RE: Performance based D/s

RE: Performance based D/s (Full Version)

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LadyHugs -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 10:48:59 AM)
Dear Leatherist, Ladies and Gentlemen; Speaking for my self only--I am inclined to be best suited with a performance slave. I can get sex any time but, to find a slave who will perform things other than sex is priceless to me. A gentleman slave would enable me, as a lady to launch into a higher level of goals. This would cause him to be pulled into that energy as well. If it was to be a poly relationship, the joint energy share would launch me into a different set of goals and they would also be pulled into the energy as goals to be set will be reasonable and involve them all. Just some thoughts. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

AMaster -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 10:55:16 AM)
Sorry, I still don't know what your point is.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 10:58:36 AM)
Personally, I feel/believe any serious long term relationship should have planning and goals involved. In terms of D/s this is just a structure of the relationship itself. It's important that both partners be on the same page with plans and goals. If you are having problems with a sub/slave not getting it together on the plans and goals, you have issues that need to be addressed. These issues can be either with the sub or Dom. Regardless they are something that need to be addressed. It's always best to form some sort of vision for the future with ideas, thoughts and plans with goals. It's all about direction in life. Basically, get to know yourself and your submissive and you should be able to come up with a vision, plans and goals. Listen to what your submissive is trying to offer you at times too. Some Doms are too bullheaded to accept offers from submissives because they feel threatened, and get this whole Topping from the bottom concept stuck in their headspace. Generally a problem for Doms who enjoy being independent and doing things for themselves. Bitch can be is to let go of the control and entrust it with a submissive to do it. I'm just tossing out a few general thoughts here on the topic. It really depends upon how well two people mesh together and what it takes to work out a vision, with goals and a plan. Personally, for me this is a big issue in any relationship.. that is having goals and plans and working towards a direction. Helps give shape substance and energy to the relationship itself with a direction to go in.

Archer -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 11:01:26 AM)
OK OK fess up you just went to some corporate morale boosting meeting and drank just a touch too much koolaide. LOL Realy though this sounds like the musings many people get when they cross reference business management ideas with D/s. Not a bad thing, nessisarily.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 11:06:06 AM)
quote: Sorry, I still don't know what your point is. Was that to me? My point was to answer the OP. What didn't you understand?

BitaTruble -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 11:09:29 AM)
og, I think he probably hit 'fast reply' at the end of page one and that's why your name is on it.

mnottertail -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 11:11:16 AM)
of course it is performanced based, you can better believe my honey is going to perform some hella tricks for me. Ron

CreativeDominant -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 12:26:56 PM)
Almost every relationship that is worth anything has some sort of goals set forth for the relationship, whether or not they are written down or stated. Otherwise, there really isn't much need to enter into the relationship. When I enter into a relationship with my patients, my goal is to get them well. Their goal is to get well. Our goals together are to find and utilize those ways that brings about the highest level of that. Those are defined. However, the situation is different with those I call my friends. There are certain expectations of behaviors and interaction but these are more free-flowing. Were I to ignore any of the friends I have now for a period longer than 1 or 2 months, they would most likely consider me to be more of an acquaintance and less of a friend, just as they would if I never had time to listen to some of the bad in their life along with the good. But again, these are not goals that are stated with defined parameters listed. I have entered into D/s relationships in which goals were defined and revisited and further refined. I like doing things that way much more than that awkward stage where you are "relating" to each other in a dominant and submissive way but yet, the owner /owned(?) relationship dynamic is not there yet. I could see where entering into a relationship that was strictly D/s or D/s BDSM without any romantic underpinnings could have even more put down to paper as to goals and expectations but, like everything else we do, I am sure there are as many variations on that perspective as there are on others.

DesFIP -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 5:14:36 PM)
You mean if she has to work late several days in a row and can't cook your dinner on time, you're going to fire her? Not my kink.

petdave -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 5:58:47 PM)
i think it's more common than not in the FemDom world... personally, i find it depressing. i see it as yet another double-standard in the D/s world... If you're a bottom with a fetish, it's this terrible thing that you value X article of clothing over the person wearing it. If you're a Dominant, it's all noble an' shit that you value having your coffee prepared properly over the person doing it. They can keep that Kool-Aid.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 6:09:33 PM)
Is it really unfair that tops get to objectify and bottoms don't? If that's your beef, Petdave, find a sub who will do shoe fetish stuff for you!

Leatherist -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 6:29:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Archer I think Leatherist is trying to draw on the idea of total value of service being the measure used to evaluae the value of the person to the specific D type in question. Not in the sole area of sexual matters but also in other areas and goals in life. (ie you're value as a sex toy + your value as a personal assistant+ your values as a house manager+ your value as a book keeper + etc makes you valuable to me.) Yes. Subs............ Don't babble to me about "a gift of submission" Show me that the package has some worth. When the rubber hits the road, are you up to speed with the program?

petdave -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 6:42:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Is it really unfair that tops get to objectify and bottoms don't? Now now, you'll see that i specifically did not use the F word (fair)... i'm no n00b. But i think it shows a willful disconnect from reality to recognize the bad feelings connected to "just being useful for X", but assume that you'll continue to get Y from another when they realize that's all you value them for. Call it the benefits of being the Top; i call it bullshit- i choose to not believe it. quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist When the rubber hits the road, are you up to speed with the program? My cheese is present and accounted for, my synergies are realized, paradigm shifted, and my TPS reports are all appropriately cover-sheeted. i am ready to exceed expectations and add value to the equation!

Leatherist -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 6:43:32 PM)
Are you also ready to recieve the benefits? It's not a zero sum equation.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 7:11:06 PM)
Well I'd say of course there needs to be some point where the car actually functions on the road- life is about experiences, relationships are about sharing experiences together. If you can't have that experience, then the relationship will suffer. But pinpointing performance and valuing performance as a particular concept on a particular level has its side effect- sickness occurs, stress occurs, age occurs. We aren't yet to the point where you can repair a human body the way you can a car. So does that mean your sub will have less value or importance in the relationship just because they do not function in a particular way?

angelic -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 7:21:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Yes. Subs............ Don't babble to me about "a gift of submission" Show me that the package has some worth. When the rubber hits the road, are you up to speed with the program? Won't that depend on what the program is?

Leatherist -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 7:22:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Well I'd say of course there needs to be some point where the car actually functions on the road- life is about experiences, relationships are about sharing experiences together. If you can't have that experience, then the relationship will suffer. But pinpointing performance and valuing performance as a particular concept on a particular level has its side effect- sickness occurs, stress occurs, age occurs. We aren't yet to the point where you can repair a human body the way you can a car. So does that mean your sub will have less value or importance in the relationship just because they do not function in a particular way? People aren't consistent, and we all need down time. At the same time, a convoy can only move at the fastest pace of the slowest ship. Where you go and how fast, depends a lot on the roster.

Leatherist -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 7:24:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Yes. Subs............ Don't babble to me about "a gift of submission" Show me that the package has some worth. When the rubber hits the road, are you up to speed with the program? Won't that depend on what the program is? Yes, and how inspired the parties are at making it happen.

petdave -> RE: Performance based D/s (3/4/2008 8:07:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Are you also ready to recieve the benefits? It's not a zero sum equation. Oh, i expected that benefits were a given... you can't expect elite performance without a competitive benefits package. Just don't sink my battleship. i need it to protect my silo.

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