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RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 3:27:25 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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I recommend you read Anyone You Want Me to Be

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Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

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Post #: 21

RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 3:28:28 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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You seem to be concerned about this issue. A handy litmus test is to ask yourself the question "How can duct tape fix this problem?"

If there is nothing that duct tape can do to fix the problem, there is no problem, and you are perfect for each other.

RedGreenergy

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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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Post #: 22

RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 3:44:02 PM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
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Moniker;

That he pointed you in a direction to get more information is good, however only you can say whether this is the person you want to learn about those needs with. As far as him contacting you more, being more involved in your life, if you are both going through a divorce, then neither of you are really ready for any sort of attachment in all probablity. Rebound is a part of all relationship worlds, not just vanilla. Give it time, take it slow and get to know who you are and what you want and need, before you rush into anything even a play collar. Good luck and take care of yourself and your child first.

poenkitten

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Post #: 23

RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 3:47:36 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Do any of you really think that she is going to listen to anything being said. She has already talked herself into it.

Who cares I like hearing my self type.

BadOne

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The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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Post #: 24

RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 3:52:09 PM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moniker

Batshalom, He is not willing to do things differently. He says that He is willing to teach me, "own me" - whatever that means if He is not as dedicated as i would like him to be - , and direct me, and that that is all He is capable of currently. i do understand that my need to be cared for is not synonomous with his capabilities right now.... i have been getting divorced for a year now and He has been divorcing for 2 months now. So with it all being very new to Him, I'm sure he's not in a headspace right now to devote more of himself. i think I'm fine with that for the minute anyway.

Thank you for the reply, moniker, but they were questions for you to ponder at length, and to keep pondering after you finish pondering.

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Post #: 25

RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 4:09:01 PM

Sundowner

Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

No one here can truly know if he's "right" for you or not...

... Until you post several nude pictures, as he has hopefully explained to you.

Hey Noah - you could be onto something here.

How's about a mandatory (in the "handbook") for all subs to post what ........ say 5? ... nude pics of themselves. Of course I'm only thinking of this for their own good you understand. The cathartic release from posting the pics would help them and I'm sure it would make no difference at all to the number of emails they'd get from us, the caring doms, but the emails would be more informed, thus making them easier to read. So the subs win hands down.

Well done sir - a fine idea.

Isn't it good to be able to help the poor weak-minded subs? (I say weak-minded because I've noticed none of them has come up with this form of constructive suggestion). <ducks smartly at this point>

(in reply to Noah)

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Post #: 26

RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 4:17:08 PM

Sundowner

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Joined: 3/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

The only collar you need to concern yourself with is that invisible one that sneaks up on you and locks itself around your heart when you're not looking.

Eloquent.

Now that is beautiful

- your own?

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Post #: 27

RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 4:18:40 PM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

No one here can truly know if he's "right" for you or not...

... Until you post several nude pictures, as he has hopefully explained to you.

Hey Noah - you could be onto something here.

How's about a mandatory (in the "handbook") for all subs to post what ........ say 5? ... nude pics of themselves. Of course I'm only thinking of this for their own good you understand. The cathartic release from posting the pics would help them and I'm sure it would make no difference at all to the number of emails they'd get from us, the caring doms, but the emails would be more informed, thus making them easier to read. So the subs win hands down.

Well done sir - a fine idea.

Isn't it good to be able to help the poor weak-minded subs? (I say weak-minded because I've noticed none of them has come up with this form of constructive suggestion). <ducks smartly at this point>

In return can we expect pictures of your toys and dungeons?

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

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Post #: 28

RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 4:29:31 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

How's about a mandatory (in the "handbook") for all subs to post what ........ say 5? ... nude pics of themselves. Of course I'm only thinking of this for their own good you understand.

I just need one pict. The money shot!!!

BadOne

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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Post #: 29

RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 4:42:23 PM

alwaysuna

Posts: 23
Joined: 2/23/2008
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Hi there, I am a new user here, but I have a bit of experience through other sites, and I also have a child:

1. You dont want to share your man
2. You intuitively dont trust him
3. You may have 24 hours to spend with him
4. You have a child.

Let us reprioritize:

1. You have a child
2. You intuitively don't trust him
3. You dont want to share a man
4. You are considering spending 24 hours with him.

My vote is...learn more about him, learn more about yourself and what this really means to you (and your child), and spend the extra time until you dont have to worry about using intuition as a guide but can move forward on tangible trust. :) Good luck!

(in reply to batshalom)

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Post #: 30

RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 4:51:50 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: alwaysuna

Hi there, I am a new user here, but I have a bit of experience through other sites, and I also have a child:

1. You dont want to share your man
2. You intuitively dont trust him
3. You may have 24 hours to spend with him
4. You have a child.

Let us reprioritize:

1. You have a child
2. You intuitively don't trust him
3. You dont want to share a man
4. You are considering spending 24 hours with him.

My vote is...learn more about him, learn more about yourself and what this really means to you (and your child), and spend the extra time until you dont have to worry about using intuition as a guide but can move forward on tangible trust. :) Good luck!

Well said, but you left out the importance of submissives having nude pics.....

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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Post #: 31

RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 5:45:21 PM

Sundowner

Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

No one here can truly know if he's "right" for you or not...

... Until you post several nude pictures, as he has hopefully explained to you.

Hey Noah - you could be onto something here.

How's about a mandatory (in the "handbook") for all subs to post what ........ say 5? ... nude pics of themselves. Of course I'm only thinking of this for their own good you understand. The cathartic release from posting the pics would help them and I'm sure it would make no difference at all to the number of emails they'd get from us, the caring doms, but the emails would be more informed, thus making them easier to read. So the subs win hands down.

Well done sir - a fine idea.

Isn't it good to be able to help the poor weak-minded subs? (I say weak-minded because I've noticed none of them has come up with this form of constructive suggestion). <ducks smartly at this point>

In return can we expect pictures of your toys and dungeons?

Oh but of course - say 1 toy pic for each nudey pic? Seems only fair.

(in reply to OmegaG)

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Post #: 32

RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 7:22:02 PM

ThinkingKitten

Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moniker
i have always wanted to please a Man in every way, and have always put my needs last in a relationship

Sounds like you're about to do that all over again. Nothing to stop you from doing it, but one day you'll wake up and go "hey, wait a minute, what about ME?"

alwaysuna: Very nicely put.

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RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 11:08:40 PM

Moniker

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Joined: 2/23/2008
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OmegaG You ask truly tough questions. They’re difficult to wrap my mind around because I have possibly been diverting my attention away from the reason I would be drawn to Him. My answer on this message board, is that the reasons have been contemplated but have not been fully understood by me yet. It’s difficult to reflect on your own intentions when linking past, present and future concepts together.
I have been alone for a long time now…. even in my marriage. I believe that I’m ready for a new chapter, and this is proving to be an exciting one, barring the emotional ties that I too deserve and require. I do take heed of your recommendation LotusSong, and will be careful accordingly.

I have been searching for a long time for clues about who it is that I perceive myself as. I have read numerous self-help books, seen numerous well-known psychologists, taken meditation, yoga and belly-dancing classes. Backpacked half way around the world for years in the hopes of finding myself somewhere on my journey, isolated myself from my home country, family and friends in order to tear apart all preconceptions of who and what others believe that I am, and yet still I’m pursuing a career that I promised my mother that I would become as a child. So have I found myself yet, I believe the answer is no. Whoever truly does though? I suppose this might be a quest in another search that may make me happy.
Windchymes, my ex got together with a female during a trial separation that we had and is still with her. So, in reality I believe that there is a range of what an individual may be capable of in terms of commitment during a divorce. I understand that the majority of men would not be interested in anything except a sexual relationship during such a tumultuous period in their lives. I’m not asking for much, just a little care, which was my concern to begin with. I am not looking for a permanent collar with this man, but I do believe that I too should be appreciated for what I’m bringing forth to Him.
“In a nutshell, I wouldn't make ANY emotional attachments with this guy, just enjoy the fun you're having, and don't secretly hope for any kind of future with him…… Keep him as an option, but keep looking for your priority. “
This is great advice Windchymes. I believe that I will follow this, and enjoy the moment more. I have always given of myself emotionally before diving into sexual relations with someone, so I need to teach myself this philosophy and try to adhere to it now. Yes, what’s wrong with me having a little fun too. It’s female wiring that does it, and training myself to think differently about this will be a feat in the end.
Eyesopened, you are right about the relationship goals should be the same, and in line with my response to Windchymes, I will try to make our goals the same. I will enjoy Him, learn from him, with no further expectations. That way, I’m protecting my fragile core, and in time might find the committed, loving, D/s relationship should that be my future will.
BlackPhx, thanks for your sound advice. Taking it slow isn’t necessarily the female way, because of course we want to be adored, but I’m willing to give it my best try. My child does come first, and that’s why I will only see him when I am able.

(in reply to ThinkingKitten)

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RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 11:43:28 PM

MaamJay

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Joined: 9/2/2005
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Moniker, your last post is really what I was about to suggest. There is absolutely nothing wrong with women having liaisons that are never intended to go to "happily ever after". As long as you do guard your fragile core and simply get out of it what you can, without deliberately hurting anyone else in the process. Of course, you must look after your physical self (especially where sex is concerned, don't let Him "Dom" you out of essential safety procedures!) ... your emotional self (don't read more into encounters than is really there ... and do read up on sub fever, also known as sub frenzies ... that will probably explain why things seem so intense!) ... your spiritual self (though I think this will be a part of your quest do realise that this is the sort of cat, that once you let it out of the bag, seems to be very hard to stuff back in there again!) ... and naturally, high priority is your child. Be very very careful not to expose him/her to Him or to what you are doing ... ignorance is bliss or at least it's better than trying to deal with Mummy having a succession of strange boyfriends! Once you have found "a special One" ... then you can introduce them gradually to each other.

I remember when I first discovered this lifestyle, it was just mind-blowing and there was an urge to try everything and now! Take it slowly, read a lot! Educating yourself is very important so you can sift what He tells you ... and also to generate questions you want Him to answer. I have a bit of a reading program I use with potential subs ... though you wouldn't be in line for becoming Mine, I would be glad to share it with you if you like. It would be a matter of corresponding "on the other side of CM" and My asking you questions, sending you reading and more questions for discussion. Basically I have done the hunting around and found some reliable websites ... not all are!

Good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A] (I am both Domme and sub so I can speak from both perspectives)

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RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/23/2008 11:50:11 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
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Level, you are such a slut. I sent you thousands of noodie pics, can't you be satisfied with them?

OP. Fuck this guys brains out, if that's what you want, but don't look for, or expect, more.

You have a child, you're brain needs to disengage from your genitals and do what's best for him/her BEFORE what's best for you. Have fun, but remember your major responsibilities.

Good luck!!

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Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

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RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/24/2008 3:18:47 AM

Level

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*leers and waves*

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RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/24/2008 5:24:40 AM

Maya2001

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Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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He is probably already regretting directing you here to this site, but it appears overall he means well, but it is likely never going to turn into a happily ever after romantic love story. What you have to ask yourself is are okay with having a "play partner" to explore your kinky sexual side. If you continue in expecting more such a love, your likely going to be very disappointed.

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RE: So i met this Man.... - 2/24/2008 5:27:59 AM

mistresspantera

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/24/2008
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A day in the life of her collared slave.

Mistress Pantera has had intensive training in sensual psychological hypnotism.Unbeknown to her sluts/sissies/whores and tarts she has been using her powers to seduce and captivate them into deep inescapable submission.She does this through subliminal messages and her powerfull eyes.Most slaves are unaware that they have been cast under her spell but are wondering why they cannot stop thinking about her and why they have an unusually heightened level of sexual arousal.Those lucky enough to have seen her valentines dance have seen her in a way that photos cannot convey.

Her most lucky slave 'substantial' is collared 24/7 and lives in a constant state of bliss that all her admirers dream of.He has felt the full force of her hypnotic powers and has completely given up any ideas of escaping from her domination.

Mistress has decided to involve 'substantial' more in her smut to illustrate the reality of existing as a true slave to her for her growing list of devotees.

Substantial bought her roses,chocs and champers for valentines day and took her to dinner and then dancing.He felt that he had pleased his mistress,but mistress pantera is very demanding and is only pleased by demonstrations of ultra deep submission.This morning he was given a rude awakening.Mistress was dressed in her gothic style costume with her long crop in hand.She collared substantial and took him for a pony ride around the living room.She used her crop assertively to indicate direction and speed.The toil took its toll.As he lay exhausted mistress forced him to eat some raffaello chocs and then washed them down with some of her own brand champers.

As he laid gasping for breath she stood above him giving him a perfect worms eye view of her moist dripping pussy.He lived for these moments when his perverted desires became reality.Forced to masturbate himself as she watched laughing at his submission he felt a humiliated bliss that only a true submissive can understand.His orgasm gave him a temporary relief from his servitude,but the reality of his position came back to haunt him when his mistresses crop stung him sharply in the bollocks.

For a moment he wondered why so many others envied his position.Do you??????