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RE: Count the Cost - 2/9/2008 8:15:24 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
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From: Tampa, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Is the high, worth the low?

You finally did it....you met "The one" there is ZERO doubt in your mind and heart. Everything about this person...EVEN THEIR FLAWS, are a perfect fit with you. You are going to lose this person(meaning they are going to die)....this person will not be in your life for long....probably less then 10 years.(ok I can hear the youngans saying "OMG 10 years is a LONG fuckin time" but trust me its NOT) Do you go for it? Knowing the loss will be life altering and DEVASTATING, and thats not coming close to how bad its REALLY going to feel. Knowing the hurt thats coming....do you take the joy?

A dear friend of mine lost her precious husband after 10 years of marriage. Shortly after the funeral she called me and in her grief cried "It's not fair! I should not be a widow at age 36! I wish I have never even met him if he was going to just leave me!"

i said gently, "i know my life was enriched by having his friendship. You had his love, and you have it still and i know your life was enriched by that. i feel more sorry for the millions of people who never had the honor and joy of knowing him at all. This pain will go away one day but the love you shared with him is now a part of who you are and because of that, he will never be completely gone."

Pain is all around. To reject pockets of joy to avoid possible pain is like refusing to walk because you might stub your toe.

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RE: Count the Cost - 2/9/2008 9:28:12 AM

SayaNereida

Posts: 152
Joined: 7/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Is the high, worth the low?

You finally did it....you met "The one" there is ZERO doubt in your mind and heart. Everything about this person...EVEN THEIR FLAWS, are a perfect fit with you. You are going to lose this person(meaning they are going to die)....this person will not be in your life for long....probably less then 10 years.(ok I can hear the youngans saying "OMG 10 years is a LONG fuckin time" but trust me its NOT) Do you go for it? Knowing the loss will be life altering and DEVASTATING, and thats not coming close to how bad its REALLY going to feel. Knowing the hurt thats coming....do you take the joy?

Absolutely!
I'd rather have a short time of joy, than to run the risk of never having it.
Saya

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Post #: 82

RE: Count the Cost - 2/9/2008 8:21:56 PM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
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You have found something very special, from what you have shared here on the forum. Special for, both, you and he.

Give him and it all you have to give..and slurp up every ounce and moment he offers to you. Have no regrets. Leave nothing left to say " I wish I had tried or done that" ...Live it...do it..feel it all.... the good, the joy, the pain and the challenges.

Whenever it comes to a close>
which would you rather be able to say ??

" I am so sad this has ended and I miss him so much, yet I will never forget how happy we made each other and how much we laughed and loved. He had everything I had to give and he was completely happy. My heart and my memories will remain full of the love we created... That blessing will carry me into the rest of my life."

or

" I don't hurt as much now because I didn't let myself get too emotionally invested or too vulnerable"

I don't know what causes you to think that there is a time limit on this relationship...obviously you know something.
Isn't it better to focus on what you do have now vs on what may or may not be in the future??

when it comes right down to it> we really only can count on this moment we are in. Every other future moments are not promised to any of us.

I know what it is like to lose a love, too early and too unfairly.
For me it was a child. I had another child alive to think about. It was the most painful event of my life and I never wanted to feel that much pain again. But to withhold my love to my other child, on the chance that he would die also> made no sense to me.
It could have happened...it could still happen. NOT loving my remaining children so that I don't feel possible intense pain if they were to go> would actually be ME causing & creating a loss to happen... to myself and to them.

grieve over the loss of something when it happens...
but LIVE it and love it while its alive and lovable..

hugz
Cyndi

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.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

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Post #: 83

RE: Count the Cost - 2/9/2008 9:47:03 PM

laurell3

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Joined: 5/5/2005
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There is no guarantee you will live for 10 years. There's also no guarantee he will die in 10 years, who knows what will happen in 10 years. There are never guarantees period. Yes, every time we let someone in we take the risk of losing them and the risk is worth it in my opinion.

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Post #: 84

RE: Count the Cost - 2/9/2008 9:56:32 PM

Maestro66babycak

Posts: 396
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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Is the high, worth the low?

You finally did it....you met "The one" there is ZERO doubt in your mind and heart. Everything about this person...EVEN THEIR FLAWS, are a perfect fit with you. You are going to lose this person(meaning they are going to die)....this person will not be in your life for long....probably less then 10 years.(ok I can hear the youngans saying "OMG 10 years is a LONG fuckin time" but trust me its NOT) Do you go for it? Knowing the loss will be life altering and DEVASTATING, and thats not coming close to how bad its REALLY going to feel. Knowing the hurt thats coming....do you take the joy?

Yes , with every fiber of my being.

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Post #: 85

RE: Count the Cost - 2/9/2008 10:30:39 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
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i did. i didnt get a full 2 years with fallcon. and that very short 4 months that we knew he was going to die, we talked about this....he asked me if i regretted it. my answer was "only that we didnt get enough time together."

kitten who knows that there are no guarantees in loving.

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Post #: 86

RE: Count the Cost - 2/9/2008 10:32:09 PM

Maya2001

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Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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The answer gets a lot tougher and even more puzzling when your not sure yet if they are "the one" and you know they are already ill and may not have a lot of time left

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Post #: 87