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RE: Limited Topics! - 1/18/2008 7:47:01 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		It's certainly happened to me in a relationship that I couldn't safely discuss something with a partner.  However, it's not the topic it's that usually one or both of us are so strong-willed or poorly communicating that we fail to listen and accept that our opinions will continue to be different on that subject.  I've always been disappointed to just shy away from topics instead of working on better communication on heated issues personally.  It's really somewhat unacceptable to me to not be able to discuss openly anything with someone I have an intimate ltr with, but I'm odd like that.

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Limited Topics! - 1/18/2008 8:18:27 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Tell me if I am wrong but isnt the democrats party symbol an Ass.


This post is not about democrats and republicans.  The post is conserning discussions.  Please reread your op very clear before making a comment such as that one on a post.  It is the season.
 
Regards, MissSCD
 

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Limited Topics! - 1/18/2008 8:46:59 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You could train him to argue well and effectively in the manner you find works best in your relationship.

But unless you can also argue effectively and not allow it to become a true "issue" then it's pointless.

I think it's fine to have topics you really know you can't agree on- my partner and I have completely different tastes in ties, we accept it, often laugh over it and move on.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Limited Topics! - 1/18/2008 8:56:39 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Tell me if I am wrong but isnt the democrats party symbol an Ass.


Ha! Oho! Ha ha! I think beating him because he's a Republican is a GREAT reason...


Actually...beating him because he's a Republican isn't the problem....that he's STILL a Republican after 7 years of Bush...THAT's worthy of a beating!

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Limited Topics! - 1/18/2008 10:03:10 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings missscd,

usually we can do pretty well, even talking about politics - which is strange, considering he's a republican and i'm a socialist. every now and then things will get a little heated, particularly when we're discussing issues like profiling or racism, because our experiences and beliefs on some things are so different. but i don't really think we've ever truly argued about something like that. actually, come to think of it, we don't really argue at all - when he's stressed he'll go off on me about something, but that's usually just him letting off steam, not an argument, and it has nothing to do with differing beliefs. i guess our "live and let live" attitudes make it easier to discuss these things without getting too heated - that and the fact that i'm fairly apolitical and i've learned over the years that i can't let myself get too involved in those kinds of arguments because i need to hold onto what little sanity i have left, so i tend to back off if i feel like i'm in too deep. the fact that he's the master and always has the final say helps, too - for me it would feel disrespectful to argue with him. i've yelled at him probably one whole time since we have been together, and that was when he was taking something out on me and basically being a jerk on one of the worst days of my life, and he did apologize and realize he was wrong for doing it, so it wasn't an issue (he doesn't mind me telling him he's being a jerk when he's being a jerk, and actually encourages it). but outright arguing just feels wrong to me, at least with him.

respectfully,
annabelle.


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a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Limited Topics! - 1/18/2008 10:51:42 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe i've mellowed....Maybe i've changed........Maybe my priorities are different than they used to be....In the past it wouldn't take much to get me involved in a heated debate....But...when we are together, i don't care.... Hell, He could probably tell me all social service programs should be destroyed, and i'd probably just sit there and go, "really? What makes You think that?" And honestly? More than likely that's where the conversation would end....i guess i just don't have the physical energy these days to get angry or self righteous (which is how I was) about things...Because at the end of the day the things that matter are: i'm safe, i'm happy, He's wonderful, He cares for me, and life is going to be okay....

*seriously considering checking myself into the asylum now*


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“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Limited Topics! - 1/18/2008 10:53:36 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		kalista,

you remind me of me! LOL. i'm such a hard core human rights socialist person...but he's so anti-welfare it's scary, and while before i would have probably gone off the deep end listening to him talk about how social programs should be abolished, now i actually inquire about why he thinks that. and i listen. and while i might present my own beliefs, i don't argue. i better shush before they revoke my crazy liberal hippie card.

respectfully,
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Limited Topics! - 1/18/2008 10:57:40 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		LMAO Annabelle,
That's TOOO funny!!!!!  i can relate totally with what You are saying...Are there ever times when You worry You are losing Your committment to the causes You've aligned with (personally)? At first i think i did, and then i thought OMG!! i've become one of them!!! You know!!! THOSE women...You know the one's: can't be happy without a man, can't have an opinion without a man, etc. etc. etc...So, i talked to Him about it (LMAO)....His response was something about how he was pretty sure that even blind people could feel my facial expressions when topics i feel strongly are brought up....So, in the end i guess maybe it just comes down to being comfortable in Your own skin and realizing that other people are allowed to have opinions?? OMG!!! Did i just say all that??


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“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Limited Topics! - 1/18/2008 11:03:47 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings kalista,

i think that's what it is. i don't think i'm losing my commitment to my beliefs - i think i'm just learning that one, i am not always right, two, blindly arguing about how i AM always right actually has done me and others more harm than good, and three, it's healthier not to be attached to my beliefs even if i am committed to them. it helps that i've actually learned a lot from his extensive security and military background that has expanded my views on issues like airport security, homeland security, etc. i still worry sometimes because i am so very caught up in the belief that everyone should have the right to health care, education, etc. and of course his views on that are very different, but we get along so well and both of us are fairly easygoing to the point that it just doesn't become a problem. it helps that i'm not allowed to -need- him in order to exist. i've always been codependent before this, but i'm not allowed to be codependent, so i learned that whole falling-in-love-with-myself-being-a-whole-person-on-my-own thing pretty damn quick ;) well, that and i'm not so caught up on being a "good feminist" anymore. even if i AM an awful 50s housewife doormat type person, i'm happy as a pig in clover, so i can live with it ;)

respectfully,
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Limited Topics! - 1/19/2008 8:09:38 AM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Hmm we agree to disagree on politics, religion, his dysfuntional family and mine. ( We jokingly debate over whos family has the most dysfunction). Other than that all topics are open.

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Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Limited Topics! - 1/19/2008 8:01:19 PM   
MistressVnus


Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline 		I think we found our "touchy" subject right off the bat.  It concerned metaphysics and the laws of attraction regarding negativity and positivity.
It was quite a "heated" evening, to say the least.  However, we seem to have found a neutral plane on the subject.  Thank Goodness!!



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In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Limited Topics! - 1/19/2008 9:30:48 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fairerthanshe

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Tell me if I am wrong but isnt the democrats party symbol an Ass.


Yes, and when was the last time you saw a good piece of Elephant?

truly ~ fairer

LAM's avatar!!!.......sowwy...could not resist..Tempting 

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to fairerthanshe)
Profile   Post #: 32
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