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MaamJay -> RE: Trust Techniques (2/21/2008 1:34:39 AM)
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I really think the problem here stems from how people are reading the OP. To Me, it pretty clearly refers to trust in the sense of reliance, not overall trust in the person in terms of the relationship. The OP has said several times that He understands that r'ship trust cannot be rushed. However, having a sub truly rely on you for something ... being made to feel entirely vulnerable ... is a different thing. Many subs here say how self-reliant they can be ... and that's fine in everyday life. But sometimes a Dominant wants to give them the experience of being entirely vulnerable, of having to totally rely on the Dominant.
For that kind of experience, some of the trust and team-building exercises used in the vanilla world can be very helpful. i have a problem with heights, especially with swaying bridges. The only way Master could get me out onto one river bridge to see the view was to blindfold me and lead me out there on my collar and leash. Not only did i feel entirely safe (i already had a lot of personal trust in Him), i enjoyed the view ... and wow, it was hot and exciting! Best thing was, when some general public looked at Us a bit curiously, He just said "It's a trust exercise" and no one batted an eyelid! i was all for repeating it saying i needed more practise LOL ... but He said i was just cashing in [;)]
Blindfold walks are a good way of experiencing reliance. There are many variations on this theme, from being guided by a sighted partner verbally, perhaps pretending to walk through a "mine field" made up of scattered (soft!) objects, to being physically maneouvred in total silence to being guided only by a pre-determined pressure code of their fingers on your hand. Having once had a dog go blind (and he was amazingly smart, (taught himself the meaning of left, right, turn around, wrong way, stop and TREE!) and trusting he would dash round the park in a full run!) ... I was upset with My then hsub who was getting nastily impatient with him. So I took him (the hsub that is!) to a play party ... before he went in (very familiar venue and crowd) I blindfolded him. Then once inside I announced to all that he was going to be blindfolded for the night, so please give him whatever help they deemed appropriate. Well ... they were all so helpful they all began yelling at once LOL ... and boy, did hsub get pissed off. By the end of the night he was MEGA pissed off as it had severely curtailed his usual socialite (he was a CD ... Stand & Model type) activities. It wasn't till I got him home that I released the blindfold and pointed to Raffy the dog ... who had, as usual, found his way to the door to greet Us with happy smile and wagging tail. Boy was THAT a lesson! He complained bitterly that I should have told him before what My intention was, but I truly don't think it would have been anywhere near as effective if I had done so. And besides, it gave him lots of opportunity to get all his malicious thoughts about Me over and done with in one night LOL! I know what he was thinking ... I heard him muttering "fucking evil Bitch" under his breath when I was closer to him than he knew LOL! In that session I wasn't looking for him to build his reliance on Me of course ... I DID want him to experience the vulnerability and frustration of blindness. However, as a side effect, when debriefing later, he commented that he also learned a lot about who in the crowd to trust and who not to trust LOL! Some deliberately gave him a bum steer it seems ... oh those wicked sadists!
Another reliance-building experience is being in bondage comfortable enough to sustain over a long period, being given plenty of water to drink, then needing to pee and being told you won't be released but your everso kind sadist will bring you a bowl or a bucket! But I don't think you'll find that on a vanilla trust-building website [:D]
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
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