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Generation gap - 2/3/2008 8:36:52 PM

slaveboyforyou

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I had a run in with my father tonight. I went over there to eat dinner, and visit. My dad was watching some news program on CNN about Iraq. He was pissed as usual and talking to the T.V. It was about Iowa national guardsman doing extended duties. My dad was a infantry officer in Vietnam. He did 2 and half years over there. So he was bitching about how big of pussies these guys were for complaining. I understand that; I grew up with that. But I made the comment that we shouldn't be in Iraq in the first place.

All Hell broke lose. My father called me every name in the book. He actually tried to fight me. He is 64 years old, so I just backed off. But he picked up a umbrella and menaced me with it. I didn't know what to do. My mother (God bless her) walked in and started yelling at my father. I just left, and now I feel bad. My dad and I have always had that kind of relationship. I have never served in the military, and I had no desire to. But, I got talked into taking ROTC when I first went to college by my father. I hated it, and I dropped it after two years. According to my father, I have no right to complain about foreign policy because I decided against military service.

I don't understand that. I love my father, and I am proud of his service. I have a good job, and I pay my own bills. I have never asked him for anything. Why is he so angry? He has been that way since he retired.

< Message edited by slaveboyforyou -- 2/3/2008 8:39:48 PM >

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RE: Generation gap - 2/3/2008 8:43:32 PM

Sanity

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His generation believed in America. They really believed. That's all. He can't understand you, nor you him.

They'll be gone soon.

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RE: Generation gap - 2/3/2008 8:45:22 PM

Alumbrado

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Funny that someone would fail to understand that being allowed to complain about foreign policy is a right you get for being born here, and that doing one's military service is a responsibility, not a ticket to special citizenship privileges.

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RE: Generation gap - 2/3/2008 9:02:35 PM

Owner59

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanity

His generation believed in America. They really believed. That's all. He can't understand you, nor you him.

They'll be gone soon.

Our generation believes in America. We really believe.

But not in America,..right or wrong.

Like good parents,we acknowledge her when she`s right,and correct her when she`s wrong.

Like the song goes,"stand beside her,and guide her"....

Slaveboy,this war has torn a lot of relationships apart and tested many more.

Good luck with your dad.

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RE: Generation gap - 2/3/2008 9:05:51 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Good luck with your dad. I am very pro-troop, and I have a world of time for a combat veteran, but I agree, we should not be in Iraq. That does not mean that I am not 100% behind the people who are out there every day putting their lives on the line. Vietnam was another we shouldn't have been there war.....maybe your dad sees that connection, and feels criticized?

You say that your relationship has always been adversarial, so this just might be something that you avoid discussing.

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RE: Generation gap - 2/3/2008 9:06:27 PM

pahunkboy

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If my dad were still alive- I think we would fight. Aparantly you shatter the world as he knows it with your logic which is not his logic.

He is being way too serious on it. You will probaly have to humor him. Vietnam vets were not treated well when they returned the public even spit on these guys.

Not eveyone is cut out for military service-

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RE: Generation gap - 2/3/2008 9:13:00 PM

faerytattoodgirl

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could be an age and high blood pressure issue..my dad is 64-65 in april...and he does the same thing...easily angry due to his high blood pressure.

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RE: Generation gap - 2/3/2008 9:31:28 PM

Owner59

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

If my dad were still alive- I think we would fight. Aparantly you shatter the world as he knows it with your logic which is not his logic.

He is being way too serious on it. You will probaly have to humor him. Vietnam vets were not treated well when they returned the public even spit on these guys.

Not eveyone is cut out for military service-

" Vietnam vets were not treated well when they returned the public even spit on these guys. "

This is a myth.

There is not a single case of this in a newspaper or police blotter.

Though there weren`t parades and a huge welcome home,GIs weren`t picked on or spat upon.

The real ass fuckers ,were the US government and military leaders and they fucked them good.

No debriefing or real counseling for returning combat troops.No follow up or concern for their mental health.

This was the WW II generation and you went along with the program.Otherwise you`d be called a pussy,unpatriotic or crazy.

It was the government that abused our GIs,not the American people.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1276799/posts

In 1998 sociologist and Vietnam veteran Jerry Lembcke published "The Spitting Image: Myth, Media and the Legacy of Viet Nam." He recounts a study of 495 news stories on returning veterans published from 1965 to 1971. That study shows only a handful (32) of instances were presented as in any way antagonistic to the soldiers. There were no instances of spitting on soldiers; what spitting was reported was done by citizens expressing displeasure with protesters.

< Message edited by Owner59 -- 2/3/2008 9:33:50 PM >

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RE: Generation gap - 2/3/2008 9:36:12 PM

AxilX

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I'm not sure it's age related, but such an attitude is more pravalant in those who've served in the military. It's important to believe that what you are doing has some significance, when your putting your life on the line. You're taught that you follow orders unquestioning (i understand there is a stipulation the order has to be lawful, but i'm not going to get into that here) and that in doing so you're doing a great thing for your country. Assuming good leadership, this is true, unfortunately in situations like Iraq and Vietiam before it, there are times when soldiers lives are senselessly lost, and in these situations you're likely to sitr up feelings of hostility in veterans in service members. No, not all military personel think this way, but many do.

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RE: Generation gap - 2/3/2008 9:44:07 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Reminds me of that great Monty Python sketch where the dad is a big author/intellectual and constantly derides his son for being a labor worker and not doing "real mens work" and such. Hysterical really.

You have very different values and perspectives- I'd say don't bring up the subject since you know it can't be changed and stay true to what you know is valuable for yourself. Live your life for you.

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RE: Generation gap - 2/3/2008 9:58:09 PM

slaveboyforyou

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Thanks for all the comments. It does make me feel better. I love my dad, and I have always wanted to live up to his example. But, I never wanted to be miserable in the process. I give my dad a lot of credit. He worked his ass off to make sure we didn't go with out. He put up with a lof of shit too. My younger brother did 2 years in Tucker prison because of his idiotic antics. My father held us all together through out that. I was amazed how well he took it. My mother and I broke down in tears the day he had his trial. My father didn't say a word. He just organized us all together. My brother took his sentence like a man, and I attribute that to our upbringing. He got out and made good on his life; he is a carpenter. I attribute that to my father as well. I disagree with him about a lot of things. But it is hard for me to bad mouth him. He really did take care of us. I love him, I just don't understand him anymore.

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RE: Generation gap - 2/3/2008 10:04:09 PM

CalifChick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou

Why is he so angry? He has been that way since he retired.

You might have just answered your own question right there. Alot of men change after retirement. They may feel lost without their job, they may feel they are finally "old", they may feel a lot of things. Not uncommon for a huge change in disposition after retirement.

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RE: Generation gap - 2/3/2008 10:04:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Here's the link to the sketch, maybe it will give you a laugh and a bit of perspective:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLoVF7vcBtY

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