RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub

RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

KatyLied -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 4:41:01 PM)
The guy I'm talking about had a Dom and Sub profile at the same time. It was a few months later that he embraced his switch side. But for all I know he may have had all three going at the same time. I consider it nothing more than being opportunistic. I'm not sure why he wanted to be a sub because when he was a dom he told me "all femdoms have a bit of sub in them." I'm sure he kept that to himself when he was femdom shopping.

MzMia -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 4:42:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mrscolden have you ever been contacted by a dom and after a period of you get a message from the same person professing to be a sub? i have been on collarme 2&1/2 years and this has happened to me 3 times!! of course they use different names but their photos tell the truth. do they think i have no memory? are they simply men who will do anything for kink, sex? Many people have a variety of profiles, for a variety of reasons. [:D] Dang, I think I need to change to another profile now. brb

CuriousLord -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 4:43:05 PM)
Isn't that basically being a switch? Aren't there a lot of switches?

MistressDoMe -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 4:45:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia quote: ORIGINAL: mrscolden have you ever been contacted by a dom and after a period of you get a message from the same person professing to be a sub? i have been on collarme 2&1/2 years and this has happened to me 3 times!! of course they use different names but their photos tell the truth. do they think i have no memory? are they simply men who will do anything for kink, sex? Many people have a variety of profiles, for a variety of reasons. [:D] Dang, I think I need to change to another profile now. brb I'm back! lol [sm=biggrin.gif] As a public service announcement, I want to tell those that don't know, that this is the internet. You don't really know someone, based soley on whatever people write on profiles OR screen names.

MissMorrigan -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 4:47:32 PM)
Such a jaded view, Justme. Some years ago, when I initially joined CM I had a profile which stated I was a submissive. Infact, I identified as a masochist then, but still a little confused and had two profiles - never duping anyone, certainly wasn't after a 'quickie' as you eloquently put it and being thoroughly honest on each as to why I had a second profile. A couple of years later and after having extensively explored the dominant side of my sexuality I decided to delete the submissive one altogether. I am not alone in this and at the end of the day, we're all human beings. It's a shame that joining criteria stipulates that we tick boxes to 'identify' ourselves... Most people complain that they don't want to be 'labelled', yet actively encourage exactly that. quote: ORIGINAL: Justme696 In the past..when I actively was seeking...and read profile afther profile....iI saw this so often...or different profiles with the same pictures... guess many just want quickies....

Arrrchibald -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 5:04:55 PM)
People change their minds. Some ideas are just plain better in your head. I can't count how many profiles I've seen where someone says they're new and have never done anything in real life. But they "know" that they exactly what fetishes they "need." It's not surprising at all to see them reconsider when the real thing ruins the fantasy.

MistressDoMe -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 5:07:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arrrchibald People change their minds. Some ideas are just plain better in your head. I can't count how many profiles I've seen where someone says they're new and have never done anything in real life. But they "know" that they exactly what fetishes they "need." It's not surprising at all to see them change their minds when reality ruins the fantasy. I have an online "friend" that "leaves" Collar ME, about every 3 months. Then he comes back with a new name, and an adjusted profile. I just laugh, he amuses me.

MistressVnus -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 5:38:01 PM)
quote: I still like the face to face lunches so I can sit and watch them. And, hopefully, their paying for the lunch...wink Couldn't help it. But if someone is going to waste my time and try to wank me around, they're buying.

MstrssScarlet -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 5:50:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovingpet This may also occur with a switch that desires exclusively dominant or submissive relationships with separate individuals. Some switches do not like to switch with a given partner, but would rather meet each need in two distinct sets of relational dynamics. You make an excellent point lovingpet. While pro domming I used to see quite a few dominants who were technically switches. For some reason, the lifestyle doesn't seem to look kindly on switches. I'm saying this from the perspective of people I know who are switches, but project a dominant image in public. They don't want to be seen as a sub or switch, especially by their own submissive. I personally would never sub in front of my own submissive (if I were a switch) and then expect them to see me in the same light when it came time to dominate them. It's best (in my opinion) to keep the two relationships separate. Every one of the people I'm referring to keep two separate profiles and although I see a similarity in them, most of them have been smart enough not to post a picture with both profiles and even vary their location by just enough to throw people off. Is this deception? To some people, yes. For a lot of people, I think it truly is a matter of self preservation in their mind. None of those I've mentioned are intentionally being dishonest or deceptive in order to gain any sexual favors. Mistress Scarlet

shellzbythesea -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 5:56:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mrscolden have you ever been contacted by a dom and after a period of you get a message from the same person professing to be a sub? i have been on collarme 2&1/2 years and this has happened to me 3 times!! of course they use different names but their photos tell the truth. do they think i have no memory? are they simply men who will do anything for kink, sex? That hasn't happened to me "yet." However...What about those who have an active *male Dominant* account but an active female sub account, as well? i'm guessing by my experiences with this AND the amount of female subs who can't seem to make it to a phone when asked to...this is very prevalent, too. And...not to hijack but a serious question to the subs...would you trust a male Dom that also has a female sub account?

PhoenixRed -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 6:23:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovingpet This may also occur with a switch that desires exclusively dominant or submissive relationships with separate individuals. Some switches do not like to switch with a given partner, but would rather meet each need in two distinct sets of relational dynamics. I cannot explain why there would be more than two profiles (except, perhaps, in the case of a bisexual switch where four would seem the absolute limit for obvious reasons). It would only make sense to approach the same person twice if the person is also switch and the dual profile party sensed that there may be a relationship possibility if the entire process started under the opposite dynamic. Why a person would make multiple attempts at a person listed as strictly dominant or submissive is a mystery I cannot solve. The role-committed switch is one possible explanation that would not be a matter of attempting to be dishonest or misleading. It would be an exercise in efficiency and in being able to assert the proper role expectations from the beginning of an interaction (especially difficult if the other partner is also a switch). Perhaps someone can expand upon this idea somewhat. Well said. One of my subs is a switch who has female subs of his own. He's both a great Dom to his women and a great sub to me. He's very fluid and does very well in both roles. He isn't on CM, so he doesn't have 2 profiles. When I met him he had a Dom profile that read "can switch with the right woman". I've known a few Doms that like to "walk on the other side" occasionally. Nothing wrong with that as long as they're up front about it. I would note that at some point when there is a reasonably established relationship that the person explain the multiple entries and their purpose so their partner is not blindsided by the information later. This is a matter of open, honest, and trusting communication. I would make it clear from the beginning that I am a switch that prefers to have exclusive relationships in each given dynamic and why I have chosen to profile myself in that way. Some purists do not want a partner who does both, even if it is not in the parameters of his/her own relationship. This only becomes inappropriate when it is used dishonestly or full disclosure is withheld. I do not see the need to do this for any other reason and would be suspect of anyone who I found doing this outside of this senario. Just My Thoughts, lovingpet

PhoenixRed -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 6:25:59 PM)
OOPS! My bad. My response got buried in your quote. Here it is again, for the sake of clarity: Well said. One of my subs is a switch who has female subs of his own. He's both a great Dom to his women and a great sub to me. He's very fluid and does very well in both roles. He isn't on CM, so he doesn't have 2 profiles. When I met him he had a Dom profile that read "can switch with the right woman". I've known a few Doms that like to "walk on the other side" occasionally. Nothing wrong with that as long as they're up front about it.

kc692 -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 6:26:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDoMe quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia quote: ORIGINAL: mrscolden have you ever been contacted by a dom and after a period of you get a message from the same person professing to be a sub? i have been on collarme 2&1/2 years and this has happened to me 3 times!! of course they use different names but their photos tell the truth. do they think i have no memory? are they simply men who will do anything for kink, sex? Many people have a variety of profiles, for a variety of reasons. [:D] Dang, I think I need to change to another profile now. brb I'm back! lol [sm=biggrin.gif] As a public service announcement, I want to tell those that don't know, that this is the internet. You don't really know someone, based soley on whatever people write on profiles OR screen names. OK, now that WAS funny, rflmao.....this gave me a big smile.......bravo!!!!! (So, can we bury the hatchet now???? I'm really not as bad as you think I am, truly!!!)[;)]

laurell3 -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 6:44:42 PM)
I have two profiles. I am a switch, however, if I am looking for a sub, I will use a Domme profile. I'm honest about the fact I'm a switch, but the way the search mechanism works, having a switch profile doesn't get as many inquiries. I can't imagine contacting the same people over and over though. I think that's just laziness and I get that as well. There is nothing wrong with having more than one profile as long as you are honest.

MistressNoName -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 7:50:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilabbotsfordgrl There are legitimate reasons for this to happen, including the person simply having a change of heart. Perhaps one of their profiles is the "old them" and they either don't use it anymore, or only use it to keep in touch with people on their friends list on that profile. It doesn't necessarily mean the person is a fake/liar/jerk/etc automatically. Respectfully, maybe...and that's a most unconvinced maybe. Here's why I say this. I used to have a sub profile b/c there was a time when I was subbing. When I discovered the Top side of me I deleted that old profile and sent the one person I had any interest in staying in contact with my new handle. If a person has a change of heart, that's all good. But then why not discontinue the other profile? It's just too easy to do. Additionally, there are are so many ppl who not only have D and s profiles, but I've been contacted by several subs who have two sub profiles...I know this b/c I've been contacted by both of their profiles...what's up with that? Now I'm not calling anybody any names but I think practices like that are meant to deceive. MNN

Gwynvyd -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 9:53:32 PM)
I think wankers abound.. but then you also do have honest to god switches. since switches do get the short end of the stick a lot do have 2 profiles, a Dom/me and a sub profile. Hell when I was looking to be a bottom again for the sensory aspect I tossed up a second profile. No way in hell was I put that up on my Domme profile. It is a novel as is. I posted it on my profiles that I had 2 profiles, and on my bottom profile clearly stated I was a Domme with subs.. and if this squicked someone.. they could kindly move along. I got so much crap on my other profile I finaly gave up and deleted the bugger. I have no idea how subs do it. I dont even want a realtionship with the person really.. I just want to be smacked around a bit.. and holy hera. I think every troll came out of the wood work. I have toyed with the idea of putting it back up.. but every blooming time I run into a decent male Dom.... they want me to top them. there is no hope for me. LOL The only Dom males that dont want me to top them that I know well are married and not in an open realtionship. or Gay. Yup.. cursed I tell ya.. cursed.. Gwyn

MasterFireMaam -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 10:02:59 PM)
For some who are switches, it's a legitimate thing. They feel different energy with differenr people and find that lots of people are not accepting of switches. So, they have two profiles. I wouldn't have a problem with this IF they were honest about it. The crappy thing is, these legit people are tanished by those who are just trying to get lucky and not being honest about it. Master Fire

LadyAyla7053 -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 10:21:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet quote: ORIGINAL: lovingpet This may also occur with a switch that desires exclusively dominant or submissive relationships with separate individuals. Some switches do not like to switch with a given partner, but would rather meet each need in two distinct sets of relational dynamics. You make an excellent point lovingpet. While pro domming I used to see quite a few dominants who were technically switches. For some reason, the lifestyle doesn't seem to look kindly on switches. I'm saying this from the perspective of people I know who are switches, but project a dominant image in public. They don't want to be seen as a sub or switch, especially by their own submissive. I personally would never sub in front of my own submissive (if I were a switch) and then expect them to see me in the same light when it came time to dominate them. It's best (in my opinion) to keep the two relationships separate. Every one of the people I'm referring to keep two separate profiles and although I see a similarity in them, most of them have been smart enough not to post a picture with both profiles and even vary their location by just enough to throw people off. Is this deception? To some people, yes. For a lot of people, I think it truly is a matter of self preservation in their mind. None of those I've mentioned are intentionally being dishonest or deceptive in order to gain any sexual favors. Mistress Scarlet Myself being a switch and have been for a number of years now I know how some of the stigma goes. I have been told that I don't know what I want or who I am. Personally I take offense to that. But it's true for many people that are either dominant or submissive they don't see switches as anything more than being confused. Chuckles It's very similiar to what many of the gay and lesbian community say about bi-sexual people. On my profile I state I am lesbian but in all actuallity(sp?) I am bi and have been since before coming into the D/s community. Does that also mean I am confused? Not at all.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/17/2008 10:41:02 PM)
I've experienced a few things that are a little similar on here with women Pro Dommes that have had a hard time finding a "real" dom, basically somebody worthy of thier submission. Submissives exploring their "top" or "Domme" side. Seems to be common so far with Bi or Bi curious women. Actually seems there are a number of women that started off as submissives that grew into Dommes. Dommes looking for somebody strong enough they could submit to. All and All basically, best summed up as switches. I think many people avoid trying to label themselves as switches because of do much emphasis on D/s. However, News flash for people. Switches tend to ether Submit or Dom depending upon how they click with somebody.

lovingpet -> RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub (2/18/2008 6:28:32 AM)
Yet there are the rare relationships that find the switch in the position of being able to truly be who they are, but it often comes after a time of one being in a singular role. I find it rare for myself to find the personality match to switch with a partner and even more rare to switch within a scene. That is usually a matter of meeting a need that one partner is unaware of until after the scene is over and mental processing begins. A switch has a foot in two worlds and most of the time, for me at least, they do not meet. I do not have separate profiles, but understand why some would and why some would not be so quick to make that common knowledge. I would not say as much on the profiles as this would defeat much of the purpose of having separate profiles in the first place and I would be careful not to tip my hand in other ways as well. It would only be necessary to reveal this if there was a possibility of play, and deeper discussion of the matter as the relationship progressed. This is just my opinion, but it is a legitimate reason for having more than one profile and for keeping such information close to the vest. Regards, lovingpet

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125