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The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 11:16:01 AM   
kuriousreturns


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline 		When is the use of petnames (i.e. hon, luv, baby, littleone, kitten, etc) and actions (i.e. hugging, kissing, spanking) appropriate? Are these things that should be reserved for P/partners and well-known F/friends? Does it differ depending upon an individual's gender or role (i.e. Dom, Master, sub, slave)? What are some resolutions in the case of two people who have different opinions or preferences that have been clearly stated (i.e. O/one commonly uses petnames or actions, and the O/other opposes the reference to petnames or actions). Would there be different resolutions for online and offline, or should both be treated the same?
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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 11:18:24 AM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline 		it all depends. i have a habit of referring to everyone as either babe or buddy depending on if i'm annoyed or not (babe if i'm happy buddy if i'm not). it's all in how they accept it. it probably wouldn't be that great of an idea when i'm register for example. when i'm with my friends i can be more lenient and even more so if i'm with my partner (s).


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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 11:19:40 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kuriousreturns
When is the use of petnames (i.e. hon, luv, baby, littleone, kitten, etc) and actions (i.e. hugging, kissing, spanking) appropriate?

Whenever you want them to be- though perhaps when giving a formal speech or at a funeral might not be the best times.

Also to note that many people have pet names for their masters.
quote:


Are these things that should be reserved for P/partners and well-known F/friends? Does it differ depending upon an individual's gender or role (i.e. Dom, Master, sub, slave)?

It depends on each individual relationship.

quote:

What are some resolutions in the case of two people who have different opinions or preferences that have been clearly stated (i.e. O/one commonly uses petnames or actions, and the O/other opposes the reference to petnames or actions)

Well you could hardline it and say whoever is in charge of such things just makes the rule and you go by that.  The person in charge could also make a limited context for which the terms are to be used.  Or they could make some compromise.

Really all depends on the people IN the relationship.
quote:


Would there be different resolutions for online and offline, or should both be treated the same?

Whatever works for you.

I appreciate you trying to get answers, but as much as you might want there to be, there is no set way of how things are done.  Even one person can have an entirely different set of protocols and expectations in different relationship with people.

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 11:22:03 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		My Master decides what pet names are acceptable between the two of us.

My friends & I exchange pet names all the time.

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 11:36:08 AM   
quick


Posts: 1053
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline 		I am shy and tend to be a very private person. I do not object to pet names per se, but some have a special meaning and a very personal effect. I prefer them to be used privately.

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 12:35:07 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		No one but my dom can call me pet names without getting a negative reaction. I call friends silly names at times, but honorific is reserved for my Dom.

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 12:40:03 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

When is the use of petnames (i.e. hon, luv, baby, littleone, kitten, etc) and actions (i.e. hugging, kissing, spanking) appropriate?


Whenever it makes both parties feel good and does not result in a surprise face slapping.


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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 1:37:08 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kuriousreturns

When is the use of petnames (i.e. hon, luv, baby, littleone, kitten, etc) and actions (i.e. hugging, kissing, spanking) appropriate?

When I'm actively taking charge of the girl, anything she asks better begin with "Sir" and any answer better end with it.  And her actions better be what I tell her to do!
 
At any other time, she may use pet names and hug, kiss etc at her own discretion.  Her "cues" come from me, especially my eyes when we're interacting.  It's not rocket science to discern when I'm her boss and owner from when I'm her partner.....


quote:

Are these things that should be reserved for P/partners and well-known F/friends?

Well, she better only be taking commands from *me*.

quote:

Does it differ depending upon an individual's gender or role (i.e. Dom, Master, sub, slave)?

Errrr, I'm the only individual she has to relate to in our relationship.

quote:

What are some resolutions in the case of two people who have different opinions or preferences that have been clearly stated (i.e. O/one commonly uses petnames or actions, and the O/other opposes the reference to petnames or actions). Would there be different resolutions for online and offline, or should both be treated the same?

Every individual has their own needs and expectations - you fix what's broken, including finding suitable compromises.
 
Focus. 

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 1:40:02 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		For us, pet names and affection is always appropriate. We don't use titles. Most parents tend to be less formal, less into ritual and protocol.

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 4:45:27 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

For us, pet names and affection is always appropriate. 


We, are the same way. Even when i call him my Owner, it's always with a little bit of affection in my voice.

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 6:35:45 PM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		For me (and those which I'm in a relationship with friends and otherwise) it's pretty much all the time. I love pet names, my best friend is called baby. My partners (past and persent) can be called all kinds of things. I pretty much keep pet names the same (offline and online) but I don't use all of them in public.  Now with pda I try to keep it appropriate. Middle of the mall is different then being alone at home.

This has nothing to do with roles or gender with me but is more about just how I relate to people.

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 7:47:58 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i belong to LadyPact and M'Lady can call me whatever she feels or wants to. i am honored just to be called by M'Lady 

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 9:24:21 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings kuriousreturns,

He calls me petnames often. i rarely do for Him, but just because it seems weird to do so ;) i do often use petnames for friends and even just acquaintances, though, and i'm extremely affectionate/touchy feely (He is not so much, but He's getting used to it). i also am pretty affectionate with my emotes online and i call people petnames through chat and such. unless someone specifically asks me not to do it, i do it, protocol be damned.

respectfully,
annabelle.


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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 9:53:27 PM   
UndertheRose


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		In our relationship, all petnames are fair game.
(Except for the rare few which PO master.)

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/2/2008 11:37:48 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		there's never a bad time for a well placed "luvie" in a conversation from either of us.  how we both ended up using the same pet name for each other i have no idea, but after five years, it's stuck. 

PM

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/3/2008 12:26:34 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		there is no time that petnames are not appropriate between us...no matter what we're doing

he is my wonderful Master, Daddy, Dark Knight, my Warrior King, my Vampire Priest.

occasionally "evil fucking bastard!"

my favorite one he has for me still has me in awe... "My most precious treasure".

kitten, who knows she is loved.

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/3/2008 3:09:11 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		Master often hugs/kisses/spanks me all at the same time (He's a multi-tasker).  i agree with LA that during a funeral may an inappropriate time.  Pet names?  i sometimes call Master the Prince of F**king Darkness and He calls me cumguzzler but more often He calls me baby and i call Him Master.

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/3/2008 3:46:08 AM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline 		I agree.. it really depends on the two people and however formal or non formal you wish to be.

I am terribly non formal. Unless I am actualy *in scene* I don't give a fig. I am a Southren gal... I call just about damn near every one hun, sweetie or even sugar if I really like them. If I am teasing some one I will even call em Sugar Britches. (One of my very handsome black male co-workers were perm. cursed with that nick name ~ he loved it!)
My girl usualy calls me Pookie or Mamita ( it's a Cuban thing *smiles* ) I usualy call her baby.. if she is acting like a snot.. I call her snot goblin. *smiles*

Back when I last  really "bottomed" and I had a very formal Dom it squicked him because I would call him booger. *chuckles* ~ well he was a booger.

as for out in public.. her and I are very affectionate. I think a funeral is where you need to be prim and proper.. and of course you shouldnt play grab ass out in public.. or huge amounts of PDA (tonsil hockey, groping.. ya know stuff teenagers do on the bus)
But holding hands and stuff is cool. ( IMO)

As for resolutions.. you just talk about it together and if one is squicked by it.. ask why? As with all things in life there needs to be compromise and balance.

Gwyn

< Message edited by Gwynvyd -- 2/3/2008 3:47:12 AM >

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/3/2008 1:19:15 PM   
kuriousreturns


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline 		Many thanks to A/all who took time to read and respond to my posting; but it appears that the main emphasis of my question has been misunderstood. my intent was to focus on the use of petnames and actions being used administered by O/one who is NOT an individual's Dom/Master or sub/slave. i will reconstruct my question in a new post titled "The use of petnames and actions by someone other than O/ones partner".

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RE: The use of petnames and actions - 2/3/2008 1:21:56 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Same answer- depends on the relationship.

Petnames are a symbol of social intimacy.  People who break that social intimacy, presume such where none exists, or apply it improperly are going to have problems. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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