Does he want me back? (Full Version)

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Obezyanka -> Does he want me back? (1/30/2008 10:05:44 PM)

My story is complicated to say the least. I had been seeing this guy for two years (during that time he was trying to breakup with me but I was to blind to see it.) Finally we broke up and we went our sepreate ways. he found himself a lover via the internet who isn't a decent person (11 years his senior, 21 years my senior) and she has FIVE kids and was an ex-heroin addict and she lives interstate.

He went with her a few months and even told my cousin that this woman was a better lover then me (this was a week after I confessed my feelings, it hurt a lot when he said that) although he did say I was better looking then the other lady. He then went on to say he didn't want to get back with me and hoped I find someone while he was gone.

Finally he returned to our town and he kept bringing this woman up for a few weeks. Lately I noticed he isn't talking about this woman or what he did interstate. He also has been hanging around me. Last night he stayed over until 12:45 am.

We went out last week in my car and when I went to drop him off he stayed in the car for about three or four minutes when I pulled over.

He hasn't directly said anything about his feelings but he seems to be trying to get cosy with me. Not in a physical way more just hanging around etc. Also he told my grandmother he knew I would never forgive him for what he did with that woman and he expressed that I could go over to his place when I wanted to and he also offered to help me with maths at Uni.

I'm getting confused does this guy want me back?




MissMagnolia -> RE: Does he want me back? (1/30/2008 10:08:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Obezyanka
he found himself a lover via the internet who isn't a decent person (11 years his senior, 21 years my senior) and she has FIVE kids and was an ex-heroin addict and she lives interstate.



Sheesh, what a monster!!! How could he?

Grow a brain. [8|]





Obezyanka -> RE: Does he want me back? (1/30/2008 10:11:33 PM)

LOL, yeah well I don't want to get back with him.  But it's just odd all of a sudden that he has taken an unusal interest in me again. 




pahunkboy -> RE: Does he want me back? (1/31/2008 4:32:49 AM)

sounds like he wants a guarantee




venusinblu -> RE: Does he want me back? (1/31/2008 4:38:12 AM)

Sounds like there are an awful lot of people messing your relationships, cousins, grannys ..  Heresay is the most distorted form of information you can get.

Sounds to me like this chap needs to grow up a bit too.  If any man discussed me or his relationship or non-relationship with me with my family members I'd never speak to him again.






RCdc -> RE: Does he want me back? (1/31/2008 4:44:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Obezyanka
he found himself a lover via the internet who isn't a decent person (11 years his senior, 21 years my senior) and she has FIVE kids and was an ex-heroin addict and she lives interstate.



Gosh she sounds absolutely awful. [8|]</sarcasm>  Know what I see from that description - a kick ass woman who kicked a terrible habit and kept her family together.  She rocks.
I am going to sound harsh, but you really need to buy a clue by four.  Your whole post is passive-aggressive oh poor me.  Does it matter if he wants you back or not?  Only to you.  Ask him directly and deal with it.  Seriously, use your brain.
 
the.dark.




Lashra -> RE: Does he want me back? (1/31/2008 4:47:42 AM)

No I doubt it, she probably dumped him and he probably wants to get laid.  It sounds to me like your really hung up on him and maybe your reading too much into what is going on.  If you really want this guy back, act like you don't want him and I bet he comes around. Although you may want to consider, do you REALLY want him?

~Lashra




LadyHathor -> RE: Does he want me back? (1/31/2008 5:00:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Obezyanka

LOL, yeah well I don't want to get back with him.  But it's just odd all of a sudden that he has taken an unusal interest in me again. 


If you don't want him back, why are you entertaining him at the wee courting hours?




sub4hire -> RE: Does he want me back? (1/31/2008 8:17:50 AM)

It doesn't matter how many kids the woman has or if she was a heroin addict.  He chose her, plain as that.
You were seeing him for 2 years and the entire time he did not want to be with you.  Yet, he stayed because he didn't know how to break up.
When something better came along(doesn't matter if she was better or not, he thought so) he dumped you for what was better.
He may have realized he made a mistake...he may still be with her.  Just not able to tell her, hoping he finds something better.
Sounds like he cannot be alone.  Anything is better than nothing.

So, do you want him back knowing full well you are not going to be good enough for him.  You state yourself you never were.  Do you want him back knowing full well he is going to keep you until he finds something better again then dump you.

It sounds like you do want him back.  You are hanging out with him...etc.  Building your own self esteem and gloating a bit at the same time.  Yet the two of you never even had the talk about where she is still. 
You need to make this decision but I think somewhere inside of you, you already know what it should be.






fluffyswitch -> RE: Does he want me back? (1/31/2008 8:21:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

No I doubt it, she probably dumped him and he probably wants to get laid.  It sounds to me like your really hung up on him and maybe your reading too much into what is going on.  If you really want this guy back, act like you don't want him and I bet he comes around.



principle of least interest--the least interested partner holds the most power in the relationship becaue the more interested is dependent on their actions to be able to make a move.




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