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RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 6:32:18 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Sends Dnomyar some hash browns instead

Jeff

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 7:29:36 AM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		Who has the lox for my bagel?  <grin>

Stefan

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 7:51:58 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I met a submissive early on in my D/s life.  I became friends with her, she came here to see me soon after we became friends and we had a great weekend.  We continued to converse and, since this was the "dominant as therapist" part of my life, I counseled her that I felt she needed to get away from a place that evoked only bad memories and had no job opportunities for someone with her degree and credentials.  Lo and behold, she showed up in Colorado...now, she had taken my advice and had gotten on with a tech firm in Boulder.  However, she was also expecting to be MY submissive and for us to move to a place between Boulder and here where we could commute and on and on.  She was not reallllllllll happy when I stated that I had no intention of doing so and that the submissive that WAS mine would not be real happy with the idea of another submissive joining us.  This woman's reply?  Get rid of my submissive as I had a "new" one.  When I turned her down again and told her to leave me alone, our friendship was over...I became a fraud and a liar.

Now...you only have my side of this story and I know that.  But I thought that this was illustrative of the comment that someone made within this thread that, often, the ones who turn out not to be a fit for you often get labeled as a fraud (trying to make yourself look better) or you get called a fraud because you would not do things their way...things you had never agreed to or, in some cases, never discussed.

By the way, I am real too...send ME your money...and your pix...especially T & A shots. 

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 1/15/2008 7:53:01 AM >

(in reply to HeidiAnn)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 9:35:15 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Damm cold hash browns send them fed ex the next time. Good illustration CD.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 11:06:35 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

However, she was also expecting to be MY submissive and for us to move to a place between Boulder and here where we could commute and on and on. 


CD, baby, you know that's not how it happened.  You said "go jump off a cliff" and all I could find was Boulder.  I would have been happy with either town.

Sigh.  Memory is the first thing to go...

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 12:01:15 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Do you know how many men on these sites believe submissive = easy and are lying about everything about themselves?  I think many of us have encountered people that weren't what they said they were ....

nah don't want to get triggered.....but just to say if i withold information then i am outed as a fake and if I tell the truth I am outted as a pervert....to the point at which i got so paranoid I doubted who anyone was.....
no-one is exactly like they say they are......reality smells and tastes somewhat differently to Planet Avatar

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 12:02:38 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Memory is the first thing to go...

Cali


I think the neck sags first....if I remember correctly

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 12:18:32 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Memory is the first thing to go...

Cali


I think the neck sags first....if I remember correctly



Unless your blond and spent years working midnight shift than the mind has  gone south long before  the rest starts   just call me a southbound  clueless


_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 1:13:32 PM   
SensibleSam


Posts: 77
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline 		It seems to me that being a fraud as a Dom or Master is much more common than being a fraudulent submissive.  First of all we know that many subbies complain that the men they meet aren't really Doms. Many so-called expert lectures on BDSM matters often have a the "Would Be Dom" or the "Inept Dom" theme as a kind of comedy relief. Everyone in the class or audience seems to relate to silly and fake Doms as a common problem.

Finally when I attended BDSM discussion groups at the local dungeon I was amazed at how wimpy most of the self identified Doms were. 

I think subbies only want a few things from a Dom. They want him to be manly and truly interested in enjoying her submission. A fraud Dom is one who, in an effort to compensate for not being even normally manly, assumes the hyper-manly role of a Dom. Some of these guys seem to be tortured by self doubt and are constantly questioning if their actions are politically correct. I find this sort of thing ridiculous and offensive and from what I've heard so do most submissive women.

On the other hand if there are women on this site masquerading as a submissives for whatever reason, I'm a little surprised. Any woman who pretends to be submissive and meets just about any Dom will soon find herself tied up, a butt plug stuck in her bottom and she ius being whipped (or some variation of this theme). Real subs are enthusiastic about such treatment. I suppose a fraud subbie would only pretend to like such a scene. If so, I've never met one.

That's not to say that every woman has wanted me - I've certainly been rejected - but I don't take mere rejection as evidence that the woman in question was a fraud.  In fact I have some difficulty believing that there are subbie frauds at all. If a woman who has no real subbie instinct just wants to have sex she can advertise on a sex site and avoid the unwanted beatings.  

Am I missing something here?

There are women on these sites, of course,who will never actually meet a man in real life. They use correspondence with Doms as a kind of sex fantasy. I don't think they are frauds, just shy.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 1:23:40 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

It seems to me that being a fraud as a Dom or Master is much more common than being a fraudulent submissive. First of all we know that many subbies complain that the men they meet aren't really Doms.
 

In the profiles there are many Dom{mes} complaining about "real" subs/slave too

(in reply to SensibleSam)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 1:45:35 PM   
SinfulEnterprise


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline 		This subject caught my attention as lately I have noticed a rather odd trend here on collarme. Granted it is a fraud that is different than most but one that I feel needs to be addressed. The problem is people joining collarme who list their location as a city in europe (mostly in the UK) but the country as Canada. I am not sure if members in the USA are noticing this too but I have seen it happen a lot in the last few months. A large number of these "members" have sent me messages with their email address as the only thing written in it.  When I have replied they asked for personal info or gave me the link to some porn site I had to pay a membership fee for. That is fraud to me but hey thats just my opinion.

(in reply to HeidiAnn)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 1:50:30 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SinfulEnterprise

This subject caught my attention as lately I have noticed a rather odd trend here on collarme. Granted it is a fraud that is different than most but one that I feel needs to be addressed. The problem is people joining collarme who list their location as a city in europe (mostly in the UK) but the country as Canada. I am not sure if members in the USA are noticing this too but I have seen it happen a lot in the last few months. A large number of these "members" have sent me messages with their email address as the only thing written in it.  When I have replied they asked for personal info or gave me the link to some porn site I had to pay a membership fee for. That is fraud to me but hey thats just my opinion.


There is a logic to that....because peopel want to make contact on this website. Do you put your own country for example Luxemburg (small country in Europe) you hardly find peopel in the search or you hardly get people making contact to you. So people cheat with the countries.
I don't think they are all frauds.


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to SinfulEnterprise)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 9:05:20 PM   
vegeta


Posts: 93
Joined: 8/14/2004
Status: offline 		I can spot a fraud easy. Their picture does not match their written profile descriptions.They always say the would relocate. They write with an african accect.
What do you get with that? Nigerian mob.

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Frauds? - 1/15/2008 9:49:27 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

It seems to me that being a fraud as a Dom or Master is much more common than being a fraudulent submissive. First of all we know that many subbies complain that the men they meet aren't really Doms.
 

In the profiles there are many Dom{mes} complaining about "real" subs/slave too



I'm not sure that's actually fraud.  There seem to be quite a few people online on these sites that believe if another person doesn't meet their unrealistic standards or isn't compatible with them they are a "fake".  Obviously they're real human beings unless you believe there's a content self-driven computer program out there that answer emails (if so I want one).   It's really more sour grapes than fraud many times in my opinion.

OP if you're asking about scamming as opposed to general fraud, while it may be the case that males get scam offers more, I've actually gotten a few as well.  I'm not sure why the out of the country scammers usually approach males, maybe because there are generally many more of them than women and they appear to be easier marks because of it.

Regardless of fraud, scam, role or sex, it is not uncommon for people to be dishonest on the internet to both sexes and all roles.  I think as another posted taking it slow and easy and being careful with your personal information is important.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Frauds? - 1/16/2008 1:00:27 AM   
HeidiAnn


Posts: 113
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you for the very many answers.

Yes, I think I mostly meant scamming. In finnish the word fraud mostly is used when someone has gained material benefit with false information or misleading. Stupid lagnuage-barriers.:)

Rushing is the biggest and most alarming thing for me too. I'm not all that safe when it comes to personal information, but for me it works the other way too - I monitor more carefuly what I say to new people when I'm open about personal info. I'm not handing out my credit card numbers or stuff like that, but if I meet someone nice, I don't think that much about handing out a phone number. And through that anyone can find out my basic personal info if they wish to. Oh, and one thing that makes me distrustful in other peson is if they have a secret phone number (like from which no pesonal info can be gathered). Might be silly, but I just don't trust people who do that. Don't like it when people feel need to have secrets.

heidi

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Frauds? - 1/16/2008 1:06:08 AM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Fraud isn't gender specific


I'm not so sure if that's a good thing to assume without looking at statistics.  Not that I have statistics to knock it.. it just seems like a large assumption to me.

To point it out, though.. if a "Dom" is fraudulent.. he often over advertises what he is, what he can do, and what he wants, right?  Normally, when I get mail from a "sub", I have to realize that there's a very considerable chance that this "sub" isn't a sub or/and isn't even female.  Is it really that bad on the other end of things?

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Frauds? - 1/16/2008 7:47:04 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

However, she was also expecting to be MY submissive and for us to move to a place between Boulder and here where we could commute and on and on. 


CD, baby, you know that's not how it happened.  You said "go jump off a cliff" and all I could find was Boulder.  I would have been happy with either town.

Sigh.  Memory is the first thing to go...

Cali



Actually...with me, it has been the hair...but then, I know that is because of the halo burn. 

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Frauds? - 1/16/2008 3:16:53 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

lightly toasted............with sausgae, egg and cheese..........and a black coffee...

Jeffwey


love is learning how to MAKE coffee when you dont drink the stuff yourself.

and serving it to him in bed.  every morning.

kitten, smirking

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Frauds? - 1/16/2008 5:20:37 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I am real............send Me your money

Jeffwey


I have a recurring fantasy about being fucked by a big fat roll of money.....(encased in a condom, as one never knows where money comes from or where it's been).........oh and i get to keep the money.....is that fraud?

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 1/16/2008 5:22:18 PM >

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Frauds? - 1/17/2008 1:44:22 PM   
SensibleSam


Posts: 77
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline 		Let me try again.

A true Dom is one who enjoys giving women restraint, pain and humiliation.  A true sub is a woman who is aroused by such a man. You are a fraud Dom if you don't actually enjoy these things. Some such men exist. You are a fraud sub if you are not actually aroused by these practices. Very few such women exist, I believe.  

Why do I think this? Long observation. When I was younger and just breaking into BDSM, I remember meeting women who wouldn't completely submit to me. In my innocence I would tell them that they were not a true sub but some kind of secret vanilla or switch. Of course the true explanation was simpler. I just didn't turn them on.

Later I observed that with a woman who advertised herself as a sub when I first gave her an order she fell immediately into total unquestioning slavery. At first this reaction was so surprising that I imagined that this too was some kind of deception - but it wasn't. It was very real and authentic. If I used the behavior of that "instant slave" as my benchmark I might have cursed almost all women as frauds or not true subs.

The truth is women who advertise themselves as subs, are indeed subs or very much want to be subs. However any one Dom may or may not elicit the sub reflex in a particular sub. Silly Doms who find that all women don't swoon over them at once are apt to call them frauds. Vanilla men who are rejected often call the rejecting woman a lesbian. 

Looking back I can't seem to recall any subs that I met who were not authentic. On the other hand I've met a lot of imitation Doms. I have met all too many self identified Doms who are rude and obnoxious and even more who are feckless and wimpy. They have shown exagerated behavior as if in an effort to be mistaken for that which they are not. 

Perhaps my personal experience is not representative. If so I invite you to straighten me out.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 40
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