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As an example, he wanted to someday be beaten way beyond where he'd had enough.  This was a scary prospect to me.  His "enough" is already most folks' "way too much", so there was a risk of physical damage, but my bigger concern was how we would feel about it afterwards.  Would he feel violated?  Would I feel like an abuser?  Will it affect our relationship? 

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He started screaming “No more, no more”, which is his safeword.  We kept going. 

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ORIGINAL: probablyknowme

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He started screaming “No more, no more”, which is his safeword.  We kept going. 

Am I the only one who found this even a little bit disturbing?

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ORIGINAL: MmeGigs

I was asked to follow up on a comment I made in the thread about unrealistic fears.  I was going to be matter of fact, but decided to go for scene report format.  J

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As an example, he wanted to someday be beaten way beyond where he'd had enough.  This was a scary prospect to me.  His "enough" is already most folks' "way too much", so there was a risk of physical damage, but my bigger concern was how we would feel about it afterwards.  Would he feel violated?  Would I feel like an abuser?  Will it affect our relationship? 

We got to do this a few years ago.  We were at a friend’s dungeon for some fun and my Al mentioned to her when we were talking about what we might do that this was something he was interested in, but this was the first time we’d really played with her, so it wasn’t going to happen. 

My Al is a serious pain-pig, and he’s a big, sturdy guy so you can do a lot to him without having to worry much about damaging him.  He likes marks and he doesn’t mark easily.  He makes very gratifying noises, it’s really easy to read him, and it is simply delicious when you’ve got him screaming, you lean in to check on him, and he whimpers “more please…”  Woof. 

We were having a lot of fun.  Our friend didn’t often get the chance to leave marks or play very heavily, so being able to really get into muscular topspace was great for her.  I really enjoy co-topping my Al.  I love the energy I get from the other top and being able to take Al to places pain-wise that I just couldn’t get him to on my own.  He wears me out.  ;) 

We had been beating on him for a while with all sorts of implements.  Al was in a state of utter bliss, tied tight to a padded steel bench, stiffy that wouldn’t quit, she and I were completely energized and hot and wet and sweaty.  And wet.  I was, anyway.  She has a real sjambok.  The stars seemed to be aligned, so we checked with Al and he was game. 

I got to use the sjambok, she used a heavy cane.  I don’t remember the cane specifically – I was dazzled by the sjambok.  We took turns hitting his ass.  We started out pretty harsh because he was well warmed up, and left him plenty of recovery time between strokes.  We gradually ramped up the force until we were hitting him as hard as we could.  We were giving him everything we had and he was screaming his head off and actually shifting the steel bench – with him on it that had to be 350 pounds.  He started screaming “No more, no more”, which is his safeword.  We kept going.  He kept screaming.  We sped it up some, and he was shrieking and practically bouncing the bench.  She and I were dripping sweat and grinning like idiots, really feeding off each other’s energy.

We stopped when it felt like enough.  We stroked and petted AL, untied him, and we all hugged for a while.  It felt very post-orgasmic.  It was great.  We were all dopey and grinny and endorphined up.  Al said that it was terrible while it was happening, but wonderful when it stopped.  He had horrendous marks and welts on his ass that lasted for a while.  They hurt for days, he felt them for more than a week.  He loved that.  I was pretty floaty for a day or three myself.


One of the things that allowed this to happen was the basic safety of the situation.  Sjamboks used forcefully can break bones, but my full force isn’t all that forceful.  Not much upper body strength.  Our friend is very experienced, and had Al bound securely so he couldn’t hurt himself and positioned in such a way that his more vulnerable parts (tailbone, kidneys, etc.) were very unlikely to be accidentally struck.  Al said that it felt like the post-safeword beating went on forever, but in fact it was only a few minutes. 

My Al didn’t feel violated, I didn’t feel abusive nor did our friend.  We’ve become close with her.  Al says he’d do it again.  I felt good about it, but it was very intense.  Kind of psychologically edgy for me.  I was happy with the result.  I enjoyed it very much, but not too much.  I think our friend felt much the same.  I’d do it again with Al, and with our friend or with a few other tops I know. 

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ORIGINAL: subtee
Perhaps I've missed or misinterpreted something?

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ORIGINAL: probablyknowme

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He started screaming “No more, no more”, which is his safeword.  We kept going. 

Am I the only one who found this even a little bit disturbing?

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ORIGINAL: subtee

Thank you, although, I'm not concerned about the actual words, I'm concerned about the parties agreeing to use a safeword, and then ignoring it, when it was, well, screamed.

Many don't use safewords, it's not required. I don't, however, think it is wise to set up the agreement, have it be used in the scene and then ignored. I don't want to judge, but I'd not like to have newbies or anyone believe that their use of a safeword may be ignored; that, you know, it happens; that it's not irresponsible and wrong to ignore a safeword that has been agreed upon.

According to the narrative, big, strong pain "pig" Al felt the need to use the words, whatever they may be. I think it's disturbing to ignore it if you're going to have the option.

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ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

i read the "no more no more" thing as a typo.....because i cant imagine anyone having that as a real safeword...in that if it was it sort of flys in the face of why safe words were invented.