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those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 2:44:07 PM   
mrscolden


Posts: 21
Joined: 8/12/2007
Status: offline 		have you ever been contacted by a dom and after a period of you get a message from the same person professing to be a sub? i have been on collarme 2&1/2 years and this has happened to me 3 times!!
of course they use different names but their photos tell the truth. do they think i have no memory? are they simply men who will do anything for kink, sex?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 2:47:48 PM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		Imagine having a slave in your house on 6 month trial and one of yout local lifestyler friends points it out-that he has a profile as a Dom----
 
check please!
 
 

< Message edited by LadyHathor -- 2/17/2008 2:48:30 PM >

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Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to mrscolden)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 2:56:40 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		In the past..when I actively was seeking...and read profile afther profile....iI saw this so often...or different profiles with the same pictures...
guess many just want quickies....


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(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 2:58:48 PM   
SageFemmexx


Posts: 240
Joined: 1/2/2007
Status: offline 		Yes! It happens to me fairly often. From sub to dom or dom to sub, they don't seem to care as long as they get some sort of attention. They always seem to have some variation of the long list of fetishes though.

I had lunch with a submissive male who had lots of dominant behavior during the meal. When I pointed this out--he immediately admitted he was usually a dom and was testing out being a sub. They don't seem to realize there are behaviors that out them.

I still like the face to face lunches so I can sit and watch them. It's a sure bet if they are whining to follow you home so they can have sex--they're a fake no matter what side of the fence they profess to be coming from.

Blessings,
Sage.




(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 3:01:52 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		LOL, I've seen this so many times that I think I must be immune, or jaded.
I have no knee jerk response anymore to the guys with dominant profiles writing to be considered as a sub.  All I do is ask them why  they are requesting to be considered as a sub if they are advertising that they are dominant.
There are many responses so I won't go into the methodology of each one.

Some of them are looking for kinky sex, some of them are tired of topping and want to bottom a bit and some have decided to give up being dominant because it's too much work.

As of this date, I haven't accepted one as a sub.

Lady Jag

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Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to mrscolden)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 3:20:38 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		This may also occur with a switch that desires exclusively dominant or submissive relationships with separate individuals.  Some switches do not like to switch with a given partner, but would rather meet each need in two distinct sets of relational dynamics.  I cannot explain why there would be more than two profiles (except, perhaps, in the case of a bisexual switch where four would seem the absolute limit for obvious reasons).  It would only make sense to approach the same person twice if the person is also switch and the dual profile party sensed that there may be a relationship possibility if the entire process started under the opposite dynamic.  Why a person would make multiple attempts at a person listed as strictly dominant or submissive is a mystery I cannot solve.  The role-committed switch is one possible explanation that would not be a matter of attempting to be dishonest or misleading.  It would be an exercise in efficiency and in being able to assert the proper role expectations from the beginning of an interaction (especially difficult if the other partner is also a switch).  Perhaps someone can expand upon this idea somewhat.

I would note that at some point when there is a reasonably established relationship that the person explain the multiple entries and their purpose so their partner is not blindsided by the information later.  This is a matter of open, honest, and trusting communication.  I would make it clear from the beginning that I am a switch that prefers to have exclusive relationships in each given dynamic and why I have chosen to profile myself in that way.  Some purists do not want a partner who does both, even if it is not in the parameters of his/her own relationship.    This only becomes inappropriate when it is used dishonestly or full disclosure is withheld.  I do not see the need to do this for any other reason and would be suspect of anyone who I found doing this outside of this senario.

Just My Thoughts,
lovingpet

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 3:22:55 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		It happens. It all comes down to some sort of role. Sometimes I have developed a theory that the only dividing line for some between vanilla and BDSM is that in one they're pretending and in the other they're not. It can be quite tempting, within minutes you can create a whole new persona so why stick at one? Why not have two? Or three? Or four?

It's a bit like being in a play and deciding to play all the roles, or play all the instruments in the band and sing, but which one is the real one? Or are they all real? Or are none of them real and it's all just one big experiment? Let us not forget that schizophrenics may need two profiles, as for those with multiple personality disorder?

Nothing surprises me in this community any more, nothing. The truth is that nobody here is a Dominant, nobody here is a Switch, nobody here is a submissive, we are all humans who like to dominate, who like to switch and who like to submit. But I guess for some the whole persona and role takes over and in some cases they even forget who they really are or get confused.

Confusing, isn't it?

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(in reply to mrscolden)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 3:26:19 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I have 2 profiles but they are both dominant.  If you put the two together, you'd get almost the whole complete picture of me.  One is where I am at now, and one is what I'm working towards.  And yes, if I tried to put all the info from both into one, it would be much too long for most people to bother reading.

Lady Jag

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Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 3:35:49 PM   
MistressNoName


Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

This may also occur with a switch that desires exclusively dominant or submissive relationships with separate individuals. Some switches do not like to switch with a given partner


While this statement is certainly true of some switches (myself included), if I were going to have both a Dom and sub profile up, I would indicate that clearly on both profiles...however, I think what the OP is talking about is the pure deceptive nature of many ppl on here just looking to get their fetishes some playtime and get-off. When I am talking with a boy, I let him know how I define myself...I point them to my website which goes into more detail than my CM profile...but I would not write to the same person under a different profile name, esp if we didn't hit it off the first go `round (which strangely enough, they do this quite often). But, the men on this site who seem to be doing this sort of thing (and yes, it's happened to me a few times, too) tend to send the same general email time and time again, never noting who they send what to...and some of these darlings will actually get huffy with those they spam (for lack of a better term) when the spamees point their error out to them. It's very interesting. They don't want to take responsibility for their own personal laziness and lack of memory and then they get upset when it's pointed out to them they should probably make use of the notes feature. Or, they offer a lame apology and spam you again in another month or two.

Again, interesting.

MNN

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aka Ms Petal - Check Me out on the Web.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 3:37:46 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		seen this too much myself.... and most if not all of them just want online relationships and many of them are pro doms that also have sub profiles.



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I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to MistressNoName)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 3:39:34 PM   
mrscolden


Posts: 21
Joined: 8/12/2007
Status: offline 		very interesting & thought provoking responses
thank you all

(in reply to PsyVamp)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 3:50:50 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		I have been contacted by the multiple profile folks so many times that I now have a warning in my profile not to reply if the "sub" maintains multiple profiles.  Most of the time, I do find out.
 
A while ago, I had not turned on the "orientation" filter when looking for men in my area, so subs, Doms, and switches all showed up.  Lo and behold, a "sub" who had applied to me also had a "Dom" profile, plain as day, with the same picture.  My profile clearly states that I am not interested in either Doms or switches.  When I confronted him, he had no answer and just deleted both profiles (for the time being--they both showed up again later.)
 
Out of curiousity, I went through the rest of the listings and found that this was not an at all unusual occurence.  One "slave" I met at a public event who has thrown himself at my feet, begging to be a 24/7 live-in, also has a Dom profile. 
 
Now, as part of due diligence, I routinely look for mutliple profiles for anyone who applies.  You would be amazed at the number of times I have found a hit.  Never, ever was this mentioned to me beforehand--I was always left to find out on my own. 
 
If someone does have a need to maintain multiple profiles with different orientations, I would recommend mentioning this up front so the other person doesn't come across the information on their own and get blindsided.  Speaking first hand, this is not a pleasant experience, especially when I really liked the person.
 
Lady Topaz


(in reply to mrscolden)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 3:57:09 PM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		Or maybe they stole someone else's profile picture? That has happened to a few people on here

< Message edited by ChainedExistence -- 2/17/2008 3:58:29 PM >

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 3:57:50 PM   
LadyLolly


Posts: 140
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline 		Personally I'd rather be contacted from the appropriate "type" profile and told about the second.  It's less confusing. 

If approached by another "dominant", I assume conversation, a meeting of the minds. For that matter, I don't automatically assume anything different from a submissive.  People can just want to talk to me.   When a dominant approaches with interest for consideration I just ask them - how, as a dominant, do they see that happening?  Leave it up to them to explain things rather than strain my widdle brain trying to crystal ball what is on thier mind. There are any numbers of reasons for it - happens frequently.     

(in reply to mrscolden)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 4:10:09 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainedExistence
Or maybe they stole someone else's profile picture? That has happened to a few people on here


I wish that were the case, but there were other tell-tale signs.  For example, one individual's "sub" profile said he wanted to be led around on a leash.  In his "Dom" profile, he referenced leading a woman around on a leash.  Another said "I'm not a sadist but understand the need for discipline" in his "Dom" profile.  In his "sub" profile he said, "I am not a masochist but understand the need for discipline."
 
Also, I have always given people a chance to respond when I come across the duplicate profile.  Surely if someone had stolen their picture, they would have let me know.  I could understand something like that.  Normally, though, they delete both the profiles, or just ignore me from that point forward (which is perfectly fine with me.)
 
Lady Topaz

< Message edited by MysticFireTopaz -- 2/17/2008 4:11:08 PM >

(in reply to ChainedExistence)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 4:26:05 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I know of a guy who had THREE profiles:
Dom
Sub
Switch


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(in reply to mrscolden)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 4:31:13 PM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		There are legitimate reasons for this to happen, including the person simply having a change of heart.  Perhaps one of their profiles is the "old them" and they either don't use it anymore, or only use it to keep in touch with people on their friends list on that profile.

It doesn't necessarily mean the person is a fake/liar/jerk/etc automatically.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 4:32:18 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Players.
Lots of them about.
Yes it is very confusing almost impossible.
I have always had one profile under the same name.
I change it as I change and develop as a dominant woman.
I'm bored of talking about BDSM.
Every man I have talked to has the same stereotypical ideas of 'play' which they have probably got from reading something on the internet or long term fantasies created by childhood events.Or they would quite like to stay at home and do very little while their partner goes out to work. Or they want someone to stop their destructive behaviours.
Never actually talked to anyone who just wants to serve a woman in any way she wants him to.This is the real world and men are men and most of them think it's their right to get what they want rather than to fulfil the needs of their partner.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 4:36:57 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I wish to add that multiple profiles in my opinion isn't necessarily a bad thing. I am not against anyone having multiple profiles. It is all down to intention, and whether that intention is to mislead or deceive.

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(in reply to lateralist1)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: those with 2 profiles- dom & sub - 2/17/2008 4:37:10 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
I know of a guy who had THREE profiles:
Dom
Sub
Switch


Yeah, I know one of those, too. 
 
We also had a fellow here in DFW who kept the same screen name and flipped his profile back and forth between Dom and sub every couple weeks for the last year or so.  I noticed it because he had me as one of his favorites (why, I don't know, since I had him on block).  One of my friends asked him why he did this and he said someone hacked his account and was playing games.  Like he would have let this go on for a year when all he had to do is change the password to stop it?  He finally just deleted that profile and set up another.  It's a sub profile for now, but I'm betting he'll change it to Dom with the next couple weeks.
 
Lady Topaz

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 20
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