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CreativeDominant -> RE: How do You decrease Humility? (1/17/2008 2:45:16 PM)
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Ahhhhhhh...self-esteem, arrogance, humility, insecurity, pride. The fine lines that exist between those.
All I can offer you is my perspective from the years I have lived and what I have learned in life and psychology courses and therapy for myself.
I see humility as someone who does not act arrogant or superior to another. When someone compliments them, they accept the compliment graciously and do not...eventually...let the compliments go to their head. As a matter of fact, depending on what the compliment is for, they look at what they are doing and see a way to use it as a path to something...whether it be to pleasing their friends, their master/mistress, starting a business. After all...to use the cookie example...someone had to tell Mrs. Fields she made great cookies more often than she was told she made bad ones. And yet, when you see her in interviews, you can tell she is proud of what she has done but is not arrogant about it.
Self-esteem. Something overemphasized in schools today as being fragile but basically it comes down to this...when you do something good/right/worthwhile that earns praise from others or when you can honestly look at your actions and see them as being good/right most of the time, then you are entitled to self-esteem. Self-esteem comes with accomplishment and the accomplishments do not have to be big, they just have to be positive and recognized as so...even if only by yourself.
Arrogance...thinking that you really are better than everyone else. This differs from pride and self-awareness. As a healthcare provider I have to not only think I am good at what I do but know that I am good at what I do in order to help people. False humility or low self-esteem or insecurity about my gifts as a provider could prove harmful to those who come to see me. But I keep up that pride and self-awareness through regular forays into my professional publications and educational seminars, by applying what I have learned carefully and being careful each time, never NOT thinking about what I am doing. Pride and awareness and a healthy sense of ego are knowing that you are good at what you do, modesty comes in when you know that there are others who are better, and arrogance comes in when you think you are the best with no valid proof of that.
Insecurity...the mental and emotional voice that tells you within...and sometimes comes out of your mouth when a compliment is paid..."oh...you really did not do that much. you could have done it better". The beast that comes about from years of others criticizing you about your looks, your intelligence, whatever...and coming to believe what they say.
False humility. When your natural modesty becomes almost a performance. Where you take it to the extreme of saying things such as "girl tries her lowly, insufficient best to please her master and is so grateful she did so" while secretly preening inside. When you show others up by being "more" submissive than they are, by being more "compliant" than they are, etc., etc., etc...
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