." - Infamous

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 13

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 3:44:25 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

On a hard Sunday of b.s. emails (that's the day I usually play catch up..lol) I"ve been known to put something a little snippy in writing, but I always put it in my journal and it doesn't stay very long. Guess it's just something I needed to get out of my system, then I delete it and move on....lol

I've seen some of the those profiles....it's all venom, and absolutely nothing about why they are on this site. I can understand their frustration, more than you know...but they really shouldn't let those people that they have problems with bring them down and prevent them from getting what they want and need. In other words, don't let them take up any more of your life than they already have.

LOL I've seen the "do me", bossy, military ones as well....there is a way to say what you are looking for without coming accross like a drill sargent..lol those never sound very submissive to me...lol

There is one that pops up on my homepage regularly, his top journal entry is "Twelve ways to tell a fake" woof....lol and to me some of them are not very valid....but oh well, to each his own I suppose. Another I've seen has a big do me list, and goes on about how "his" domme will be attractive, and just how attractive she will be....lol Which brings me to those that say they are attractive. They my well be physically attractive, but usually, the ones that contact me any way are already in love with the mirror...lol.........I noticed the people who are truely attractive don't realize it.

all I can say it good luck to ya...lol

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 14

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 3:45:51 PM

HouseDV8

Posts: 37
Joined: 5/10/2007
From: Houston
Status: offline

quote:

Dan can stay home but, you can vist me anytime Danielle...

Sounds like fun to me! Can i get in on the watching you with your sex slave? Great pix.

OH, and that comment about writing something snippy and then deleting it...i totally support this philosophy...it has been working for me for years. It gets it out. You write it all down..as if you are writing to the person you are upset with...but then you delete it. That is crucial. Here is the reason...sending it does nothing but create more hostility. Take the info you have, and make YOUR decision...don't put it back on them...they did what they did and they are who they are...you cannot change that...all you can do is decide for yourself if you want the person around you and how much.

No point in telling them what a dick they are...just decide they are a dick and move on.

Also, sometimes, (of course this would never happen to me <heh>) you really are the bitchy one and if you send it, it is going to get so much worse...just write it...let it sit...read it later...maybe it dawns on you that you are over-reacting, or that you were the one that was in the wrong. Delete it...you healed yourself and you did not damage the other person or the relationship.

< Message edited by HouseDV8 -- 3/6/2008 4:00:54 PM >

_____________________________

It is not how long we have known each other, it is how well.

"Artists have the power, through our imagination, to escape a degenerate world and create a better one." - Infamous

(in reply to DianeB269)

Post #: 15

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 3:57:13 PM

SageFemmexx

Posts: 240
Joined: 1/2/2007
Status: offline

I am one of those people that can't resist contacting negative profile people to ask why they are so nasty. I get back these hysterical responses demanding to know why I have such an "attitude" or "how dare you not be respectful to me--the Lord Whatsit". LOL

So, take them with a grain of salt and laugh. My best responses are from dominants that can't spell but insist they are well educated or the whining ones that bytch and moan about never having a date ie can't get laid. They hate fat chicks but look like lumps in their pictures on their profiles.

I read profiles as a hobby and have great fun with them. They can give you a great deal of insight as to what someone is really about.

Sage***

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 16

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 4:10:16 PM

HouseDV8

Posts: 37
Joined: 5/10/2007
From: Houston
Status: offline

quote:

My best responses are from dominants that can't spell but insist they are well educated

I am quoting you, but this is not aimed at you in anyway...just triggered a thought.

i just feel the need to point out that sometimes as Americans, we can be very arrogant about this topic. Not EVERYONE speaks English as their first language. This is especially close to my heart because the absolutely amazing Master that trained me is still single and part of the problem is that His English, especially in writing, is not perfect. It is not horrid...but it does contain mistakes...sometimes lots of them. He is highly educated, with a Double Masters in Voice and Composition/Conduction. He is a world traveled Opera singer and speaks 5 lauguages...it just so happens that English is the only one he never studied formally. He did not speak a word of English when he moved to the US some 17 or so years ago. Do not misunderstand me...he speaks extremely well. He is also hilarious and this is a very difficult thing to do. MASTERING humor in a lauguage that is not your own is nearly impossible.

Now, i can tell the difference between the two, but some cannot. It would be nice if people did less assuming and more observing.

_____________________________

It is not how long we have known each other, it is how well.

"Artists have the power, through our imagination, to escape a degenerate world and create a better one." - Infamous

(in reply to SageFemmexx)

Post #: 17

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 4:13:46 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

I can usually differentiate between people who are writing "with an accent" and people who simply cannot write..
The former is charming. The latter annoys me.

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 18

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 4:15:25 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Dan needs to get a haircut and lose the speedo. Damn hippie!

You look just fine the way you are.

_____________________________

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 19

RE: My first time starting a thread...what is it with t... - 3/6/2008 4:19:24 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

lol...exactly

funny thing, when I write something usually in response to an idiot's email that I "just" closed. I get emails from guys that I haven't heard from in ages think it was directed at them....lol

Do they actually think after days, weeks, months, even years, I'm still thinking about what they said? or even remember who the heck they are?.....LOL

they kill me...lol

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to HouseDV8)

Post #: 20

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