RE: Do I need to be more humble or learn humility in this case??

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RE: Do I need to be more humble or learn humility in th... - 1/16/2008 9:37:54 AM

breatheasone

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quote:

MistressVnus

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

There are several interesting aspects here.

In the beginning of your relationship with your Master, did you not discuss play activities that interested you? I would hope so. Otherwise, how did you determine any level of compatability. If new interests have developed they should be communicated and can be done so in a manner where you are just disclosing new things you have learned about yourself. He may just soak it in and incorporate it at some point without you having to ask.

On the other hand, if you are requesting certain activities you already participate in and just need to have some play time, yes, this can be a humbling experience to ask, or beg for. (I, personally, love the begging..*grin*) Why is it humbling? You have already stated. Becuase you can be turned away.

So, the next questions is, is it the asking you have a diversion for, or the fear of rejection?

Holy cow! I could not agree more with what MistressVnus said here!

mystique2003 hopefully you and your "D" type talked about things in the begining, and you both understood each others basic likes and dislikes....having said that...yes, you are going to have to get comfortable going to your "D" type with needs and desires...I DO know its difficult, however it is also worth the effort. I also have no doubt your "D" type WANTS to know what you need, and desire...thats what people do when they are in a relationship...they care....they give, they take....

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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RE: Do I need to be more humble or learn humility in th... - 1/16/2008 12:33:37 PM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003

I have trouble asking Master for the things I want. Like a good flogging or fireplay or a number of other things. I know he can't read my mind, (though there are times I think he can). And maybe deep down I think it is his choice to do whatever he wants.
Now is it humbling for a slave to ask for what she wants? Does humility have a place in the asking?
Thank you ahead of time for helping me understand myself.

I always find it interesting...and perplexing...and frustrating...that people who have shared a bed cannot find a way to communicate/share with their partner what else they need; what else they fear; what else they think; something that is troubling them. I hated it in the vanilla world and I hate it even more so here in D/s.

Yes, it is difficult to come forward with things...whether they be sexual or emotional or whatever. I have been as guilty of it as many others and still fall prone to it but I keep working at it. But tell me...should it be as difficult or more so to express your mental and emotional conceptions, perceptions, thoughts as it is to express yourself in a physical sexual/BDSM manner when play is occurring? I don't think so. Perhaps that is one way to look at it...if you have grown to the point where you are engaging in a D/s BDSM relationship with your partner and it is continuing to grown, then consider all that you have overcome to participate physically/sexually within that and compare that to being able to tell him what you are thinking.

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RE: Do I need to be more humble or learn humility in th... - 1/16/2008 3:48:25 PM

slavemaia

Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003

I have trouble asking Master for the things I want. Like a good flogging or fireplay or a number of other things. I know he can't read my mind, (though there are times I think he can). And maybe deep down I think it is his choice to do whatever he wants.
Now is it humbling for a slave to ask for what she wants? Does humility have a place in the asking?
Thank you ahead of time for helping me understand myself.

i do think it's humbling to have to ask for what i want/need as it reveals to Him my vulnerability. It also gives Him the power to deny me what i wish - which is definitely His option. So yes for me it's humbling to ask and humbling to accept His decision.

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She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

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RE: Do I need to be more humble or learn humility in th... - 1/16/2008 5:03:53 PM

LPslittleclip

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i usualy dont have a problem asking its more in how i ask/state the request on my knees and at her feet is the best position but the wording matters. if you are at all unshure just ask your Dominant/Master how to ask.

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RE: Do I need to be more humble or learn humility in th... - 1/16/2008 5:30:07 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003

I have trouble asking Master for the things I want. Like a good flogging or fireplay or a number of other things. I know he can't read my mind, (though there are times I think he can). And maybe deep down I think it is his choice to do whatever he wants.
Now is it humbling for a slave to ask for what she wants? Does humility have a place in the asking?
Thank you ahead of time for helping me understand myself.

I think your issue is a personal one...you're associating it with "self"....you're taking it far too personally.

I think you need to disassociate...try to move away from the "I"...and move towards the thing itself.

So....and this is only advice...take it or leave it....work it for you and your Masters own benefit.

I'd change my entire approach and start by asking for a new 2008 BMW, or an "Alienware" computer with 3 - 750 gig hard drives (and 2 additional RAID drives to back up all your movies, music...and let's not forget.....porn), a water cooled system (and 4 extra fans) with 8 gigs of RAM, 2 DVD R/W drives (one of course being Blue Ray), a 27 inch monitor and naturally....commercial grade fiber optic lines capable of providing the maximum input and output available on your block.

(I believe this will solve your dilemma).

< Message edited by Griswold -- 1/16/2008 5:45:52 PM >

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RE: Do I need to be more humble or learn humility in th... - 1/16/2008 5:37:50 PM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003

I have trouble asking Master for the things I want. Like a good flogging or fireplay or a number of other things. I know he can't read my mind, (though there are times I think he can). And maybe deep down I think it is his choice to do whatever he wants.
Now is it humbling for a slave to ask for what she wants? Does humility have a place in the asking?
Thank you ahead of time for helping me understand myself.

In my opinion, your and his likes and dislikes should have been negotiated long ago. If he knows you like flogging and fireplay, why not ask for it? If he's just not doing it enough to suit you, again why not ask for it? If he doesn't even know you want to, how is he supposed to deliver? Yes, I said deliver. If this is a bdSM relationship, with kink involved and whatnot, shouldn't you talk about what you guys like to do? Granted, it is supposed to be enjoyable for both of you and if he's not really into all that, I could almost understand. But. Why not ask for it?

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There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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RE: Do I need to be more humble or learn humility in th... - 1/16/2008 8:39:53 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear mystique2003, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I would communicate with your Master. I like setting up a protocol for a slave to tell me in a way without words that they would need a bit of restoring and or affirming their enslavement. It really can be a form of maintenance. Some need to feel the flogger and such, like a car needs their fluids checked. These moments for me, personally are the maintenance our relationship needs. It is so easy to be in a rut. It is so easy to delay what needs to be done--that is, feeding the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual side of the slave.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Do I need to be more humble or learn humility in th... - 1/17/2008 5:19:16 AM

MRandme

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i have trouble with this too. It feels like TFTB to say "i'd really like it if we..." and that is the last thing i want to do. However, i know that i am free to express anything in my journal without fear and my Master will take it under advisement. Of course, just because He reads it doesn't mean that He will give me what i want.

i have also learned that it is easier to share these things by not saying "i want..." or "i need..." but by saying "thinking about X makes me feel..." or "i was really excited when You...". This shares the information without making any demands or feeling like i am pushing or nagging.

As for "you should have discussed this when you first got together..." -- well, i don't know about anyone else but my Master and i have journeyed far beyond what i thought i wanted or was interested in six months ago when we met. Things change with time, and so do our needs and wants. Initial communication is important as a starting point but should not be considered the default setting.

g

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And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

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