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ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

I am going to be an odd ball here and go with thinking a ds relationship poses a greater emotional risk then a nilla.  I know what people say - nill and ds is the same, but different.  I have personally found for myself that ds is an extreme emotional risk.  In nilla relationship, I do not go about "exposing" myself emotionally.  Things do not go to any depth of a level that I have found them to go to in a ds r/s.  IMO in a ds r/s there is a giving of ones self.  There is more manipulation (on the D's part), more brainwashing, more finding when the sub is vunerable to effect certian changes, more of a need to dive into the sub's brain to find out who the sub is - how they tick - why they tick the way they do - and how to take that tick and direct it in a direction.  I don't know about you folks, but I don't know many nilla relationships where a partner purposefully gets in the other's head to manage them into a direction of the D's desire.  IMO its that "purposefully getting into another's head to manage them towards a direction" that leads to the emotional vulnerability.  Its also the will and want of a submissive to be lead in the direction their D wants them to be lead in that leads them to open up and leave themselves vulnerable.  The whole journal writing that many Dom's have their subs do (never heard of it in a nilla r/s) is a great way to get inside of some one's head.  There are many tools that D's use to get inside of an S's head and often they are used for good.  Unfortunetly these tool's can also be used for bad.  They are often tool's that nilla's don't have.

IMO - I think its very dangerous and very risky and if you have a history of picking bad partners, it would be very very wise to pick your partners here very very carefully. I think in the BDSM realm one must have a very good ability (tried and true) to be able to pick a good partner.   I agree, bad things happen every where, but I believe in the bdsm realm it can happen a bit more.  There is also the sad fact that a lot of abusers hide under the guise of BDSM.