RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (Full Version)

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MistressOfGa -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 6:11:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr

I would say as long as it is all in good fun, and I started it... I am tough enough to take anything I can dish out :P


Ditto. And I am not just saying that because you complimented my post [:D][:D][:D]



 

 

 



gypsygrl -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 6:47:26 PM)

Every once in a while, my sense of humor kicks in and I tease my Master.  He seems to enjoy it, but, having watched him and his wife go at it, I know better than to really get into a banter fest with him.  They're pretty brutal by my standards and I could never take joking to the level they take it. (It took me a while to get used to their style of joking around.)  His tolerance for me being a smart-ass is probably much higher than my ability to be a smart-ass, so its not something I worry too much about.  My humor tends to be self-depreciating or it takes the form of observations about things none of us are personally involved in, and I rarely make fun of individuals I'm close with.  There's so many other things to find humor in that it seems unecessary.



givingin -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 6:51:30 PM)

Sometimes I give back as good as I get, sometimes I start the whole thing.  We don't really try to stop that type of thing in our relationship.  As long as things are in good fun, we don't see a problem with it.  I think people take life way too seriously sometimes and need to learn to loosen up.  If you can't laugh at yourself or situations once in a while, then I feel you have some very big issues.

Of course my dom and I don't have tons of rules in our lives anyway.  We just take things as they come and enjoy being with each other.  That can mean fun ribbing, or him having me pinned down with a knife at my throat.

It all just is.



LadyPact -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 6:57:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

Ok, here are my questions:

1:  In a casual environment between a Dominant or Submissive (or Master/Mistress and slave) where there are good-natured teasing and insults going; do the Dominants allow their submissives to return the favor and tease or insult them? 

2:  If the Dominants do allow their submissives to tease or insult them, where is the line drawn?

3:  How do the submissives feel about zinging their Dominants with a good-natured insult or two?  Are you up to it, or can you not see yourself do it?

4:  Basically, where does it stop being friendly teasing and start being a breach of protocol?

Please remember, this is assuming that you are in a casual environment, such as home; and not at a Lifestyle event.


1.  Tease, joke, play.... yes.  I don't think the word insult matches.

2.  The line is drawn when it is bad protocol or when it is hurtful, rather than playful.

3.  My clip definitely knows how to get the zingers in there.  Also, he has this exurberance when chuckling at his own joke that is very endearing.

4.  When it becomes disrespectful, to either Myself or the dynamic.  If the boundary has been broken, it's rather obvious.



sweetwenchie -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 7:03:53 PM)

i am extremely playful, and enjoy verbal bantering.  There is a time that it is alright to cut loose and have fun, and a time to remember my place [;)]  As long as i am aware of the lines and do not cross them, i cannot see it being a problem.  At least it has not been much of a problem for me in the past.  Ah, and i should add that any verbal bantering i engage in does not cross over into out and out disrespect.



MMagicsfaith1 -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 7:16:17 PM)

1.  i am fortunate to have a Master with a rapier wit and an excellent sense of humor.  He can "take" as well as He "gives".  He always appreciates a good zinger given in fun.  W/we both believe that humor, even a good "tease" or "zinger", and laughter can be an integral part of a D/s relationship.
 
2.  As in any relationship....insults, hurtful or spiteful comments trying to hide behind the cloak of humor are unnecessary, irreverent and unacceptable.  This is one rule that is applied equally in O/our exchanges.  There have been times when apologies have been made as a result of carrying the teasing a little too far.
 
3.  Oh...lol...i am definitely up to it.  Master is usually quite proud of me when i manage to zing Him.   His laughter and broad smile are always worth the effort.
 
4.  A hard question to answer.  Usually i can tell when Master has had enough levity simply by His look so this issue has never really arisen.  i would think that anything past this point would breach protocol even in a casual environment.  
 
In more formal settings, He still allows me a great deal of freedom to excercise my wit and humor.  However, in these situations, i am much more conscious of what i am saying,  how it is said and how it will be perceived by the others present, thus differing from the more relaxed spontaneous air when W/we are alone. 



MagiksSlave -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 7:43:56 PM)

David has always been a very good sport when it comes to teasing, not only does he take teasing from me (and he gives as good as he gets) but him and my sisters (who I am very close with) send teases back and forth as well it is very funny to see him intereact with the older of my younger sisters, she is constantly teasing him (they love to hate eachother) and he feilds the insults well and sends them right back at her, at the end of our conversations we are all in stitches!!

I dont think I could ever be with anyone that could not take playing around and good natured teasing.




schoenekitty -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 7:52:11 PM)

I sometimes find that playful banter is difficult because although I love to do it, and my master may like it when I do, he sometimes says that I'm not acting in a manner appropriate of a slave and that he's going to punish me (which is- I suppose- his own way of joking because he never really does or he taps me lightly on the butt) which sometimes I feel like I've done something wrong. I s'pose no hard done though because I still joke in spite of the butt smacks[8D]



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 8:29:10 PM)

I grew up in a huge family of teasers..so thus I know how to take as well as receive..But some people do not come from such a background, and you have to be careful that your teasing cannot be misconstrued..So to me the best answer is to know your Dominant well..even maybe experiement with a few quips to see how it is taken, and go from there..My thoughts are if the Dominant is right out there teasing and joking and quipping away, then you should feel fairly free to do so as well..I am sure you will be stopped if it goes too far, dont you??..~wink~..Tempting



KindLadyGrey -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 8:41:28 PM)

I like to be incredibly inconsistent about whether teasing is or is not okay. Sometimes I just giggle and kiss the boy on the head. Other times I throw him against a wall. It keeps him on his toes :)



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 8:41:32 PM)

For me, insults and smacks are total signs of love and intimacy.  Just tonight my partner made a witty comment and I smacked my hand lightly on his- and caught one of his rings on my knuckle.  THAT cracked him up.

Really, as long as it's in good fun and sweet, there is no limit.  If one of us wants to be serious and set a mood, then we explicitly say so and sincerely try for a good ten minutes until we do something that cracks us up again :)



EvilKitty -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 8:51:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

Ok, here are my questions:

1:  In a casual environment between a Dominant or Submissive (or Master/Mistress and
  slave) where there are good-natured teasing and insults going; do the Dominants
  allow their submissives to return the favor and tease or insult them? 

2:  If the Dominants do allow their submissives to tease or insult them, where is the line
  drawn?

3:  How do the submissives feel about zinging their Dominants with a good-natured
  insult or two?  Are you up to it, or can you not see yourself do it?

4:  Basically, where does it stop being friendly teasing and start being a breach of protocol?

Please remember, this is assuming that you are in a casual environment, such as home; and not at a Lifestyle event.

My wretched boy has long become accustomed to the slack I cut him when in casual times. He's a terrrrrible tease with a plethora of horrid puns. And yes, he "zings" me on occasion. If he crosses the line; I know it when I start to get annoyed. He knows it when I come up out of my chair & whack him across the top of his pointy, little head. No, not THAT little head; the one on top of his shoulders.
Or, he'll know it when I draw back an arm & whack him neatly in the 'nads.
Lady Cat



MaamJay -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 10:32:44 PM)

Lots of joking and teasing and calling each other ratbag here LOL! But on both sides, only within the boundaries of humour, fun and pleasantry, not hurtful insults. Where either of U/us have crossed the line inadvertently, it has been sorted out with discussion and a mental note made for the future. i almost consider it my JOB to make Master laugh about something new every day! W/we tend to be the same whether in lifestyle public or not, but then the group W/we mostly associated with were equally relaxed, low protocol, laidback in style.

I think it's been refreshing to read how many willingly engage in banter ... just affirms My belief that most of the folks on collarme are "real" (in whatever connotation you want to take that LOL!)

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



Emperor1956 -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 10:55:00 PM)

FR:   Shakes His Head.  Being a Dominant of the First Order of the Black and Blue Lorded Knights, and seriously involved in this lifestyle since 1962 (I was born in 1956), and having trained in the Olde Guarde of East Anglican Trouser Baggers where I was forced to submit for my first 50 years and then allowed the Ring Of Great Dominant Power, I can only say that those of you so-called "Doms" who allow your submissives to sass, tweak, twitter or joke are besmirching the one, TRUE way of all Dominance are are a discredit to those of Us Who Know Better.

I now return to My Dungeon Home and await another submissive who wishes to learn the real meaning of WIIWD.  The last one left in 1978...

E.

Edited to clarify.  I NEVER make a mistake.



darchChylde -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 11:32:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

FR:   Shakes His Head.  Being a Dominant of the First Order of the Black and Blue Lorded Knights, and seriously involved in this lifestyle since 1962 (I was born in 1956), and having trained in the Olde Guarde of East Anglican Trouser Baggers where I was forced to submit for my first 50 years and then allowed the Ring Of Great Dominant Power, I can only say that those of you so-called "Doms" who allow your submissives to sass, tweak, twitter or joke are besmirching the one, TRUE way of all Dominance are are a discredit to those of Us Who Know Better.

I now return to My Dungeon Home and await another submissive who wishes to learn the real meaning of WIIWD.  The last one left in 1978...

E.

Edited to clarify.  I NEVER make a mistake.


gods, you made me spray Mountain Dew; Emporer... and i'm drinking water



Vendaval -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/23/2008 11:46:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

Ok, here are my questions:

1:  In a casual environment between a Dominant or Submissive (or Master/Mistress and slave) where there are good-natured teasing and insults going; do the Dominants  allow their submissives to return the favor and tease or insult them? 

In most settings and situations yes, during formal or high protocal times, no.


2:  If the Dominants do allow their submissives to tease or insult them, where is the line drawn?

They have to know the limits of my temper and general mood at the time.

3:  How do the submissives feel about zinging their Dominants with a good-natured
  insult or two?  Are you up to it, or can you not see yourself do it?

  They both like to tease me.


4:  Basically, where does it stop being friendly teasing and start being a breach of  protocol?

When someone gets hurt, insulted or angry.

Please remember, this is assuming that you are in a casual environment, such as home; and not at a Lifestyle event.



Justme696 -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/24/2008 2:54:43 AM)

quote:

1:  In a casual environment between a Dominant or Submissive (or Master/Mistress and
   slave) where there are good-natured teasing and insults going; do the Dominants
   allow their submissives to return the favor and tease or insult them? 

2:  If the Dominants do allow their submissives to tease or insult them, where is the line
   drawn?

3:  How do the submissives feel about zinging their Dominants with a good-natured
   insult or two?  Are you up to it, or can you not see yourself do it?

4:  Basically, where does it stop being friendly teasing and start being a breach of protocol?


VEry nice post;

yes jokes / insults depends. Insults depends on what they are...teasing ones ok...but watch how your partner reacts. If they hurt, then it is not fun
It is respect..as with all other friends. I don't want them hurt. And..never insult their position. The things with insults is, they might be used later in real fights.
Little irrations in time can build up and explode.





Dnomyar -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/24/2008 5:10:35 AM)

So far it seems like people on here can take a joke. Some people can not take any joking. They take everything as a slight. Some people are born to bitch about everything. If they werent born that way then they were brought up that way. Im on both side of that fence. I joke and I bitch. Grins a happy medium. Jokes are a good way to relieve tension.



Dnomyar -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/24/2008 5:12:50 AM)

Jeff on your quotes. Always step forward no matter what the cost. Scratches head. What if your at the edge of a cliff???  Only fear what you love??? What does that mean.



SailingBum -> RE: Friendly joking and teasing, where do you draw the line? (1/24/2008 5:32:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss

While i think it is important to have that friendship element, like the one who typed in blue said, it is important also to know where that envelope is. For myself i am aware and will not do the insult(ing) part(even if meant in a jokingly way) of this post. Teasing, bantering, jousting whatever you wish to call it is fine, and it is that way (imho) because you do have that base for friendship. You just have to be aware i think.


nods.  I don't do insults.  Unless calling her my fuck hole is a insult inl your book. It doesn't happen to be one in mine.

BadOne



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