Do you dislike compliments? (Full Version)

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Einzelganger -> Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 12:47:49 PM)

I've been turning this over and over in my mind for months, and wondering if any of you subs/slaves feel the same way, or have the same reactions.

Any time someone compliments me or praises me for something, be it a performance, something I fixed or set-up on their car, my boss telling me I'm doing a good job, or general compliments from friends, I feel embarassed, I blush, I feel put on the spot, and I would almost say it's humiliating...well, actually it is, when in front of a group of people.  It's very uncomfortable...I find myself wishing they'd just let me do what I'm going to do for them, and forget about it...or at least not tell me to my face.  Asking them not to would be rude, so I usually just stand there looking stupid and thank them, all the while wishing I could become invisible.

Do any of you feel this way?  If so, do you do anything about it, or think of it a different way, so it's not as bad?  This probably seems like a really stupid question, but everyone I've actually asked about it likes getting compliments...so I was wondering, is it something common among subs/slaves, or am I really that weird?  Thanks in advance for your time. *smiles*

-Einzelgänger



Raechard -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 12:54:50 PM)

I feel the same it is almost easier when people hate me or are hateful towards me because I don’t have to be grateful for that. It’s just the awkwardness of it I suppose but that is a general life thing and I don’t think it is specific to a certain role here.[8|]



EponasChylde -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 12:58:58 PM)

I love receiving compliments, so long as I feel they are genuine. I smile graciously, say thank you, and go on about my business.

I'm proud of things I do, and appreciate it when others notice.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 12:59:34 PM)

I think it is an issue of self image, more than it is of submission.  If you feel unworthy of compliments, you will likely feel awkward and weird about receiving them.  Learning to appreciate that others see good in you is valuable, and helps you receive compliments with a smile and a thank you.



batshalom -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 1:00:55 PM)

Ownedgirlie, you said it. ~smiling~



softness -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 1:00:57 PM)

It really depends ... I love compliments about myself, my hair, my clothes, some cooking .. something like that .. they make me glow .. but that has not always been the case.

At work, I cant take any compliments or praise about how i do my job, they make me seriously uneasy .. which is odd




sweetwenchie -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 1:02:25 PM)

i do not actively dislike compliments, for me it is more that i find compliments extremely embarrassing.  It is hard to accept them graciously.  i've been working on it, but am beginning to think they will always make me blush and try to hide behind my hair as i thank the person offering it.  



ProlificNeeds -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 1:07:05 PM)

I use to have trouble with compliments, almost wondering if someone was patronizing or trying to be overly kind. A nice Dom who didn't tolerate my silliness taught me how to realize I deserve those compliments, and should show proper gratitude for being recognized and acknowledge by those around me. Now I feel pride and pleasure from compliments, and am always thankful people notice and appreciate me and my hard work.



darchChylde -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 1:15:11 PM)

i'd don't dislike compliments, i actually love being complimented; i just get really embarassed and can't handle them.  But it works out fine and dandy, as Ma'am is totally amused and entertained when i get all squirmy.



rubberpet -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 1:26:47 PM)

Hell no...I love receiving compliments, but only if they are sincere.  I don't get embarrassed or uncomfortable.  I smile and say thank you.  If Mistress praises me for a job well done, it makes me feel proud and appreciated because She took notice of my accomplishment for Her.  My bosses at work never compliment me on a job well done, but that's just because they are a bunch of assholes to start with.  LOL [:D]



takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 1:36:49 PM)

i am the same way, but when my Owner prasies me, the Heavens open up, angels sing and i soar up into the clouds. it happens everytime.



fullofgrace69 -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 1:39:54 PM)

i get really shy and nervous when people compliement me, i start wondering what the catch is, but than im pessimistic and can't understand why people would compliement me :)



eyesopened -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 1:43:36 PM)

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1556720



SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 1:54:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fullofgrace69

i get really shy and nervous when people compliement me, i start wondering what the catch is, but than im pessimistic and can't understand why people would compliement me :)


Ay, that's the rub. You have to (1) believe that you deserve the compliment, (2) trust that the person is sincere in giving the compliment, and (3) believe that the person is astute enough to recognize beauty or accomplishment in the area in which the compliment is given.

For instance, if a musician compliments me on my singing, I am going to be thrilled. I may turn bright red and stammer, but that's not because I don't believe I deserve the compliment; it's because I'm being complimented by someone who KNOWS what good singing is. If I am told I look younger than my calendar age, or have pretty eyes or hair, well, I don't have to be embarrassed about it. i just smile and say, "Good DNA."

The trick for me is turning it into a compliment about something I had nothing to do with (like DNA), or recognizing in turn the position from which the compliment comes. In the instance of a compliment of my singing, I might say, "Thank you. That means a lot to me, coming from someone with your training and skill."

If my boss complimented me on work well done, I said, "Thank you. So when do I get my raise?" That might not work with some bosses, but it always did with mine.



CalifChick -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 2:02:27 PM)

FR

For me, my reaction depends on whether I think the compliment is warranted or not.  For instance, if someone compliments me on how I handle my life as a single person in the life of ums, I have a hard time with that one.  Yes, it takes a lot of work, alot of juggling, and it takes its toll on me.  But to be complimented for that?  Makes me think, "but I HAVE to do this, what are the alternatives??  I HAVE to take care of my family, there is no choice."  Not that I don't WANT to, but "want" is not part of the equation.

Now if someone compliments me on my job, my writing, my cooking, my crafts, or something like that, I can accept that graciously.

Cali



lilacs -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 2:39:25 PM)

~FR~

I used to have a really hard time being able to accept compliments.  I used to blush and feel uncomfortable.  As others have indicated, most of it was because I had problems with my self esteem and didn't feel like I deserved the compliments.  As my self esteem has gotten better, I've learned to smile and realize that most of the time when *I* compliment someone I'm doing it in order to express my honest gratitude and appreciation in some way, so it's likely the other person is doing the same.  Now I can just smile and say thank you and tell them I appreciate the compliment.



adoracat -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 2:42:48 PM)

~fast reply~
i grew up being called stupid, ugly, worthless, etc., then married a guy who did the same thing.  so for me, getting compliments on *me* are very bewildering.  compliments on something i *do*, i understand.

kitten



littlebitxxx -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 3:18:33 PM)

Understand that one, adoracat.  I used to always refute compliments or argue with the person.  Then I was asked "Why?  Do you feel like you're not worth a kind word?"  Kinda made me think.  I now have very little trouble accepting compliments on what I do, for I always strive to do my best and the recognition of that goes a long way.  But for compliments on "me"....I just smile and say thank you whether I agree with them or not.  Sometimes just graciously accepting is choosing the right battle.



KatyLied -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 3:22:47 PM)

I like compliments.  I do not like condescension.



sweetwenchie -> RE: Do you dislike compliments? (1/27/2008 3:36:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1556720


your words definitely gave me something to think about.  Thank you very much for the link, i had missed that posting.  The last line especially, i will  have to save that. ~smile~



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