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RE: Getting back into things - 1/21/2008 3:30:55 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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you might want to think about having your hormone levels checked; seriously; not to make you decide one way or the other on whether or not you want to get back into the swing of things, but rather to confirm why you feel wishy washy about things you once understood to be an absolute for you, and for a mirage of other reasons, of course!

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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Post #: 21

RE: Getting back into things - 1/21/2008 4:10:23 PM

LadyLolly

Posts: 140
Joined: 5/21/2005
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Now see, with more information/explanation you've answered your own question. Need to get "you" back. Aren't yourself right now. Depression from any source/cause will throw off the libedo. Re-stabalizing with meds or without them - of course you're out of whack and disorientated. Refrain from making ANY important life decisions that can be avoided until you are you again.

Hang in there.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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Post #: 22

RE: Getting back into things - 1/21/2008 7:26:07 PM

RoughFN

Posts: 197
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

After a long extended break I find that I dont know if I want to get back into the swing of things, I dont know if I want to go back to BDSM but I dont know if I want to give it up eather. I was never wishy washy about it before it has been something I have wanted since I was old enough to understand my desires but now my lack of interest is disconserting to say the least. Has anyone els lost the spark and if you have how did you get it back?

Yes. I kinda lost interest in it a few times over the years. A few months after splitting up with my longest term sub to date, I just wasn't interested any more. Too hard to find somebody, too much effort, nobody was worthwhile, too hard to keep up a relationship. Then somebody new got in touch with me and got me back into it.

Broke it off with her and then went through another dry spell for a few years, again almost thinking about retiring for a while. That time was different reasons - I'm getting older, maybe I should act like a responsible married person instead of cavorting about with trollops, I've got a family on the way I should focus on, etc. I'd again started to consider giving away my equipment, but held on to it "just in case" I might want it. It didn't take up too much space and I'd rather keep it for years and then throw it away than give it away and discover somebody great the next week.

I played around a bit with another girl, and she kept my interest going, but nothing terribly intense. And then babe and I found each other and HOLY SHIT am I on fire like I'd never been before. Not only am I glad I kept all my toys, but I've added more into my toybag in the last 4 months than I had in the previous 4 years. She brings out the best in me in a way that no one else ever has.

So for me it was the people involved, especially my current girl. Clearly there wasn't anything that I could've done to push myself back into it, it was the people that interested me. And realistically? If they hadn't come along, then so be it.

Times change, people change, things change. You don't need to define yourself by this one aspect of your life (even if you have up until now), so don't worry about it. It'll either come back at some point, some how, or it won't and you'll end up in a different direction than you'd expected. Neither outcome is unpleasant.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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Post #: 23

RE: Getting back into things - 1/21/2008 8:02:48 PM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AMaster

I've never lost the the spark, but I have gotten bored every once in a while. Experimenting with new things, even with the same partner can help.

Ditto

~meticulous~

(in reply to AMaster)

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RE: Getting back into things - 1/21/2008 8:04:00 PM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLolly

Now see, with more information/explanation you've answered your own question. Need to get "you" back. Aren't yourself right now. Depression from any source/cause will throw off the libedo. Re-stabalizing with meds or without them - of course you're out of whack and disorientated. Refrain from making ANY important life decisions that can be avoided until you are you again.

Hang in there.

Lady is 100% right, work on yourself and the rest will all fall into place....everything will be fine it just all takes some time....

~meticulous~

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Post #: 25

RE: Getting back into things - 1/21/2008 8:21:33 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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Glad to see you back Majik...I think right at this point you are only seeking distraction from the depression..so come back to CM..post and yak to all here, but also find some outside thing..I have heard that exercise is excellent for depression, all those wee endophin thinghys bounding about..:0)..but as far as anything more...do not stress yourself out so..you are not ready..and you know this..just skew your focus on something not too demanding of you...hugs/Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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Post #: 26

RE: Getting back into things - 1/21/2008 10:46:18 PM

DisenchantedLife

Posts: 193
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If you made a lot of mistakes before and its why you took your sabbatical, than until you can figure out why you made the mistakes keep the sabbatical up. If you aren't ready to do something, it will most likely, not go well.

One can not lift 250 lbs with out practice or build up. One works up to it. IMO jumping back into things isnt wise. Build up, do some reading, learning, talking, meeting. Go slow - find out if you really want to lift that 250 lbs.

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I'm pretty sure I've turned into a bitter bitch with a huge shovel. One of these days I'm going to exchange the shovel for a hoe

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Post #: 27

RE: Getting back into things - 1/22/2008 6:17:20 AM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
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Thank you everyone, yes getting back into CM just a bit as well as writing to keep my mind occupide I start classes again thursday so that will be good as well.

I should also say that I have lost about 75 lbs since late may and so that is most likely haveing an effect on my haramone levels as well, andcoeme to think of it, it is probubly why my meds started makeing me throw up, dosage needs to change with weight and things like that (By oct I was already down 50 lbs)

It does help to come back here and see some old faces, I'v been gone a long time!

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to DisenchantedLife)

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Post #: 28

RE: Getting back into things - 1/22/2008 6:55:10 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Thank you everyone, yes getting back into CM just a bit as well as writing to keep my mind occupide I start classes again thursday so that will be good as well.

I should also say that I have lost about 75 lbs since late may and so that is most likely haveing an effect on my haramone levels as well, andcoeme to think of it, it is probubly why my meds started makeing me throw up, dosage needs to change with weight and things like that (By oct I was already down 50 lbs)

It does help to come back here and see some old faces, I'v been gone a long time!

take it eassy with yourself, medicine and weight loss can hit one hard.
just ask yourself with everything you do, Do i enjoy it?

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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Post #: 29

RE: Getting back into things - 1/22/2008 8:13:34 AM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Thank you everyone, yes getting back into CM just a bit as well as writing to keep my mind occupide I start classes again thursday so that will be good as well.

I should also say that I have lost about 75 lbs since late may and so that is most likely haveing an effect on my haramone levels as well, andcoeme to think of it, it is probubly why my meds started makeing me throw up, dosage needs to change with weight and things like that (By oct I was already down 50 lbs)

It does help to come back here and see some old faces, I'v been gone a long time!

take it eassy with yourself, medicine and weight loss can hit one hard.
just ask yourself with everything you do, Do i enjoy it?

I'm not enjoying anything right now and that is the problem!!!

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Justme696)

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Post #: 30

RE: Getting back into things - 1/22/2008 10:09:36 AM

GingerLou

Posts: 15
Status: offline

the thought of becoming straight laced vanilla again

(keeps me still hoping maybe one day

I'll find a Man stronger than me)

but taking a break is a good thing

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The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

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Post #: 31