|
Griswold -> Cats and Dogs.... (2/11/2008 5:57:21 PM)
|
(From a friend of mine....who I tend to agree with).
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About my pets:
1. They live here. You don't...and I have far too many of them...and thankfully...too few of you.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"niture.
(Das riiiight).
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
You, I like....but I'm still debating things....and my cat gives me pussy.
(Although I have to shake it off at about 2:30 a.m.)
4. To you, they are an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
(My friend is a woman...and she knows all about this shit...but I'm a guy....cats are "she's"....dogs are "he's").
I got cats.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called (okay....this may not be entirely accurate).
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink (Okay...this may not be entirely accurate as well....but I'm still missing at least 3 cartons of Marlboros)....
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
(Okay....I didn't write this...but I have to say....with the exception of #11....this reminds me of my ex wife).....
(And frankly...I'd like to see some state legislative changes on this one)....
|
|
|
|
