Getting back into things

Getting back into things (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

MagiksSlave -> Getting back into things (1/20/2008 6:14:30 PM)
After a long extended break I find that I dont know if I want to get back into the swing of things, I dont know if I want to go back to BDSM but I dont know if I want to give it up eather. I was never wishy washy about it before it has been something I have wanted since I was old enough to understand my desires but now my lack of interest is disconserting to say the least. Has anyone els lost the spark and if you have how did you get it back?

Aileen1968 -> RE: Getting back into things (1/20/2008 6:18:15 PM)
I think a lot of times being with the right person makes all the difference and provides the needed motivation.

verysweet -> RE: Getting back into things (1/20/2008 6:25:45 PM)
It would seem to me the only way to find out for certain is to get back into it for a bit to confirm/deny your feelings. Years ago, I moved from an urban jungle to a rural farming town. Sort of a forced exile from bdsm. After a year living happily without it, I wasn't sure I needed it anymore. But while I was unable to pursue it from a physical standpoint, I realized it was still a part of me emotionally. First chance I got, I thrust head first into it again and I am so glad I did. For me, it was a bona fide case of "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Good luck to you!

MagiksSlave -> RE: Getting back into things (1/20/2008 6:29:26 PM)
I just hate the apathetic feeling!!

KatyLied -> RE: Getting back into things (1/20/2008 6:37:20 PM)
I think everyone goes through periods of wax/wane. I certainly do and a lot of it has to do with being in a relationship or with someone who gets me and what it is that I need (like Aileen says).

AMaster -> RE: Getting back into things (1/20/2008 6:37:48 PM)
I've never lost the the spark, but I have gotten bored every once in a while. Experimenting with new things, even with the same partner can help.

MidMichCowboy -> RE: Getting back into things (1/20/2008 6:45:22 PM)
I totally understand your feelings MagiksSlave. I am looking for a relationship that will fulfill my life. I want one lady for it all. Does she exists? I don't know but the search can get wearisome. I know I'm not satisfied without this relationship and I am not successful in finding what I want. It is tempting to give up, but that is just acknowledging that your dream is dead and you will never be fulfilled. It is a quandary. I hope you have the strength to keep looking for your dream.

txbound -> RE: Getting back into things (1/20/2008 6:54:05 PM)
I understand. After a very bad period in my life, I lost all desire for submission and any and all sexual desire, first time ever. Was like that for about a year, and that actually worked out good for me. Concentrated on other things in my life and actually started a new business. During the last few months, I felt that old part of me slowly waking up again. It was a good break for me.

robertolapiedra -> RE: Getting back into things (1/20/2008 10:53:07 PM)
Hello MagiksSlave. Everybody goes through this, even vanillas. It is not necessarily related to lifestyle...Most often it's just life. Yes the "spark" comes back, but not necessarily in a BDSM form. The spark is what is most important, the way you spark comes later. RL.

laurell3 -> RE: Getting back into things (1/20/2008 11:54:33 PM)
Yeah it's not really that my desire to do it wanes as much as my motivation to continue dealing with all the garbage that comes along with the lifestyle and the loons it attracts does. Start out slow and see how it goes is my advice.

petpete -> RE: Getting back into things (1/21/2008 12:03:45 AM)
Relax Girl... just take it eaaasssyyy.... do whatever it pleases You and all is fine Hon...

Wolfie648 -> RE: Getting back into things (1/21/2008 12:13:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave After a long extended break ...I dont know if I want to go back to BDSM but I dont know if I want to give it up... Go back on break. D.

MissMagnolia -> RE: Getting back into things (1/21/2008 12:13:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Yeah it's not really that my desire to do it wanes as much as my motivation to continue dealing with all the garbage that comes along with the lifestyle and the loons it attracts does. Start out slow and see how it goes is my advice. Absolutely[sm=applause.gif]. We all get pissed off with life at times, more so when it's a part of your life that was very important at one time and now seems a bit blah. Things might be happening in your life that you can't control, hormone levels, work stress, relationships stress, general boredom, depression, etc., that are affecting your enjoyment of life right now and hence your BDSM boredom, too. Be kind to you, take some time to think of what you'd REALLY like to happen in your general lifestyle and remember that it IS ok to feel flat sometimes.

Asherdelampyr -> RE: Getting back into things (1/21/2008 12:17:21 AM)
Take a long hot bath..... Seriously, go, right now Now while in the bath think about all the things that make you happy... then go get em... Screw "the lifestyle" Go have fun, whatever that ends up meaning for you :P

batshalom -> RE: Getting back into things (1/21/2008 3:50:45 AM)
Yeah, in agreement. Don't worry about it. Do what you feel like doing, don't do what you don't feel like doing, and just enjoy whatever's going on. If it includes BDSM, ok. If it doesn't, ok. We only get to do this crazy carnival ride one time (at least in this form) so don't worry about what you can't control and suck out all the pleasure from the rest.

LadyHugs -> RE: Getting back into things (1/21/2008 8:01:09 AM)
Dear MagicksSlave, Ladies and Gentlemen; I think many times where I have had sabbaticals from the lifestyle and or BDSM. I am on a loose form sabbatical currently, as I have had to take on care giving responsibilities that has shoved me away from full blown and totally enveloped lifestyle pleasures. I do take these sabbaticals as an opportunity to replenish myself mentally, emotionally and spiritually; especially in between slaves. I feel that only you (in general) can know when the time is right to re-enter and or step back into activities and how much you can handle as you reenter the lifestyle. Gut instincts is something I listen to. And, should you be stepping in as an independent person, make a standards list per se, of what you seek and what your goals are. Using past experiences as a model, take what was learned and go from there. Just some thoughts. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

mnottertail -> RE: Getting back into things (1/21/2008 8:02:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I think everyone goes through periods of wax/wane. I certainly do and a lot of it has to do with being in a relationship or with someone who gets me and what it is that I need (like Aileen says). Or wax/whine..................... Wax on, wax off. Mr. Miyagi

MagiksSlave -> RE: Getting back into things (1/21/2008 10:59:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wolfie648 quote: ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave After a long extended break ...I dont know if I want to go back to BDSM but I dont know if I want to give it up... Go back on break. D. LOL I havent actually come off break yet....

MagiksSlave -> RE: Getting back into things (1/21/2008 11:05:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia Absolutely[sm=applause.gif]. We all get pissed off with life at times, more so when it's a part of your life that was very important at one time and now seems a bit blah. Things might be happening in your life that you can't control, hormone levels, work stress, relationships stress, general boredom, depression, etc., that are affecting your enjoyment of life right now and hence your BDSM boredom, too. Be kind to you, take some time to think of what you'd REALLY like to happen in your general lifestyle and remember that it IS ok to feel flat sometimes. Actually Im going through a very bad depression possably the worst I have ever had at the moment, I stopped my meds back in Sept (with Doctor aproval) do to the fact that all of a sudden after 5 years on the same medication all of a sudden every time I took it it made me throw up, I was doing really well untill just after the new year and I thought for sure I didn't need the stuff anymore, I started getting really angchouse and panicky right after the new year and that turned into a depression when it did not go away after a few days I called the doctor and saw her, we are at the moment trying to see if temerery xanex will help me get out of it but it hasnt been helping other then to put me to sleep I see her again next week but i may go earlier if I can get an appointment.

MissMagnolia -> RE: Getting back into things (1/21/2008 3:15:11 PM)
Oh sweety, you're not only depressed, you'll also have been going through withdrawal symptoms by coming off the meds so fast. Medications for depression can take up to 6 months to leave the brain fully, so it's really hit you now by the sounds of things. Definitely see your doc asap, and expect not to feel fabulous for a while. As you know, the new meds will need, at the very least, a few weeks to kick in. Forget about dealing with things that aren't of dire importance and give the new meds time to kick in. You'll be revved up and back with a vengeance again soon!![:)]

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125