RE: Death of a slave

RE: Death of a slave (Full Version)

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Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Death of a slave (1/28/2008 12:01:03 AM)
I'm gonna say this.. does not really matter if it's D/s or not. A death of somebody close in your life is a loss. D/s or not, it does not matter. You have to cope and deal with it, and now is a good time for a support system. Just because it was D/s or M/s.. does not.. how to say bluntly without offending you. There is not special needs or anything special about a D/s loss verses a non-D/s loss. Death is Death and it takes it toll on people close to those that die or are killed. Death rock everybody. D/s has very little to do with it.

Rule -> RE: Death of a slave (1/28/2008 5:06:35 AM)
I am sorry for your loss. Death of a loved one is like an amputation. Perhaps even more so in a master/slave relationship, in which the slave is an extension of the master. I lost my eldest brother a couple of weeks ago. Do get hugs from real live people. May the God of the Dead take care of him. May the perpetrators be held accountable.

MistressOfGa -> RE: Death of a slave (1/28/2008 5:12:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyJane I have spent some effort in considering the consequences to the slave/submissive in the event of their Dominant's death. What has confounded Me is the vacuum of consideration of the Dominant when the slave/submisisve dies. I had not even considered this aspect! My slave mcbarker died suddenly on Saturday evening last week. W/we were in a tpe and his death has rocked Me more than I knew could be possible. I have received support from Crime Victims and Officer Support--I appreciate that. What I would like to find, if it exists, is a support unit for those in D/s. Does anyone have knowledge of such? I am very much interested in this subject. Lady Jane, I am so very sorry for your loss, I can't imagine the pain you must be going through. I have looked around a bit to see if I could find a kink friendly support group for you. I have a couple of links that may help. I hope that they do. http://www.ncsfreedom.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1 National Coalition For Sexual Freedom http://www.fuah.org/index.html Families United Against Hate. Kink Friendly.

thetammyjo -> RE: Death of a slave (1/28/2008 5:35:30 AM)
That's a very hard hit, LadyJane. You have my empathy. I know I would hurt like hell, probably feel very much like my heart was ripped up if Fox died. I think the grieving process though will be the same as with any loss so until/if you find a kink specific support group you might want to consider vanilla ones and just say that you were lifelong partners.

Master96 -> RE: Death of a slave (1/28/2008 5:54:40 AM)
I'm very sorry for your loss........ lights a candle in mcbarker's name

BlackPhx -> RE: Death of a slave (1/28/2008 6:10:52 AM)
Both Master's and my heart go out to you. This is something that is on our minds as well as I am older than him by some years. There is nothing however that can ease the pain, despite all people say, time does not do it when the death is due to a crime. The pain of my sons murder is just as fresh today as it was 15 years ago, I just do not think of it as often. If you ever need to talk, vent, or even just share, know that we are here and willing. You can find a kink aware grief counselor, lawyer and therapist here http://www.ncsfreedom.org/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=75 they cover a great many countries, not just the U.S. Someone who understands the dynamics of such a relationship may be of more help than your average grief counselor. You may also find support in a group like Parents of Murdered Children http://www.pomc.org/ . Despite the title they work to provide support and assistance to all survivors of homicide victims. This assistance is emotional, grief counseliong, helping you through the legal system and supporting you through dealing with it. Sad to say, the legal system can in it's own way "victimize" you, as it becomes the State against the perpetrator and your loss is only a consideration in summation. Rarely are the survivors considered during any plea bargins. Please stay in touch, and if there is anything we can do, please don't hesitate. poenkitten

angelikaJ -> RE: Death of a slave (1/28/2008 6:14:55 AM)
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your desire to find support from others who understand...perhaps if you can contact some of the munches and such in your local community you might be pointed towards someone who has been through the loss of a slave. Meanwhile... seek out what ever grief services that are in your area...and the comfort of friends. I am truly sorry. aJ

Justme696 -> RE: Death of a slave (1/28/2008 7:27:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyJane I have spent some effort in considering the consequences to the slave/submissive in the event of their Dominant's death. What has confounded Me is the vacuum of consideration of the Dominant when the slave/submisisve dies. I had not even considered this aspect! My slave mcbarker died suddenly on Saturday evening last week. W/we were in a tpe and his death has rocked Me more than I knew could be possible. I have received support from Crime Victims and Officer Support--I appreciate that. What I would like to find, if it exists, is a support unit for those in D/s. Does anyone have knowledge of such? I am very much interested in this subject. Hello :( my deepest condolences.. Hope you have friends around talking to you. A friend that can listen and has a shoulder to cry on does mirracles. May I ask why you ask for a special support unit for D/s? Isn't life and the loss of life not universal?

ItalianSMistress -> RE: Death of a slave (1/28/2008 9:59:47 AM)
I am so very sorry for your loss.

AFlyInYourWeb -> RE: Death of a slave (1/28/2008 11:22:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyJane My slave mcbarker died suddenly on Saturday evening last week. W/we were in a tpe and his death has rocked Me more than I knew could be possible. What I would like to find, if it exists, is a support unit for those in D/s. Does anyone have knowledge of such? I am very much interested in this subject. I would like to express my condolences, too. I was going to leave it at that until I read Lady Pact's moving post. It compels me to share the fact that I suffered an unexpected and sudden loss of a partner almost two decades ago. We all have different ways of dealing with such grief. In my case, it took me many months of wrestling with my emotions before the resolution came to me quite by accident. One day the mail arrived, and there was an invitation to the annual fund-raising dinner of the local Humane Society...one of her biggest passions. I decided to attend that dinner, and afterwards, I started dropping by the shelter a couple of times a month to volunteer my time. Somehow, performing this little "service" for a cause she loved helped me to heal.

PanthersMom -> RE: Death of a slave (1/28/2008 11:48:46 AM)
my sympathies at your loss. may the tears give way to smiles with treasured memories. PM

LaTigresse -> RE: Death of a slave (1/28/2008 11:58:16 AM)
My deepest sympathies. I have walked in those shoes, and not all that long ago. It is very painful.

MistressVnus -> RE: Death of a slave (1/29/2008 12:59:55 AM)
Lady Jane... I want to extend my heart felt condolences. Nothing I can say will relieve your feelings of grief or loss but if it's any consolation, I have no doubt your slave is still very much with you in "spirit." If you ever want someone to share with who has much understanding and empathy with your situation, please feel free to email me anytime.

parttimehotty -> RE: Death of a slave (1/29/2008 7:30:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave I'm gonna say this.. does not really matter if it's D/s or not. A death of somebody close in your life is a loss. D/s or not, it does not matter. You have to cope and deal with it, and now is a good time for a support system. Just because it was D/s or M/s.. does not.. how to say bluntly without offending you. There is not special needs or anything special about a D/s loss verses a non-D/s loss. Death is Death and it takes it toll on people close to those that die or are killed. Death rock everybody. D/s has very little to do with it. Thank you, Owner4, that's exactly what i was thinking/couldn't think of a respectiful way to voice these same thoughts. LadyJane, i'm so very sorry, so very, very sorry.

meticulousgirl -> RE: Death of a slave (1/29/2008 10:48:38 AM)
so sorry to hear of your loss ~meticulous~

veteranojugueton -> RE: Death of a slave (1/29/2008 5:56:15 PM)
My condolences to you and I hope you may find soon the way to accept and handle this hard and sadly loss. However in physical absence, his soul will be inside you, and your thoughts will fly searching him everywhere. I hope you may soon realize that he will be with you forever, and perhaps more closer than ever. God bless both you.

LadyJane -> RE: Death of a slave (1/29/2008 10:10:35 PM)
I am so very moved and appreciative of all the deeply caring comments so many took time to ponder and write. Thank you so very much, all of you. A friend of mine arranged for me to have some time with Darshan Zenith of Maui. He is visiting in my area at this time. I had a 3-4 hour appointment with him--conversation, philosophy, a special set of cards to draw from, deep breathing and lomi lomi massage. At the end, I felt like the pain of the grief had been lifted. Sure, grief was still there, but not the negative energy of it. Wonderful gift from a very dear friend. I am president of the Triskeli Guild (www.triskeli.org) in Bellingham, alas to say, this community has had only limited experience with death among its members. It is my belief that those of us engaged in power exchange have a degree of symbiotic relationship that does not exist in ordinary vanilla relationships. Time and time again, as I have had contact with slaves and submissives who lost their dominant due to that individual's death, these individuals have a degree of loss beyond the ordinary expression. This is the core thought I am giving to the impact of death on a D/s relationship. I argue that there is more to this and the grieving a loss in a D/s relationship is more profound (how I can not yet say) than in most vanilla relationships. My boy was cremated today. On Sunday his life is to be celebrated. Warm regards, Lady Jane

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