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Little help. - 1/12/2008 8:11:19 PM

Captainbluefox

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

I been on this site for a while now and every one is nice but I could never find a mistress. I mean I am a switch, but I'm looking for a mistress or a dom couple to learn from. Everyone I message so far all want the same this thing, Money. Others just don't return messages. So I was wondering. Am I doing something wrong or do I live in a state that has doms that give you a little spanking for 200 dollars?

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RE: Little help. - 1/12/2008 8:17:55 PM

princessleather

Posts: 20
Joined: 12/25/2006
Status: offline

Oh, i am sorry i have heard that so many times from Male submissives. I would recommend you look for, go to local functions and get to know people, join their lists, etc etc .. There are plenty of mistresses/dom/couples who do not want money and are into it for real. Just be yourself, don't try so hard.

Have fun.

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RE: Little help. - 1/12/2008 8:29:13 PM

Captainbluefox

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

I really don't try "too hard". It just seems that everyone wants a tribute, or "gifts". I try going to events but they are too far and too few.

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RE: Little help. - 1/12/2008 8:58:17 PM

TheHeretic

Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline

It's a matter of attitude. If you come across as whining or desperate, that means you are working from the wrong one. I didn't meet my wife on this site (or any site for that matter) but I met people here and elsewhere who got me looking in the right places.

Ease up, and work some overtime to cover the gas to that far away munch. It's worth it.

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.

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RE: Little help. - 1/12/2008 9:09:21 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

I'm not sure how many Mistress's there are out there. (I don't consider the prostitutes who do this for money as Mistresses; I would hope no one would call a man whore who did this a "Master".)

Most people make the distinction as Domme vs. "pro Domme". For me, it's Domme vs. prostitute. Not that I hate them- don't get me wrong- but I have a distaste for a lie that it's something else.

To get to the point, my advice is that you come to see it this way. If you're looking for a legitimate partner, it's best to understand that not everyone who claims to be a potential legitimate partner is one.

Good luck finding someone that works. But, please, don't let it get you down. It's not that you're not good enough, it's just that a lot of them are really in it for the money.

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RE: Little help. - 1/12/2008 11:45:41 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Captainbluefox

I been on this site for a while now and every one is nice but I could never find a mistress. I mean I am a switch, but I'm looking for a mistress or a dom couple to learn from. Everyone I message so far all want the same this thing, Money. Others just don't return messages. So I was wondering. Am I doing something wrong or do I live in a state that has doms that give you a little spanking for 200 dollars?

Okay...FemDomme answering here.
First of all, according to your profile you are 20 years old, new to the lifestyle and you have been on this site for approximately 7 months. Be a little patient!
Your profile does not really say much except that you are new, learning shibari, like a few things (all BDSM oriented, of course) and you are a cd but not gay. *shrug* I am going to take a leap here and say you have oriented as a "Switch" because you are learning and you have no idea, at this pont, where you might best find your niche. Maybe you'll remain a switch...but most often it is a matter of trying all things until you figure it out.
That said, I have no idea who you are approaching, how you are approaching them, and what your expectations might be once you have established some sort of communication. You state that munches are too far away and too far between. What will you do if you actually meet a FemDomme who takes an interest, and wants to actually spend time in person? Are you disappointed that there isn't a made to order Lady living 4 blocks away? Will she be too far away and you not available often enough to make it worthwhile? Are you just hanging about in chat rooms and offering cam? Are you asking for training via free telephone and cyber domination?
Although the above is the most understandable and logical place for you to be at this pojnt, it is also the place where you are only going to garner interest from those who are also only into chat, a little weekend cyber or cam, or the almighty tribute seekers who will do anything, or promise to do anything, in exchange for a depost into a paypal account. You will not earn any points by whining about it.
You have made 5 posts in 7 months,. Actually you began a thread in November regarding posting favorite sites (3 posts on that one) and you have begun this thread and made one additional response. How about participating in these boards more consistently? There are all sorts of good topics wherein you can learn and share on the General BDM Board as well as the "Ask a Mistress", "Ask a Switch" and "Ask a submissive/slave".
Most importantly...
Regardless or how far away or how far between, get yourself out into the community. Check all the surrounding areas and make a consistent effort. That is the best way to actually get to know people, show them who you are (not a "fly-by-night"?) and make and actual connection, even if it is not a permanent one at this point.
Good luck.

Edited to add: I just was signing out when I noted your photo with more than a passing glance. My personal opinion is you should lighten it up, change your shirt and look like you have a little pride. JMO, but you look right now as if you have little interest in your personal appearance. You only have once chance to make a first impression. That photo is not doing it for Me.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 1/12/2008 11:52:30 PM >

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Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
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Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

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RE: Little help. - 1/13/2008 12:04:39 AM

Zensee

Posts: 1564
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

There you go Captain - you just got Mistressed, gratis! Now don't be asking for any more until you have done your homework asssignments.

Mostly, go out, meet people, find the one(s) who suit your style and hang out with them.

Z.

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"Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water." (proverb)

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