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MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 11:58:12 AM   
LdyWinter71


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline 		I have to say that I've been enjoying this site alot, but meeting people seems to be a real problem.  I know that many people are here to meet subs/slaves and Dom/mes to make a connection with, (and don't get me wrong, so are W/we); but it's nice just to meet people to talk to about the life, and to make friends and contacts who share an interest in BDSM.  However, it often seems like no one wants to just talk, unless they're looking at a potential playmate.  Am I missing something?

-Lady Winter

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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 12:01:23 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		No...you are not. Daddy and I are hardly ever approuched by someone(couple or other wise) unless they are looking for play or swinging....Which is not what we are looking for...so I understand what you are saying.

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to LdyWinter71)
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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 12:05:26 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		I have people around for just talking. Perhaps it is for couples harder, because people don't want to mmmm come in between.
And soem people just freak when you give them even a compliment


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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 12:07:25 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		We get the odd post that are looking to serve or playmates.
But on the whole, we only get good mail from people who are looking for friendship.
 
the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 12:07:53 PM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Of course your missing something. Your not talking to me. Drop a note. Im alwys up for some talk.  

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 12:08:45 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		One thing I have realized is that life just doesn't always leave enough room.

There is a new little group that has formed here. They were very kind to contact me and invite me to join them. They keep in touch via email and I have an open (last time I checked) invitation to join them when they get together.

However, I just cannot ever seem to make it a priority to drive an hour on a Saturday afternoon to attend. My life is busy right now, I've got alot of other people and animals that need my time. It has nothing at all to do with the people that are in this group, I don't even know them. Creating more obligations is just not high on my list of "must do's" right now.

edited to add...........silly me, I thought we were talking about actually MEETING people.....colour me silly


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/16/2008 12:12:41 PM >

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(in reply to LdyWinter71)
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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 12:18:03 PM   
Honsoku


Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		Finding playmates/partners is the focus of the other side. If you want to find people just to talk with, add "friends only" to your actively seeking list and talk more about yourselves. Right now your profile is focused almost entirely on attracting playmates (and yes, expecting to find someone in the first two weeks is impatient). Even if I was looking for friends, there is nothing in your profile that makes me go "hmm, they might be interesting to talk to". Talk about your activities, work, life in general (the journal is a great place to do that). You might also have an easier time finding friends if you each maintained an individual account, just people knew who they were talking to.

< Message edited by Honsoku -- 1/16/2008 12:19:07 PM >

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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 12:24:19 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline 		I think you get out of this what you put into it.

In the past, we have had CollarMe meet-ups in NYC and Las Vegas.  Sounds like the beginnings of one are forming for Los Angeles in March.  I have met some very very cool people at those meet ups!

Sometimes you have to put yourself out there first...

Taggard


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A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to LdyWinter71)
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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 12:30:09 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I was going to say something similar - BUT bit my lip because I was going to say something a bit harsher.
Ach - well... I'll do it now anyway.
 
You get what you put back.  And, You do get what you give out.  And I visited the OP profile and quite honestly, it does not surprise me that they are only getting contacted by people who want to play.  But that's just my POV.
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 2:55:01 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
And I visited the OP profile and quite honestly, it does not surprise me that they are only getting contacted by people who want to play.

What she said.  Your profile doesn't even say you are looking for friends.  I've met several women in person who are now friends.  When we first met we were both thinking there might possibly be more beyond that, but we both knew that we liked each other as people from our email and phone conversations before meeting in real.  I've also made one "Yahoo friend" who is a regular poster here, and she and I have had some deep and personal conversations, though I have no idea whether we will ever meet live.

People tend to get what they put out a call for.

(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 3:10:02 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LdyWinter71

I have to say that I've been enjoying this site alot, but meeting people seems to be a real problem.  I know that many people are here to meet subs/slaves and Dom/mes to make a connection with, (and don't get me wrong, so are W/we); but it's nice just to meet people to talk to about the life, and to make friends and contacts who share an interest in BDSM.  However, it often seems like no one wants to just talk, unless they're looking at a potential playmate.  Am I missing something?

-Lady Winter

yes probably only missing the air fare over to my place and the reference to friends wanted in your profile...I'll talk about bdsm until the cows come home.......or buffalo or whatever their US counterparts are......

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 1/16/2008 3:12:04 PM >

(in reply to LdyWinter71)
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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 3:37:30 PM   
verysweet


Posts: 128
Status: offline 		It will be interesting to see what posting in the fora does for their situation.

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Poetry in devotion.

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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 5:07:33 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: verysweet

It will be interesting to see what posting in the fora does for their situation.

off piste but i do so love the word fora
it ought to be an anacronym for something really perverse..........

(in reply to verysweet)
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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 5:09:49 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

because people don't want to mmmm come in between.




oh i love to mmmmmm in between

ao off topic tonight in some fora sorry

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 5:25:16 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Dear Ldy. There are genuine people here on this group. It just takes time and the right circumstances to find them. Ofcourse the prime aspect W/we all have joined this group is to find like minded people of our community, and sexually attracted. There are also many people who join thinking that this may be a site about kinky sex. Good luck

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Max: And loving it!


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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 5:49:14 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I'd say posting is a good first start, there are plenty of people who banter about on these forums.  So read, write and be merry (or sarcastic, or witty, or informative- whatever your style )

I meet people that turn into friends, it is difficult for me because I am a single parent (of a rather young um) going to school and working full time.  Needless to say, most of my r/t is reserved for my current friends but it doesn't mean I'm not open to new friendships.
Lady Jag

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Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to LdyWinter71)
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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 7:41:00 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		We. have the same probem. Either we're bsy or they are or they just want to play. i envy couples who have other couples as D/s platonc friends

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i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 7:45:34 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		FR:  Actually I have quite a few more friends in the lifestyle than people who approach me (seriously not including troll mail) for play.  I think it may make a difference how willing you are to be a friend yourself.  The forums are a great place to meet people.  However, just having a profile that is friendly and saying you are also looking for friends in the lifestyle certainly helps too and I have found making a generic profile may cut down on the sexual approaches a bit as well.  If you look around there are plenty of people here that have profiles that state a bit about them and say I am looking for friends and here for the forums.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 1/16/2008 7:47:08 PM >

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 9:01:50 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		I've had people that said they wanted to just meet and talk....but I  think they are hoping it will go further.   If you want to just talk that can be done over the phone.

(in reply to LdyWinter71)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: MEETING PEOPLE!!! - 1/16/2008 9:03:04 PM   
LadyLolly


Posts: 140
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Honsoku

Finding playmates/partners is the focus of the other side. If you want to find people just to talk with, add "friends only" to your actively seeking list and talk more about yourselves. Right now your profile is focused almost entirely on attracting playmates (and yes, expecting to find someone in the first two weeks is impatient). Even if I was looking for friends, there is nothing in your profile that makes me go "hmm, they might be interesting to talk to". Talk about your activities, work, life in general (the journal is a great place to do that). You might also have an easier time finding friends if you each maintained an individual account, just people knew who they were talking to.


In addition, would add that you can "fine tune"  (or de-tune if too "hunt" specific) your search parameters on the home page for those that share some of your common interests.  Nothing says you can't take the initiative and drop a hello with a few words.  Worst that can happen is they block you <G>, seriously, have to open a dialouge and develop some sort of rapport to generate enough mutual interest to get out from behind the screen. 

Personally I like to see if the whites of peoples eyes go all the way around and actually prefer to do an early social meet if I find them interesting - it's shouldn't be that big a deal (with a few common sense safety precautions of course).  Will say too that there are a LOT of folk that for what ever reason bail out and scurry off before it comes to pass once it's suggested.    Don't worry about it - the good folks you actually will meet and click with are worth the wait - patience.

(in reply to Honsoku)
Profile   Post #: 20
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