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RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 7:54:09 AM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

uliaoceania this is a disgussion board... so yes I high lighted a sentence from someone else that I shared a POV with... LOTS of other people do that too btw. I also realize that because this is a discussion board, that there will be varying views...and I always look forward to reading them....even though I may not always agree with them. I appreciate your POV, I just happen to disagree with it is all.

What exactly do you disagree with? Do you disagree that mind fucks can be a part of a loving relationship? Do you disagree with that people can feel positive about being set up to fail when they are playing and that they can have fun with that? Are you disagreeing that someone can have a positive experience with being set up to fail? I would like to know where exactly you get your opinion from? Experience or conjecture?

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Post #: 61

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 8:01:24 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

uliaoceania this is a disgussion board... so yes I high lighted a sentence from someone else that I shared a POV with... LOTS of other people do that too btw. I also realize that because this is a discussion board, that there will be varying views...and I always look forward to reading them....even though I may not always agree with them. I appreciate your POV, I just happen to disagree with it is all.

What exactly do you disagree with? Do you disagree that mind fucks can be a part of a loving relationship? Do you disagree with that people can feel positive about being set up to fail when they are playing and that they can have fun with that? Are you disagreeing that someone can have a positive experience with being set up to fail? I would like to know where exactly you get your opinion from? Experience or conjecture?

Experience.... and yes...my POV is that mind fucks, or being set up to fail, is not a positive thing.... your mileage may vary. BTW.....why not calm down some...you seem VERY upset. I hope everything is ok, and that nothing is wrong....if you want, you can Cmail me on the other side, if you want to discuss this more...I love a lively exchange of ideas!

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(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 62

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 2:06:57 PM

juliaoceania

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Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I am not upset. I also posted a similar rant on a thread about people that move in with people that they have only met online. I just think it is very crappy to insult other people's way of doing something because how it makes you feel. I just don't get it. I do not understand putting down something because you do not think it would be something you would like. I understand it isn't your thing, it wouldn't be positive for you, but stating in a blanket way that something is negative is just silly, judgmental,

I do not see how having an open marriage could ever be a positive thing, doesn't mean other people don't have a positive experience with it, at least I am open minded enough to accept that other people's life experiences and feelings are as valid as my own. I suppose I am trying to challenge you to expand your own horizons, broaden your point of view, because you just sound very narrow minded, and I wonder if you understand that just because something ain't your cuppa tea, it doesn't make it "negative". There is a big difference in saying something doesn't work for you and stating that it is negative... you do understand the difference, don't you?

When it comes to mind fucks and not being able to stand them, I suppose I am just secure enough in myself to take the ride where he wants me to go. I have never been hurt by him mind fucking me, but not everyone is me, doesn't make them wrong or bad or even insecure... it just makes us all different.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 2/10/2008 2:07:41 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 63

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 2:25:38 PM

vampiresscammy

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Joined: 12/25/2007
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to the OP, what I got out of what your asking folks if they enjoy and occassionally take part in what to me would be failure play for lack of a better term to put to it, where in both partys know or quickly catch on, sub is being set up to NOT accomplish said goal or task set to them and dom/me is intending that failure in order to playfully punish them because dom/me wants to punish them, sounds like lots of fun to me!!

in the words of Dr Frank ''A mind fuck can be so nice"!

< Message edited by vampiresscammy -- 2/10/2008 2:26:41 PM >

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Post #: 64

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 2:29:40 PM

breatheasone

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juliaoceania its unfortunate that you view me that way, but of course you are entitled to your opinion about me, and anyone else on the board for that matter. I wish you well....

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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Post #: 65

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 4:14:46 PM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I have an opinion about your opinion, not you as a human being. I find your opinion to be narrow minded and judgmental. I have had opinions of the same stripe myself, so it is no condemnation of you. I suppose I was raised to support my opinions, and my Daddy will chastise me like there is no tomorrow if I make blanket statements about other people. Now I have been accused of being upset, needing to calm down... and still you continue to not answer my questions and paint my posts as though I am attacking you.. if you do not want to discuss your opinions, fine with me. I fail to see why you expressed them here.

I am done here

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 66

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 4:32:06 PM

christine1

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Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
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breathe...just realize that there are some that like to argue anything and everything...it isn't easily explainable.

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Post #: 67

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 4:35:45 PM

meticulousgirl

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my previous Master and Mistress did.....what messed up mind games they use to play...one against the other so i'd be spanked by one or both.....

~meticulous~

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Post #: 68

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 4:53:55 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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fast reply

setting up to fail .. no matter how big or how small the context is something of a sore point for me ...

I work hard and I play hard, and everything I have goes into everything I do .. its just how I am and how I work.

Failure then is me having all that slapped back in my face .. "you gave it everything you got, and hey, its still not good enough" ... now I know that those situations .. failure, missing out etc .. they happen to us all, i deal with them when they happen .. but they crush me at the time and ... And there will always be an element of challenge ... where the desired outcome is success but the possibility of failure is recognised and prepared for ,,, that is something positive... but to create a situation hoping for me to fail that is just creating a load of counter productive negativity

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Post #: 69

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 4:57:09 PM

CdnExplorer

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Joined: 2/12/2007
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I wouldn't get much out of this kind of play. If you know from the outset that the task is impossible, why would I even try? I suppose depending on how playful it was I might try to play along a bit. Generally speaking though, for me, being set up to fail would be a very negative experience. Done in a positive way though it could be fun. ie: How long can you do X, rather than do X for 5 minutes or else. Of course with that it's kind of hard to bring in a play punishment.

I mean geeze I'm a sub, if you want to hit me just do it

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 70

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 6:15:37 PM

breatheasone

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Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

breathe...just realize that there are some that like to argue anything and everything...it isn't easily explainable.

Thank you, I appreicate what you say.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to christine1)

Post #: 71

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 8:08:45 PM

DisenchantedLife

Posts: 193
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have an opinion about your opinion, not you as a human being. I find your opinion to be narrow minded and judgmental. I have had opinions of the same stripe myself, so it is no condemnation of you. I suppose I was raised to support my opinions, and my Daddy will chastise me like there is no tomorrow if I make blanket statements about other people. Now I have been accused of being upset, needing to calm down... and still you continue to not answer my questions and paint my posts as though I am attacking you.. if you do not want to discuss your opinions, fine with me. I fail to see why you expressed them here.

I am done here

my god... chill out. Why not pick a fight some where else?

_____________________________

I'm pretty sure I've turned into a bitter bitch with a huge shovel. One of these days I'm going to exchange the shovel for a hoe

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 72

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 9:32:58 PM

ItalianSMistress

Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CdnExplorer

I wouldn't get much out of this kind of play. If you know from the outset that the task is impossible, why would I even try?

Most times the slave does not know the task is impossible until afterwards. If you read the examples I shared, esp the last one, you will see that. Er, I dont mean that to sound bitchy, was just making it clear.

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(in reply to CdnExplorer)

Post #: 73

RE: Set up to fail - 2/10/2008 9:57:46 PM

SailingBum

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Why in the world would you set up someone to fail??? Life is difficult enuff without adding to it! SHEESH

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Post #: 74

RE: Set up to fail - 2/11/2008 12:25:37 AM

ThistleDown

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Joined: 1/15/2008
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(fast reply)
I have actually been thinking a lot about it since this thread was started but I think I've finally figured out my thoughts on this! Yay!
I have had very little experience with this but in my experience it goes like this. It can be fun and extremely enjoyable but for me I would have to lump it in with edge play (with the understanding that edge play is any play that has an exaggerated potential for causing harm or damage). I have a medical condition that has lead to a lot of difficulty with failure (concerning everyday activities) so that even just games or well-meaning jokes can set me off on a bad train of thought.
However, if the goal is purely a simple (one) physical goal* (get out of this rope bondage), (do this many As), (do B for this long) and that physical activity is not severely hampered by my condition (my master would know so this is somewhat specific to me) then I find it to be extreme amounts of fun and won’t want to stop the games!

The more the activity leans toward a mind fuck (aside from the base: set up to fail), though, the less I'm likely to enjoy it for the same medical condition.

*simple vs complex would be something like "get out of this rope bondage" vs "get out of this rope bondage while reciting The Night Before Christmas"

~Puppy

< Message edited by ThistleDown -- 2/11/2008 12:26:13 AM >

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Post #: 75

RE: Set up to fail - 2/11/2008 5:12:35 AM

ItalianSMistress

Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Why in the world would you set up someone to fail??? Life is difficult enuff without adding to it! SHEESH

I am a sadist, so I take pleasure in making My slaves life difficult from time to time. Also I am sure if you read all the replies you will see there are slaves/subs who also enjoy this.

And ThistleDown, I would agree this could be edge play, and that makes sense as most of the play I enjoy most would fall under this......

_____________________________

Governess

"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."

http://italianmistress.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 76

RE: Set up to fail - 2/11/2008 5:41:40 AM

sadomasokisti

Posts: 221
Joined: 10/20/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Why in the world would you set up someone to fail??? Life is difficult enuff without adding to it! SHEESH

I don't see impossible tasks as a setup for failure. It's a opportunity for a suffering.
The more I can suffer for her the better. I have only once begged her to stop a CBT play and that was when she intended to let me suffer until I gave up. And of course I vent on a bummer afterward because I thought I should have done better.

The more I get to suffer, the more I love her.

Impossible tasks, predicament bondage and such only add to the helplessness and the feeling of her control over me.

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Post #: 77

RE: Set up to fail - 2/11/2008 6:43:07 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have an opinion about your opinion, not you as a human being. I find your opinion to be narrow minded and judgmental. I have had opinions of the same stripe myself, so it is no condemnation of you. I suppose I was raised to support my opinions, and my Daddy will chastise me like there is no tomorrow if I make blanket statements about other people. Now I have been accused of being upset, needing to calm down... and still you continue to not answer my questions and paint my posts as though I am attacking you.. if you do not want to discuss your opinions, fine with me. I fail to see why you expressed them here.

I am done here

my god... chill out. Why not pick a fight some where else?

I have thick skin so I rarely let myself get bothered about other people's words. With that said, I find that when one says "it's not possitive" rather then "we don't find it possitive in our relationship" that they are considering their own values to be superiour to others.

Maybe we should stop sporting events, after all someone will fail to win no matter how hard they try.

What did I compte in during my life and "fail" at?-- Band competitions, cheerleading tryouts, art competitions, writing competitions... streetball, pick-up hockey games.

We engage in all sorts of activities that push us to try our best when we are not guarenteed of success. If feels far more hollow to fail at any of the above high school competitions when I walked away with nothing then the games that m'Lord and I play where the punishment is as rewarding as the winning would be.

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to DisenchantedLife)

Post #: 78

RE: Set up to fail - 2/11/2008 8:57:09 AM

kyraofMists

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If I am asked the question, "Does he set you up to fail?", the answer would be no, not even in play.

However, he does enjoy putting us in predicaments where we are made to struggle in order to obey or where there may be a choice between two evils. These are fun and enjoyable for me.

He often does this to me with zippers. One of the more memorable times, he attached a lot of clothespins to my breasts with several strings looped through them. The end of the strings were looped around my two thumbs and I was made to hold my arms out to my sides in a T and keep them there. Then he started to attach heavy chains to the strings. The chains were pulling down my arms and pulling on the clothespins. After he was done watching me struggle and he had added enough chains for his satisfaction, he grabbed both my hands and the pulled my arms up and back ripping off all the clothespins. I bent over double to get my breathe back and when I came up I was laughing.

He enjoys making me rip off my own clothespins and zippers. Just this past weekend he has said that if I can remain motionless when he flicks my nipples (something that I hate and hurts like a bitch) then I can have one of my favorite pieces of candy (I am restricted on the junk food). Somehow I do not think that I will get to have very many pieces of candy; he has strong fingers and can flick really hard.

Watching us struggle to do these things fuels his sadism. However, he would not do something that causes emotional pain. He may enjoy our frustration, annoyance, irritation or other difficult emotions, but he does not enjoy doing something that will result in emotional pain.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Post #: 79

RE: Set up to fail - 2/11/2008 5:18:31 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sadomasokisti

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Why in the world would you set up someone to fail??? Life is difficult enuff without adding to it! SHEESH

I don't see impossible tasks as a setup for failure. It's a opportunity for a suffering.
The more I can suffer for her the better. I have only once begged her to stop a CBT play and that was when she intended to let me suffer until I gave up. And of course I vent on a bummer afterward because I thought I should have done better.

What part of your sentance makes sense. I can damn sure make you suffer without seeing you fail at the task at hand.

BadOne

It's a sick world and I'm a happy man

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 80

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