I think my Master has some kind of BDD.

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

I think my Master has some kind of BDD.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> I think my Master has some kind of BDD.

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 11:38:38 AM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

My Master is skinny 5'10" and 145-150 lbs. He has some amount of muscle tone. On some days I can see trace indents of a 6 pack.

And he asks me all the time if I think he is fat and always keeps saying that he is fat. I know women do things like this all the time, but I really find it strange coming from a man. He said his sister is bullemic. Maybe his parents ingrained some very strange standards of thinness in him.

So far as I can tell, he does not impose these standards on me. I think I look fat some days, but that's different because I am a girl, right? Whenever I ask him, he says no and that I look pretty fit.

Seriously though, its sort of weird. Its not like he asks me once a week, he talks about looking fat at least every hour if we are together. I dont even know any girls like this at this point.

He also claims his life revolves around food. He does seem to eat a lot and does not seem to avoid too many fatty foods. He is revolted by watching me eat though. He doesnt tell me to eat less- just slower and to take smaller bites. He does not want me to gain weight, but he is hardly obsessive over my appearance while being very obsessive over his own.

It doesnt bother me but then I realize that he might have some kind of problem that bothers him.

And Im not sure what to tell him either. He already works out a lot.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 11:46:39 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Every hour he mentions it? That is obsession for sure. Does he have control issues? I ask because eating disorders are often rooted in control issues.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to kitttty)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 11:48:27 AM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Does he have control issues?

Im not sure where control issues start when you are a Master.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 11:50:42 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Yes, it may be difficult to discern. Does he seem to have any OCD beyond the body stuff? In other areas of his life?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to kitttty)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 11:50:55 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

It's very possible for men to have body and eating disorders. You may want to do some research into the subject.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kitttty)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 11:57:54 AM

Zensee

Posts: 1564
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

It's not likely he'll take your word for it. Perhaps your doctor could intervene. Outside help of any kind will be an improvement over keeping it in the relationship.

Z.

_____________________________

"Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water." (proverb)

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 12:00:16 PM

MistressNoName

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline

In my opinion, most people calling themselves masters, etc do have control issues, it's just that some ppl are better able to channel those issues toward the positive than others. But it does sound like your Master has some body obsession going on and it might not be a bad idea to try and gently, (emphasis on GENTLY) explore this issue with him, not to change him or even to make recommendations, but simply to try to understand more where his head is at.

I would say you have cause for some concern, but take it one step at a time.

Best,

MNN

_____________________________

aka Ms Petal - Check Me out on the Web.

(in reply to kitttty)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 12:04:11 PM

bitch2humiliate

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/8/2007
Status: offline

Eating disorders are more commen in men than many realise, its just seems that it is less advertised or spoken about so openly.... from what you have said I would almost garantee He has some sort of eating disorder, which just as a note can cover many things from compulsive over eating to not eating at all.... with every other possible thing in between the 2!

You say that he seems to eat a lot and isnt overly bothered about fatty foods.. but are you sure all what he eats is kept down, that he doesnt vomit it back up again afterwards?

As strange as this may sound especially for a Master, the *majority* of eating disorders actually stem from a lack of control in some areas.... food and weight becomes something that can be controlled..something is a challenge to be won... this may or may not be the case with Him.. obviously i am no expert nor am i a doctor... but i am someone that has fought with eating disorders and BDD for many years.

To be honest, you really need to try and get him to see a Dr to get this properly seen to... if you dont feel comfortable enough saying it outright then perhaps show him your post and explain that you are worried about him.... but ultimately, if he wont accept he has a problem or isnt willing to seek help there is nothing you can do im afraid other than be there for him if and when he needs you

not much help i know and i wish i could say something more positive

P.S: Just my opinions.... right or wrong.. they are mine ! lol

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 12:08:14 PM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Does he seem to have any OCD beyond the body stuff? In other areas of his life?

I'd say yes although it seems to work for him. He does not seem to lack friends or behave in some way that hinders his professional life.

In his own words, he is always dominant, which is why he runs a company. He has in fact ran some company or the other since he was about 22. He just cant not be running the show.

In the kitchen, he is extremely picky about how things should be done. He will get frustrated if I do not cut things while holding the knife exactly as he wants and will always try to take what I am doing for me and do it because I do not do it exactly as he likes. Granted, I have no idea how to cook. he's not that picky about much else though. He seems to take no notice of how my hair is done or what I am wearing unless it is very obvious that I have done something different. He does not micromanage what I eat when i am not with him, but if we are together, he goes nuts. If he cooks for more than himself, he will buy ingredients days ahead of time and test everything out before making it with or for me. And then he will maintain what I would call obsessive control over our portions. Like last week he was so frustrated that when I split lettuce into three bowls, it was not in perfect thirds. It was probably very close though as I could not see any obvious inequality.

Other than food, he is insane about driving. Slightly prone to road rage, but he's a very aggressive driver.

The worst part about all of this is that when he gets mad over these things, it's really hard for me not to burst out laughing. I try and bite my cheeks to make it look like Im pouting for being scolded and make it impossible for me to let out a grin.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 12:09:42 PM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

You say that he seems to eat a lot and isnt overly bothered about fatty foods.. but are you sure all what he eats is kept down, that he doesnt vomit it back up again afterwards?

I really kind of wonder but I dont think Ive seen him rush to the bathroom after eating.

(in reply to bitch2humiliate)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 12:13:30 PM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

But it does sound like your Master has some body obsession going on and it might not be a bad idea to try and gently, (emphasis on GENTLY) explore this issue with him, not to change him or even to make recommendations, but simply to try to understand more where his head is at.

I realized that I need to approach the subject delicately as yesterday I just said, "when you say these things about you being fat it makes me doubt your judgment."

The look on his face was something else. He asked me to repeat myself in a sort of "how dare you say that" tone. And then he didn't actually make me repeat myself. He just dropped the subject but now I am worried that he will just bury his insecurity or whatever it is.

(in reply to MistressNoName)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 5:07:56 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Well I'm certainly no professional, but this armchair therapist thinks it sounds an awful lot like body dysmorphic disorder, maybe in concert with some other things going on. If he won't see a professional, then by all means seek one out yourself on what you can do and what you cannot do regarding the situation.

Cali
(who thinks playing doctor can be a right spot of fun)

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to kitttty)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 6:08:14 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

Eatting disorders are a serious problem. I had an ex spend the better part of six months in a hospital after going through a serious period..

I think she was trying to gain control. She felt her body was the symbol and flag beacon of any sembelence of control she could have. She believed that, if she could cause herself to lose weight, she'd be stronger and more in control.

In the end, she couldn't control her own movements, sleep, or even her own thoughts.

If he's developing an eatting disorde (or has one), it may well be a serious issue that would need to be dealt with quickly.

(in reply to kitttty)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: I think my Master has some kind of BDD. - 2/18/2008 9:33:32 PM

daddysblondie

Posts: 181
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline

That's how I was at my worst. I felt like my whole life was spinning out of control and the only thing I could have control over was what I ate and didn't eat. I was never concerned with losing weight, just keeping my weight where it was. I would always eat around people. Usually it was lunch with people from work since I lived alone. I would eat a "good lunch" and then not eat anything else the rest of the day.

I had very good friends around me that helped me see what was building before it was too late, and I developed other coping mechanisms for my "lack of control" than not eating.

It might be that he's skipping meals when no one is around to notice and that's why it seems that he's eating whatever he wants.

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Profile

Post #: 14