People need to get real (Full Version)

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michelleryder -> People need to get real (2/10/2008 7:17:17 AM)

I just read another post about an online Master/slave couple who intend to go into 24/7 lifestyle together. As the thread progresses it turns out they havent even met yet but are intending to move straight into a full time relationship.
My Master spent over three years driving back and forth between Wigan and Bradford before i moved here with him. Yes  I know it's only the pennines not the Alps but it's still an hours drive each way several times a week. During that period we played together and built up a fair collection of toys none of which are Anne Summers furry handcuffs!
I'd say to all those people who love the fantasy but have yet to experience the reality.......go slow. If it's meant to be then it will happen but always remember the reality and the fantasy are two very different things.



Leatherist -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 7:18:50 AM)

Goodness, but that would be work.

Why do I sense a bunch of people out there shouting RED!!! ? [:D]



KatyLied -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 7:21:30 AM)

People want immediate gratification.  People are desperate for relationships.

I was reading a thread where a couple as been on-line for 2 years and not yet met.  If they wanted to meet, wouldn't they have used some vacation time or long weekends during a 2 year period and made the effort to get together?  I'm thinking someone in that situation is just not that much into the other and it is doubtful they will ever meet, if they haven't after 2 years.



Leatherist -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 7:32:00 AM)

Sure katy.

One of them might fart in the presence of the other-forever ruining the fantasy of perfection. [:D]



KatyLied -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 7:35:18 AM)

I think it's more like they will get together and something like this happens:  1) body odor; 2) bad breath, 3) bad kisser.
[:)]



juliaoceania -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 7:37:35 AM)

I think people should live the way they want, not the way other people believe they should. If someone wants to move in with another after a short courtship and they feel this is the right thing for them, who am I to judge? There are more than a couple of people that post here that have done just that, and they have been posting here for a long time... still with that person that they brashly rushed into a relationship with.

It doesn't work for you, fine, but to state that they are not weal and twue because it seems wacky to you is a tad bit one twue wayish for me. I am a person that prefers to take my time before making such a commitment, but I have more than myself to think about in my life. Some people have only their own personal happiness to consider, why shouldn't they speed things up if their intuition tells them to? I can tell you for a fact if I really wanted to move in with someone soon after meeting them (as in one visit) I would do so. I wouldn't take other people's opinions into consideration if I wasn't responsible for anyone else.

It never fails to amaze me how these threads that talk about how what other people do as being less than spring up. Why do people need to compare their relationships with other people's in a way that is derrogatory? I just don't get it. It seems to be a common thing around here lately. This thread reminds me of the times in which people who play or have sex the first date were insulted. Why does it matter what other people do or do not do in their lives, it certainly doesn't matter to me



ToysAndTies -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 7:43:21 AM)

People are reckless in the vanilla world, why would it be any different here?

For some, being in any sort of relationship - online, long-distance, poly (when you want mono), mono (when you want poly) - is better than being alone.  People see the happy couples or families around them, and say, "why not me?"  Don't get me wrong, a high school classmate of mine is just marrying a girl he met years ago in the foreign exchange program, and it looks like it will work.  It can work out.  But many times, people fall for the dream, for the hope, not the person or the reality.  We don't live in fantasy; we may vacation in it from time to time, but bills still come, floors still get dusty, and food shopping will always be part of our lives.  I'm not saying this in some dismal realist way, nor am I the total pragmatic.  There just seems to be a sale on rose-colored glasses when it comes to romance.

Cheers, all.



SimplyMichael -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 7:55:00 AM)

Being used mercilessly as a sex object over the phone by a sadist is a lot easier than having to put up with nipple clamps for five minutes in real life.



fluffyswitch -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 8:00:32 AM)

fast reply

well it's a vanilla example but sometimes these fast relationships end up working out. my parents eloped after six weeks. they've been together for 24 years next month.



GreedyTop -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 8:04:38 AM)

wow..very cool, fluffy :)



breatheasone -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 8:05:41 AM)

michelleryder I agree with you that its rather irresponsible to move in together, never having met...but hey, if thats what it takes for them to learn, then so be it.



Lashra -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 8:27:18 AM)

I know a couple who were M/s online for 4 years while she was busy divorcing her husband and preparing herself to move from the life of a submissive to a slave. The new Master (who lived 4 states away) went to meet her once and they spent 2 days in a hotel having sex. After her divorce was final, they immediately up and moved to a new state to begin their life together and from day 1 it was nothing but endless arguements . They eventually ended up married (it was part of the "deal")only for 7 months and she finally hit the road because he refused to listen to her needs. He was broke as hell and would not let her work and she was tired of the electricity being cut off and the landlord threatening to evict them. Apparently they hadn't negotiated or discussed  anything, just spent hours cybering online or on the phone having phone sex.

Moral of the story know what the hell your getting into before you do it. I know it sounds all hot and sexy in print and on the phone, but until you actually meet someone you have no idea what they are really like. Because its been my experience that people are one way online and another in real life. If its worth having then its worth waiting for to make sure that its real.

~Lashra



justdavid -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 8:28:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Being used mercilessly as a sex object over the phone by a sadist is a lot easier than having to put up with nipple clamps for five minutes in real life.


There is a big difference between reality and romantic fictional expectations. The thing is we cannot ever truly know if a person who types on a computer knows the difference or has the ability to reconcile them.

Throughout history people have moved real fast, real slow and everything in between in forming relationships. Also, throughout history these all show mixed results. I have a sister who has tried it both ways moved across the country based on just phone calls and took three plus years to move thirty minutes both failed within two months. I have also seen one of my best friends married within three months celebrate his twentieth wedding anniversary and seen a female bolt while in her wedding dress at the church after being with the man for five years.

If the people involved do not have realistic expectations like what Michael refers to then that is a big hurdle to jump but not impossible for all to jump it.

If I could bet on ten of these types of relationships individually failing I would bet all my money and not sweat that at least more then half would fail very quickly. If I could only bet on one of the relationships I would not bet a dime. To each their own and I for one do not like to get judged so I am not going to judge. If there was a fool proof or best way plan to get humans together in happy and long term relationships I think we would have discovered it by now.



nwcutie102 -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 8:29:35 AM)

reality is much different from fantasy.... especially day to day living
go slow



kallisto -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 8:36:06 AM)

I think people in general enjoy the fantasy aspect of any relationship.   Some then have a hard time differientiating (did I spell that right?) between reality and fantasy.   Fantasy in the end is much sweeter than reality ever thought about being.    It's a cold, hard fact that reality will step up and bite you in the ass when you least expect it. 



LadyHathor -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 8:36:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: michelleryder

I'd say to all those people who love the fantasy but have yet to experience the reality.......go slow. If it's meant to be then it will happen but always remember the reality and the fantasy are two very different things.


I realize that you are attempting to bring some "sanity" to decisions like these, based on your perception of what is reasonable and acceptable--note I said based on your perception ( I am not here to slam, I am using that phrase to further explain My feelings and nothing more)...yet I agree wtih juliaoceana:
 
quote:

I think people should live the way they want, not the way other people believe they should.


For every good example, we can cite hundred of bad ones and vice versa---and for every relatinship that started out by what we may call "normal means"--we can say the same---its the luck of the draw. In fact this country was enriched and expanded by "mail order brides"--talk about sight unseen--
 
and IMHO if someone has survived two years online--more power to them, as that takes endurance.
 
IMHO, I for one, cannot begin to comprehend another's drive or need for a relationship, nor should I, what I should do, is wish them well as I would want for Me.
 
As for katylied:
 
quote:

I was reading a thread where a couple as been on-line for 2 years and not yet met.  If they wanted to meet, wouldn't they have used some vacation time or long weekends during a 2 year period and made the effort to get together?  I'm thinking someone in that situation is just not that much into the other and it is doubtful they will ever meet, if they haven't after 2 years.

 

Granted there are those that are the, hey I don't want to make any commitent, however--

If everyone in this country had so much money to toodle around the country-side, the government would not be sending out money to people to stimulate the economy, homes would not be in foreclosure and internet usage at an all time high. Travelling costs money and with the median income being about 25,000 for 18-25 yoa and about 43,000 for 25 and above--gas at $3.00 a gallon---the internet nay be the ONLY means of "commuting".
 
A little tolerance people--why fault people for developing relationships as they can--
 
 



ProlificNeeds -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 8:39:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Being used mercilessly as a sex object over the phone by a sadist is a lot easier than having to put up with nipple clamps for five minutes in real life.


Give me the nipple clamps any day of the week, but I can completely understand how some people would choose the other venue.



LaTigresse -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 8:39:49 AM)

And people wonder why I am so cynical about beginning a relationship using this medium.

Of all the women I've been contacted by on this website and been even slightly interested in, not one is willing to take it past internet or phone fantasy. It doesn't really matter to me, I didn't come to this site for that, don't have any expections of it. However it would be nice, at least once, for one to be more than meaningless words and unrealistic fantasies.

BUT, I've made some really fab friends.



meticulousgirl -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 8:40:50 AM)

it took me 8 months to agree to even meet mine
another 2 years to become "officially His"

that's almost three years, and we talked to one another and saw each other constantly....

if they havn't even met how do they know they are compatible for sure, people make up stories, they lie, they cheat, i'm not saying that's the case but, i am saying it's possible.

~meticulous~



Missokyst -> RE: People need to get real (2/10/2008 8:41:59 AM)

Plus, if everyone was logical and got to know someone before making such a huge committment I would have less to read.
Kyst



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