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SayaNereida -> RE: Deciding what you wanted (2/2/2008 5:16:38 PM)
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1. How did you decide what you sought in a P/partner?
By learning and knowing myself, of course there were a few not so good choices along the way that helped as well.
2. How long did it take?
Umm...I'm 40, so about 40 years.
3. Have you relinquished that for someone who made your reason turn to mush?
Well, I've relinquished what I thought I sought for the sake of my Um and I've relinquished for the sake of what I thought was saftey and security; both of these ended up being the not so good choices I learned from.
Thankfully, Ryu turns me to mush and he fits with what I sought in a partner.
4. What of your list of ideal "stuff" would you never ever bend on?
Part of my 'ideal stuff" is based on finding and being with one that fits that ideal.
The ability to enjoy life: while circumstances and life can require being serious, being able to not take themselves or life so seriously that they become a shell of a person going through life.
A willingness and ability to comminicate clearly and admit when communication isn't clear.
The willingness and ability to commit to the relationship.
The willingness to dream and the ability to accept reality.
The willingness and ability to show and accept affection: kisses, hugs, etc.
Knowing ones comfort zone and having the willingness and ability to step out of it to learn and grow.
Being willing to think, act, speak, feel, in terms of 'we' not "I"; as partners what affects one affects both.
5. Is your desire today different than it was when you started and why?
For a partner, no, my desires remain the same. The things I'm willing to compromise on have changed.
In the past I was willing to accept feeling 'less than' for my partners sake. I've learned that I cannot be a full partner if I do not feel like a full person.
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